The Site For B-Movie Lovers

Heartbeeps (1981) – Some Movies Should Never Have Been Made – This Is One

I saw Heartbeeps in the theatre when I was 12 with a buddy, and if I remember properly, I was disappointed – just as I was once again.

Starring the late comedic genius (and weirdo), Andy Kaufman as butler robot Val, and Bernadette Peters as a companion robot named Aqua. They are two robots amongst many that have been warehoused due to defects or obsolescence. It’s in this warehouse where they meet each other, and a one-liner comedian robot named Catskill go on an adventure together to study trees. Along the way Val and Aqua build a small, baby robot (whom they name Philco), fall in love and are pursued by a mal-functioning police robot.

Lame… Lame. Lame. Lame. This movie is not funny. Also, as stated earlier, it stars Bernadette Peters, who I have never liked. This movie sucks now like it sucked when it was first released.

Here is what Wikipedia has to say about the movie:

Val Com 17485 (Andy Kaufman), a robot designed to be a valetwith a specialty in lumber commodities, meets Aqua Com 89045 (Bernadette Peters), a hostess companion robot whose primary function is to assist at poolside parties. At a factory awaiting repairs, they fall in love and decide to escape, stealing a van from the company to do so. They embark on a quest to find a place to live, as well as satisfy their more immediate need for a fresh electrical supply. They assemble a small robot, Phil, built out of spare parts, whom they treat as their child, and are joined by Catskill, a mechanical standup comic (which is seen sitting the entire movie). A law-enforcement robot, the Crimebuster, comes after the fugitives, but with the help of humans who run a junkyard, and using Catskill’s battery pack, they are able to resolve their problems successfully.

Here’s the Trailer:


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