Return To Nuke’em High Volume 1 (2013) – If You Like Troma Then You Know Why I Like This – Also: Bonus Q & A With Lloyd Kaufman
Okay, barely a review and much more a gushing over Lloyd Kaufman and Troma… and the Calgary Horror Convention. Actually had a chance to watch this Troma film in a theatre and with the added bonus of being in the presence of the great Lloyd Kaufman, Co-creator of Troma films and the legendary Toxic Avenger. Lloyd was great, the film was fun and I just ramble on and on and on. There is some bonus clips from the question and answer with Lloyd Kaufman at the end of the video. Hope you all enjoy!
Shaky Cam Week Movie 2 – The Blair Witch Project (1999) – Still Creepy
While not the first to do it, The Blair Witch Project was the first movie to really bring the “found footage” style of movie to the masses. Telling the tale of three student filmmakers (stole that line from Wikipedia), who went out to make a documentary about the Blair Witch, a legendary figure, and never came back.
The film starts out with a message stating tat the movie was put together from the footage found in the cameras after the three film students had disappeared. The three, Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard, and Michael Williams had headed out to make a documentary about an evil witch, or spirit that is rumoured to haunt the woods outside of Burkittsville, Maryland (formerly known as “Blair”). They talk to locals who tell them the tales they heard as children growing up in Burkittsville, and how the witch tale was used to keep kids in line. They also hear the tail of a tragedy that happened in the 1940s with the disappearance of several local children, as well as several men from the community. Well, the three decide to head off into the woods in search of the Witch, or at lease evidence of such. Soon they find themselves hopelessly lost and it seems the focus of some weird nocturnal activities. They hear weird sounds at night and fins strange constructs of twigs and wood as well as neatly stacked rocks around their tent in the morning. As time passes and they become more and more loss, the individuals start really showing their stress in the way they interact with each other. The weird sounds and such continue and increase, adding to the stress of the group. When one member of the group disappears in the night, and fails to return, it just gets worse. You know things are just not likely to work out for our little group of film makers.
The Blair Witch Project did a great job of capturing the initial enthusiasm of the three, as well as there slide to desperation , and breakdown of the three main characters. They manage to remain believable (for the most part), and while you may grow frustrated with them at times, it’s at times where youy as a watcher are supposed to get frustrated with them. Is this a good movie? Damn straight.
Check out the trailer below, and if you haven’t seen it yet, go out and get yourself a copy.
Godzilla Week Movie 1 – Gojira (1954) – Godzilla Makes It’s Debut And Japan Is Screwed
1954’s Gojira (the Japanese name for Godzilla, and not some cheap knock off of the Godzilla licence) if the first appearance of Godzilla in film, and it’s a good one.
A Japanese film, through and through, Gojira tells the tale of an ancient beast, a creature of legends, that has been released from it’s lair beneath the ocean when it’s home is destroyed by atomic tests being conducted in the Pacific ocean (this is the early to mid-1950s, after all). At first a few boats go missing with no clues. When a few survivors are found, they speak seemingly gibberish about the ocean exploding. Seems only an old and grumpy man, knows what’s happening when he starts talking about the old legends of a giant lizard beast that would emerge and wreak havoc, and how they used to appease the beast by setting the occasional girl adrift on a raft for the creature’s snacking pleasure. Finally enough sightings and reports of the creature start coming through that a scientific research team is put together to study the beast. Once they discover that Godzilla is real, it’s then up to the military to destroy Godilla, who is now working it’s way towards Tokyo. As usual, (though not “as usual” for the audiences of 1954), traditional tactics do nothing but piss the monster off, and just causes more destruction. It’s not until a physically and emotionally scarred scientist is convinced to use his discovery, a device that destroys oxygen and liquefies living flesh, that Japan has even a slim hope of surviving the monster’s attack.
Gojira is as good as an introduction to a movie beast as any I’ve seen. The creature design has proven solid, as this 1954 Godzilla still looks like the same Godzilla that you would find in the 60’s,70’s and beyond (except for that crappy American Godzilla movie). Also, the creatures iconic roar is there, right from the start. It’s also interesting to watch this film with the knowledge that this was made in a Japan that is very different from today’s Japan. This is a Japan that was still healing from a World War that almost decimated them. The war is mentioned, and the testing of nuclear weapons are highlighted as a bad thing. If you like Godzilla, then you have to watch this film. If you are unsure if you like Godzilla, then you have to watch this and a number of other Godzilla movies if you really want to decide if you are a fan or not. I know I am.
Check out the trailer below:
You read that right: This week of movie watching is dedicated to everybody’s favourite, reptilian destroyer of Japanese cities, Godzilla (a.k.a. Gojira).
Why Godzilla? Well, it started after watching Dragonslayer – I was talking to my buddy and thought that perhaps a week dedicated to movies about Dragons might be a cool idea… Until I started searching out movies about Dragons – there aren’t many, and for the most part, the ones that do exist I am not interested in. Except one thing: I consider Godzilla to be a Dragon, and there are a lot of Godzilla movies to choose from, and I just happen to like Godzilla. I think this is what is known as a Win/Win situation folks. Over the next week I will write up the Godzilla movies I watch and share them with you, as usual. But take note: I will not be watching the travesty of a Godzilla movie that starred Mathew Broderick – to me that is not a true Godzilla movie.
So… Welcome to Godzilla Week my Internet friends!
Vampire Week Movie 7 – Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) – Full Circle
So, here we are, with the seventh and last movie of our Vampire movie week. With this movie, 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula, we have in a away returned to the beginning. Our first movie of our Vampire week, 1979’s Dracula starring Frank Langella, and tonight’s movie, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), are both retellings of the classic Dracula story.
Starring the great Gary Oldman as Count Dracula, and taking place primarily in 1897 (with some important scenes happening in 1462). Count Dracula has decided to purchase several properties in London, England and his case has been handed to a new solicitor (like a lawyer), Jonathan Harker (played by Keanu Reeves, with the absolutely worse English accent I have heard in I don’t know how long). Harker has taken on Dracula’s portfolio from a Mr Renfield (played extremely well by Tom Waits), who has since gone completely insane. Harker must travel to Transylvania to meet with Count Dracula to discuss his plan to purchase Carfax Abbey. Once in the hands of Dracula, he soon finds that he is a prisoner. While there are some perks (there are some pretty sexy vampire chicks), he escapes, a changed man, and heads back to London. Dracula, himself changed from a decrepit, creepy old man, to a now dashing young gentleman, has put a spell on Harker’s fiancé, Mina (played by Winona Rider who also struggles with her accent… though nothing like Keanu’s). Oh… He also seduces, rapes and drains Lucy, Mina’s friend. Yeah, this is Dracula – he does stuff like that. Enter Van Helsing, (portrayed by Anthony Hopkins) everybody’s favourite Vampire hunter.
Okay – this is the classic Dracula story, retold in 1992 with a good cast and a big budget. Director Francis Ford Coppola did a good job bringing the story back to the screen in this very watchable retelling. Is it better than the 1979 version? I wouldn’t say so, but it is good enough to watch and enjoy. Also, it’s good enough to forgive that awful accent of Reeve’s. Check out the trailer below:
Tarantino Week–Movie 5–Jackie Brown (1997)
You know what? I think Tarantino likes the 1970’s.. well, so do I, so do I.
Jackie Brown is such a throwback to the Blaxploitation films of the 1970’s that I almost think that Tarantino travelled back in time to gather up some magic, earth toned 70’s mojo to pack into this film… or not.
Starring Pam Grier (yeah, the tough chick from… those 70’s Blaxploitation films… see? I told you!), as Jackie Brown, a tough attractive flight attendant, who supplements her meagre wage by smuggling cash into the US from Mexico for a gun runner named Ordell Roberts, played by the seriously awesome Samuel L. Jackson. When one of Ordell’s mules gets caught and incarcerated, Ordell aranges for their bail, and kills them so they won’t turn informant. Soon after, Jackie herself gets caught by the feds bringing in cash and drugs (which were placed on her, without her knowledge). Refusing to testify against Ordell, she is locked up. Despite her refusal to talk, Ordell is still worried that she may talk to the feds, so he arranges her release, and plans on killing her too. Turning the tables on Ordell (a pistol will do things like that), she negotiates with Ordell to pretend to be working with the feds while smuggling a crap load of cash for Ordell.
This movie, like almost all Tarantino films, is freakin’ jam packed full of great stars. Honestly, here is a list of the stars in this crazy, throwback of a movie:
- Pam Grier as Jackie Brown
- Samuel L. Jackson as Ordell Robbie
- Robert Forster as Max Cherry
- Bridget Fonda as Melanie Ralston
- Michael Keaton as Ray Nicolet
- Robert De Niro as Louis Gara
- Chris Tucker as Beaumont Livingston
- Michael Bowen as Mark Dargus
- Lisa Gay Hamilton as Sheronda
- Tommy "Tiny" Lister Jr. as Winston
- Hattie Winston as Simone
- Sid Haig as Judge
- Aimee Graham as Amy
- Diana Uribe as Anita Lopez
- T’Keyah Crystal Keymah as Raynelle
- Denise Crosby (uncredited) as Public defender
- Quentin Tarantino (uncredited) as Answering machine voice
- Helmut Berger (uncredited, archive footage) as Nanni Vitali
- Marissa Mell (uncredited, archive footage) as Giuliana Caroli
- Council Cargle (uncredited, archive footage) as Drew Sheppard
- Tony Curtis (uncredited, archive footage) as himself
-This list was copied directly from the Wikipedia article on this movie which can be found here .
Oozing cool, Jackie Brown delivers 1970’s awesomeness, updated (just enough), for a (mostly), modern audience. If you haven’t seen this film, and like the style of Tarantino films, then this is for you. If you like your films, antiseptically clean, then walk away…and why are you reading this blog anyway?
Check out the trailer below, and why not watch this masterpiece tonight?
Tarantino Week–Movie 4–Pulp Fiction (1994)
1994’s epic movie, Pulp Fiction, is a crazy, head spinning movie that just doesn’t give you a chance to take a breath. Like almost all Tarantino movies, it has a cast that is virtually a who’ who of Hollywood (as of 1994).
Pulp Fiction is a homage to the crazy B-Movies of the 60’s and 70’s, right down to the out of order timeline of events in the film. You’ve got a couple of thugs, or muscle for a Mobster by the name of Marcel, Vincent Vega (John Travolta), and Jules Winfield (Samuel L. Jackson), who among other jobs, are sent to collect a briefcase with…something in it, from some young guys, who apparently believe Marcel is a bitch (watch the movie…). Things go wrong and things get messy.
We also have a sub story about a boxer, Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis), who’s been paid heavily by none other than non-bitch Marcel, to take a dive in his upcoming fight.. yeah, things go wrong, and Butch and his weird and annoying French girlfriend are on the run. Later, Butch and Marcel end up captives to some hillbilly homosexual sadist rapists. Things get crazy again. Release the Gimp. and in another segment, Butch surprises Vincent… with deadly results.
We also have Vincent, charged with keeping Marcel’s wife, Mia (Uma Thurman), entertained while Marcel is away. The two end up at a cool, over the top, 50’s style diner. There’s some talk of a $5 milk shake and a great dance off… and then later, back at Marcel’s and Mia’s things get crazy, Mia ends up almost dead, rushed to Vincent’s heroin dealer’s house with a syringe of adrenalin sticking out of her chest.
Somewhere in the middle, a crazy criminal couple (Tim Roth and Amanda Plummer) decide they want to rob the restaurant where Vincent and Jules are chilling out in. Things get intese this time, with Jules and holding a gun to Roth’s neck and explaining the deal to him…
Damn this movie is cool – awesome and out of sight. Some people (my wonderful wife included), do not like the fact that the story line is not linear, but I think that’s part of what makes the movie as great as it is. Should you watch this film? Yes, many times.
Check out the trailer below:
Tarantino Week–Movie 3: True Romance (1993)
True Romance is a crazy, wild ride of a movie. Written by Quentin Tarantino, and starring Christian Slater as Clarence Worley and Patricia Arquette as Alabama Whitman, a young couple who meet at a Sonny Chiba triple play at a theatre in Detroit. They hit off real good, have dinner and then both end up at Clarence’s apartment, having sex. Alabama then admits she’s a hooker hired by his boss, to help him blow off some steam. She also admits that she’s managed to fall in love with him over the course of the evening. This is fortunate, as apparently Clarence has fallen in love with her also. Having known each other for a whole night, they do the logical thing and get married. Now Clarence has to deal with Alabama’s Pimp, Drexl (Gary Oldman). What confronting the pimp, and after a ruckus, and a visit from Clarence’s muse/alter ego/imaginary friend in his head, Drexl ends up dead, and Clarence accidentally ends up with a suitcase full of cocaine. The newly webs hatch a plan to sell the cocaine and restart their lives somewhere warm… Well, the coke was the Mobs, and soon the two are being tracked down by some unsavoury characters, one being the always awesome Christopher Walken as gangster Vincenzo Coccotti. Before the duo leave Detroit for California, they stop by Clarence’s estranged fathers, a police officer by the name of Clifford, played by Dennis Hopper a Detroit police officer, to find out what the police believe the motive for Drexl’s murder. After they leave, Coccotti and his crew end up at Cliffords to drill him on the location of Clarence and Alabama… A great exchange between two great actors happens…only one survives.
Off to Cali, the dynamic duo meet up with an old friends of Clarence, who begrudgingly agrees to help him sell the cocaine to a director he kind of knows, using a go between, played by Bronson Pinchot. Things go wrong, cops get involved, a meeting happend and everything goes to crap…
This movie is crazy and cool – crazy cool? Yeah. Unlike the Kill Bill movies (and the others I will be reviewing), this is written by Tarantino, but directed by Tony Scott, and therefore has a different feeling than Tanatino directed films – but don’t think that is a bad thing, it’s just different. This is a great film and deserves to be watched.
Check out the trailer:
Tarantino Week–Movie 2: Kill Bill Vol. 2 (2004)
When we finished Quentin Tarantino’s 2003 movie, Kill Bill Volume 1, Bill (played by David Caradine) was still alive… This pretty much guaranteed us a Volume 2.
Volume 2, released in early 2004, opens with a flash beck to Bill shooting Uma Thurman’s character, The Bride, and leaving her, presumably, for dead on the floor of a small church. Then we see The Bride herself, driving, recounting what happened in Volume 1, and then calmly letting us know that she is going to kill Bill. Soon we see Bill, speaking to his brother,Budd (played by Michael Madsen), himself a former Deadly Viper, warning him that The Bride is most likely on her way to kill him. Budd, who now spends his time working as a bouncer in a titty bar, explains that they all deserve any kind of vengeance that the Bride may bestow upon them, for what they did to her. Later, The Bride, expecting to ambush Budd, end up on the wrong side of a 12 gauge shotgun packed full of rock salt. Incapacitated, Budd buries her alive, in a cemetery, and calls fellow Viper, Elle Driver (played by Daryl Hannah), bragging of his deed, and offering up The Bride’s Hanzo sword to her for a cool million dollars – an offer she snaps at. Meanwhile, we flashback to The Bride…who flashes back to her martial arts training at the hands of a merciless master by the name of Pai Mei (Gordon Liu). We see a young Bride as she develops her techniques through repetition and the seeming heartlessness of her master. Eventually it is obvious that she has won his respect. Now we flashback to the present, with the Bride using one of the many techniques taught to her by Pai Mei to escape. Meanwhile, back at Budd’s trailer, Elle has shown up to get the sword. Providing Budd a suitcase full of cash (a million dollars, I presume), she inspects the weapon while Budd starts grabbing handfuls of cash out of the suitcase… Only to find a surprise – a deadly surprise, waits for him in all that cash. Now with Budd out of the way, The Bride has made her way back to Budd’s place to find Elle – which is good, because she too was on the Bride’s list of those that have to die… A great sword fight breaks out, and along the way we discover that Elle, who also was sent to learn under Pai Mei, had killed the old master by poisoning his meal. We also lean that the Master had plucked one of Ell’s eyes out during her training for being insubordinate to the old man. Enrages, The Bride takes instant justice by relieving Elle of her remaining eye…
Now on to Bill… The Bride, now referred to as Beatrix, has tracked Bill to Mexico. Meeting an elderly, dirt bag of a gentleman by the name of Esteban Vihaio, who tells her Bill’s location, because he believes Bill would want him to. Making it to Bill’s, she receives a shocks when she discovers some interesting personal info…and a dart of truth serum to the neck. More flashbacks and some serious talking, and then battle… awesome battle.
You know the name of the movies, so you figure out what the outcome is (watch the movies if you haven’t already). These two movies were meant to be released as a single movie, but the run time would be over 4 hours so they were broken into two. Watch both back to back for the original intended experience, The Kill Bill movies are fantastic and you should watch them.
Check out the trailer below:
Tarantino Week–Movie 1: Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003)
Quentin Tarantino’s 2003 movie, Kill Bill Volume 1 tells the story of “The Bride” (played by Uma Thurman), a former member of an assassination team known as the Deadly Vipers, and her journey of revenge against her former fellow assassins, and Bill, her former master and leader of the Deadly Vipers, for attacking and massacring her wedding party and leaving her for dead during a wedding rehearsal.
Thurman’s character, in this iteration of the Kill Bill Saga is known simply as the Bride. Waking from a coma, four years after Bill left her for dead on the floor of a church, he Bride takes little time to start her path of vengeance… starting right there in the hospital,taking out the redneck that paid a greaseball orderly to have sex with her… Oh, and she takes out that orderly, quickly. also… and takes off with his ridiculous, bright yellow truck, labeled “The Pussy Wagon”. First stop. after the killing in the hospital is to the home of Vernita Green (played by Vivica A. Fox). The two do epic battle with a short break in the middle when Vernita’s young daughter comes home. Soon the action restarts, and ends with The Bride heading to her next destination/victim, O-Ren Ishii (played by Lucy Liu), a former Viper and now leader of a consortium of Yakuza families. A flashback shows us just how she won the respect and fear of the male dominated Yakuza families. When The Bride shows up in Japan, she defeats what seems to be an almost endless number of minions, known as the Crazy 88s. The scene ends with a very stylistically shot scene with The Bride and Oren in a samurai sword battle. Pretty evenly matched… but you know who is going to win, and she does so in a spectacular fashion. Upon leaving, she leaves one former member of the Deadly Vipers alive: Sophie Fatale, (played by Julie Dreyfus), is left alive, albeit minus one arm, to send the message that The Bride is coming for him. Mixed up in the story ids a sub story, where the Bride travels to the island of Okinawa, and convinces the esteemed, but now retired sword smith, Hattori Hanzō (played by the awesome Sonny Chiba), to craft her a samurai sword. At first he declines… that is until she tells him the sword is to be used to Kill Bill. Now he’s in…
Kill Bill Vol. 1 is a little disjointed. Like Tarantino’s other masterpiece, Pulp Fiction, it has a disjointed timeline – the scenes are just not in linear order. I believe this may be in homage to the cheezy B-Movies of the past where projectionists would sometimes play the reels out of order, either due to mis-labeling or just carelessness. Either way, I like it.
Watch Kill Bill Volume 1… and if you’ve seen it, watch it again.
Check out the trailer below:
Another Great Movie Deal: Die Hard 25th Anniversary BLU-RAY Collection For $20!
S I was walking though the Blu-Ray section at my local Wal-Mart when I found the Die Hard 25th Anniversary Blu-Ray Collection. It includes Die Hard (1988), Die Hard 2 – Die Harder (1990) , Die Hard With a Vengeance (1995) and Live Free Or Die Hard (2007). All these awesome action movies in one cooly designed set with an added disc of extras…. all for $20! These are good action (and Christmas), movies and this is a good addition to one’s BLU-RAY collection.
Tarantino Week–7 Days of Awesome
After a suggestion from my friend that normally watches these movies with suggested we do a Tarantino week…
Well, we are doing just that.
Tank Girl (1995)–Tank Girl, You Rock My Movie Watching World
Oh my… why has it taken so long for me to watch Tank Girl?
So, I remember when this movie first came out back in the day and thinking “that looks like crap” and never bothering to watch it. Well this week my movie watching buddy suggested we watch it, and while not totally enthused, I agreed. I’m glad I did.
Tank Girl is a 1995 post apocalypse Sci-Fi movie based on a comic of the same name. Taking place in the year 2033, 11 years after a comet hit the Earth devastating the environment. One large, evil company, Water and Power (WP) controls the World’s water supply. They are run by the equally evil Kesslee (played very well by Malcolm McDowell. Rebecca, (Tank Girl, played by Lori Petty) is a crazy ass resistance member that survive off of water they extract themselves – something very much against WP’s company policy. In a raid, most of Tank Girl’s compatriots are killed, while her young friend, Sam (Stacy Linn Ramsower), is captured. After managing on killing a good number of WP’s men, Tank Girl is also taken into captivity. Impressed by her ability to kill so many of his top men, Kesslee offer’s her a job. Refusing, Kesslee put her through a series of tortures in order to break her will… Good luck with that.
When not being tortured, she is forced to work gruelling shifts for WP. There she meets Jet Girl (played by Naomi Watts), a girl with talent, butt very timid. They get to know each other when Tank Girl saves Jet Girl from the advances of a guard. Eventually Tank Girl escapes (with a tank – go figure), and goes off to look for her friend Sam (now forced into servitude at a brothel). Along the way she meets he Rippers – mutant humanoids (and something else – watch the movie to figure that out) that fight WP at every step. Eventually Tank Girl gains the trust of the Rippers (who are actually quite civilized in their own way), and she and the Rippers take on WP. Pretty vague description… but that is on purpose.
Tank Girl successfully combines action, Science Fiction and comedy all together into a goulash of awesomeness that I completely did not expect. This movie had my attention from the beginning, and while completely weird, is also completely awesome. I heartily suggest you watch this crazy movie.
Check out the trailer below:
Halloween 6 The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)–Why Did This Have to Be Your Last Film Mr. Pleasence?
Let’s get this straight: 1978’s Halloween was a seminal, ground breaking film in the Slasher/Horror genre. Let’s get another thing straight: Halloween 6 The Curse of Michael Meyer is not.
Obviously looking at cashing in on the already tired Halloween franchise, this one puts the blame for Michael of some ancient curse/alignment of the stars that only happens on certain Halloween’s.
This movie sucks. They brought back the usually great Donald Pleasence, who seems frail and weak in this film – heck he passed away very shortly after completing this film, and it also stars a young Paul Rudd. Unfortunately they couldn’t secure Daniel Harris to revise her role as Jamie from the two Halloween movies prior to this one – She was too smart and they were too cheap to pay her.
You know, I could tell you more about the actual movie but I won’t waste you or my time doing so. Let me just say that your time would be better spent watching any number of other movies… Check out the original Halloween or even Rob Zombie’s remake.
This movie is boring.
Freaked (1993)–Awesome Movie–Why Haven’t I Heard of It Before Now?
Well, this movie was a surprise. Coming out in 1993 and having a pretty damned big cast, I have no idea as to why I’ve never heard of it up until last week.
1993’s Freaked stars William Sadler as Dick Brian, a former child star that, along with a group of compatriots, are turned into mutant freaks by mad scientist/Showman Elijah C. Scruggs (played very well by Randy Quaid), and held captive, along with his other victims turned performers for his own Freak Show. Of course i’s up to them to plot an escape, which leads to a whole new bunch of excitement. Retelling the tale of the incident that left him horribly disfigured and ended his acting career on a daytime talk show hosted by the vacuous Skye Daily (played by Brooke Shields), while in shadow (presumable to hide his horrible disfigurement), the movie is shot as a flashback, and occasionally returning to the present either for a dumb, but funny comment from Skye, or a silly commercial. Quaid’s Scruggs is an awesomely over the top character, and his stable of freaks is truly impressive. I especially enjoyed Mr. T as the Bearded Lady! Special effect makeups are fantastic and completely over the top. The film combines horror with humour very successfully, something that isn’t easy to do.
A silly film that deserves your attention, I heartily suggest this as a watch.
Check out the trailer below:
G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)–Not a Smart Movie, But a Fun Movie
You don’t watch a G.I. Joe movie looking for award winning performances, but you should watch them for a fun movie full of action and explosions – this G.I. Joe movie delivers at that.
In Retaliation, the President of the United States has been replaced by face changing bad guy, Zartan (played by Arnold Vosloo), who is in the process of transforming the United States from Peacekeeper to war happy nation. Under the guise of securing a rogue nuclear device and keeping it out of the hands of terrorists, the (fake) President orders the G.I. Joe team into action. Once they complete the initial part of the mission, the G.I . Joe team is attacked in an impressive show of explosions and firepower. The team is pretty much decimated aside from a few key Joes. Vowing vengeance for their fallen brethren, the three remaining Joe’s start off looking for the one who betrayed them. Meanwhile, back in the States, fake president Zartan has made the Joe’s look like traitors and terrorists, and announced that Anerica’s new super militay team is now Cobra. Also, he’s convened a gathering of the leaders of the nations o the world with Nuclear devices in order to talk disarmament… Yeah right – he’s Evil!. A few more twists and some more explosions and some tense situations later… and the good guys end up winning (come on, it’s a G.I. Joe movie – you don’t really think there’s any chance of the bad guys winning do you?).
So, I am old, and when I was interested in G.I. Joe, he wasn’t a little 4 inch character but big enough to date Barbie and kick Ken’s ass. Pretty sure this is based on the 80’s to present version of G.I. Joe – not an important point, but I had to put this out there.
Staring Dwayne Johnson, Bruce Willis and (for a short while) Channing Tatum, Retaliation is not suffering from big stars. At times I found myself a little confused as to who was good and who was bad, and for a movie based on a series of Toys, man there is a lot of killing. Sure, I know this is a War toy, and I was not offended in any way, shape or form, but was surprised nonetheless. But overall this was an entertaining action film.
Check out the trailer below.
Basket Case Trilogy (1982,1990,1992)–Hilariously Ridiculous
Wow… I had never heard of the Basket Case movies until my buddy suggested we watch them about a month ago. Well, last night we finished the last of the three movies and I have to say that I was left pleasantly surprised at how much these movies entertained me.
The Basket Case movies tell the story of two Siamese, or co-joined twins, separated in childhood. One twin, Duane Bradley (played hilariously cheezily by Kevin Van Hentenryck) is a fully formed, mostly normal looking guy, but his brother, Belial, is a disgusting blob of flesh with one dangerously powerful arm and, a very strong leg and a disturbingly human face with a mouth full of jagged, dangerous teeth. Belial is a dangerous character who is understandable unbalanced. Spending most of his