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Archive for July, 2012

The Last Chase (1981) – Lee Majors Takes Chris Makepeace on a Ride He’ll Never Forget (But Probably Should)

I watched this movie as a kid on TV back in the day – possibly 1981 or 1982 and freakin’ loved it. I mean, come on: it starred Lee Majors (you know, the Six Million Dollar Man – just the coolest guy ever), and Chris Makepeace (the then up and coming Canadian actor and co-star of the awesome Bill Murray film, Meatballs), and they were driving a freakin’ race car across a post plague stricken United States while the governed send out  Burgess Meredith  in a 1950s era F-86 Sabre fighter jet to kill him.

Lee Major’s plays an ex racecar driver, Franklyn Hart who has had trouble fitting into the new post plague U.S. with it’s overbearing governement and new no cars policy. In an effort to fight back, he plans on driving himself in his Porsche race car across the States to Free California.

Before he has a chance, he’s joined by genius mis-fit Chris Makepeace, who has been hacking government computers, and being a jerk. He forces himself along for the ride (of course) and along the way, the two become friends.

The Government wants to do anything they can to prevent Hart from reaching California and possible becoming a folk hero, and bring Air Force pilot Captain J.G. Williams (Burgess Meredith) out of retirement and plop him into an out dated jet with instructions to stop Hart. One problem: Williams is more into this for the fun, and actually sympathizes with Hart. Despite a few brushes with him, Williams takes it easy on him, and eventually end up saving Hart by sacrificing himself.


Ok… This movie has not aged well, and is once again proof that somethings are best left as great memories. Still, I am glad I re-watched it. Sure, it`s terrible but I had fun. I don`t think I could really recommend it, but I will anyway.

Here is the trailer:


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Orca: The Killer Whale – A Mammalian Version Of Jaws… Sort Of

1977’s Orca – The Killer Whale was obviously an attempt to ride the wave created by the Buzz of Jaws, released just two years prior.

Starring Richard Harris as as Captain Nolan, a salty Irish-Canadian fisherman who is determined to catch a killer whale to sell to an aquarium so he can finally pay off his boat. Also starring a terrible wooden actress by the name of Charlotte Rampling as Rachel Bedford, a local writer and Whale specialist who almost made me gouge my eyes out due to her emotionless, borring voice and acting. Harris is, fine – portraying a salty fisherman quiet well. It’s just…she sucked badly.

Anyway, Harris’ character attempts to catch an Orca live, but the attempt goes horrible wrong when the whale attempts to kill it’s self by forcing itself into the boats propellers. They manage to hoist the whale aboard, but the whale immediately aborts it’s foetus. All this is watched, closely by the whales mate. The remaining whale begins a course of revenge against Harris and his mates. Eventually, Harris drops the captured whale back into the ocean, too late for her to be saved.

Over the next however long, the whale manages to disable evey boat but Harris’ in the harbour – he wants to fight Harris at sea. Harris’ obliges.

I guess this is an attempt at a modern Moby Dick. Despite Charlotte Rampling’s shitty acting, I found this film somewhat compelling.  It’s also an attemp (I think) to make a “smart Jaws.” Jaws was about a mindless eating maching that just did what it was programmed to do: eat and swim. Orca is about an intelligent, thinking animal that methodically plots and extracts revenge against the man who killed it’s mate.

Interesting, and despite some low points, quite watchable. I say go for it!

Here is the trailer:



Down Periscope (1996) – Funnier than I Expected

On the urging of a friend of mine, I finally watched the 1996 Kelsey Grammer film, Down Periscope. While I did not find it as funny as my friend did, I did find it funnier than I expected.

The gist of the story is that Kelsey Grammer’s character Lieutenant Commander Thomas Dodge is being considered (and most likely denied) command of his own ship. Due to his unorthodox methods (and the fact that a sub he was commanding bumped into a soviet sub he was trailing. Dodge is given command of a 1950’s era diesel sub and a rag tag crew of losers and set with seemingly impossible orders to compete in naval war games. Rear Admiral Yancy Graham (Bruce Dern), has a vendetta against Dodge, and does all he can to make sure Dodge fails.

There is quite a bit of comedy talent in this film including Rob Schneider, Harland Williams and Rip Torn and Kelsey Grammer himself. The movie is far from great, yet far from terrible. It’s worth a watch for the occasional laugh.

Here’s the Trailer:



Galaxy of Terror (1981) – Better Cast Than Script

I was warned that this was a super bad movie, and that there was no way in Hell I would like it.

I liked this stupid movie.

On a rescue mission, a ship and her crew are set out to a planet run by the Planet Master. Once on the planet, the crew is quicky subjected to terrors…terrors based on their own fears.

This is a Roger Corman production with a few names that eventually became pretty big in the movie industry. A pre-Freddy Krueger (even pre-Willie from V), Robert Englund, star of a huge number of movies and TV shows Sid Haig and lets not forget Erin Moran a.k.a. Joanie Cunningham from Happy Days. Oh…and what is most surprising to me, James Cameron (Titanic, Avatar) as Production Designer and Second Unit Director.

Very cheezy, and much of the back drops look like bad paintings, still there is a certain charm to this film. None of it makes sense, but all of it was fun. Like many of the movies on this blog, the verdict is, if you like bad movies, you`ll like this. It didn`t win any awards, and didn`t deserve to, but it is fun. Watch this piece of crap if you have time.

Here is the Trailer:

And looky here – here`s the whole movie:



Captain America (1990) – Fun but Dumb

You know, I didn’t even know that this movie existed until earlier this week when one of my fellow co-workers suggested I watch it for this blog – I’ll definitely have to thank him for this.

This 1990 depiction of Captain America is a pretty shoddy deal, but is cheezy enough to stay fun.

Typical Captain America story: Nazi Germany (and the Italian Mussolini regime) develop a super soldier, the Red Skull, and the American’s do the same with Captain America. Bad things happen, Captain America gets frozen for 40 or so years, thaws out and continues his battle against the Red Skull. In this version, the President has been kidnapped by the Red Skull with the help of a general from the Pentagon, with the plan to implant a mind control device, therefore making the President little more than a puppet for the Red Skull. Of course, the newly revived Captain America must save the President (and the Free World with it) by defeating the Red Skull once and for all.

Silly, dumb, bad acting and Ned Beatty – I freakin’ loved this piece of crap. Don’t watch it because you love the Avengers or Captain America – watch it because you love bad movie, and you won’t be disapointed

And… you can watch the whole awesome mess on Youtube – and that link can be found after the trailer, below.

Here is the Trailer:

And here, my friends is the whole movie:


Encounter at Raven’s Gate (1988) – What a Piece of Crap

So, I watched 1988 film Encounter at Raven’s Gate (also known as Incident at Raven’s Gate) at the suggestion of an Australian friend that couldn’t stop raving about it. He owes me 89 minutes.

This so called sci-fi movie takes place in a small town and a farm in the Outback of Australia. Psychosis, electrical disturbances, theft of water and a foot ball trophy are the main issues – some unseen aliens too.

That’s it – Boring, shitty film. Watch it if you like – I didn’t. Boo Australia, boo!

Here’s the shitty trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6eh3_ZZKXE


Invaders from Mars (1986) – 80s Remake of 1953 Classic Falls Short of Original, But Still Fun

Last night I watched the 1986 remake of the 1953 Sci-Fi classic, Invaders from Mars and was surprisingly pleased: this campy homage to the original managed to stay true to the cheezy, innocence of the first film.

I watched this with two friends that didn’t seem nearly as into the film as I was, which was too bad, as I don’t think they gave it the chance it deserved.

Here’s the gist of the story: A flying saucer lands just over the hill from the back yard of a family during a meteor shower, who’s young, intelligent and imaginative son, David Gardner, is the only witness to this event. Excitedly, he runs and wakes his parents and tells them what he saw. Soon he is put back to bed, after being told that he obviously imagined the event. Still, his father George Gardner, who works the Space Agency decides that he should go out and check out the spot David pointed out, just in case.

The next morning, David and his mother report his father missing, calling the local police. While the police I searching, George returns, with a wooden, to the point and sullen attitude. Soon the police arrive back, affecting a similar attitude as George. They all insist that all is well, but in fact, they’ve all been taken over by the Martians. Each now sport a tiny wound at the base of the neck – the spot where a probe has been injected that allows the Martians to control their victims/agents. One by one, more and more people from the town and nearby NASA base are being co-opted by the Martians, including David’s mother.

At school, David is agitated (hey his folks have come under the control of aliens), and is sent to the nurse, Linda Magnusson(played by consumate B-Movie actress, Karen Black) by a bitchy teacher. The nurse realizes that David is extremely upset and listens to his incredible tale (including the bit about the would on the neck of those co-opted). At first she believes he is imagining things until she to notices behavioural changes in those around her, and the fact that many people are sporting bandages at the base of their necks. Soon Linda and David are on the run – they end up at NASA, speaking to a big wig that actually listens. Soon a plan is formed to fight the invaders.

A silly movie, intentionally, Invaders from Mars keeps enough of the campiness of the original, with a modern (well, 1986 modern) update. The real Martians, when you eventually see them are pretty cool looking (and not CGI – this is all practical effects). Very cheezy, totally campy and fun. I say go ahead and watch this one.

Here’s the trailer:

And looky here – here`s the whole damned movie: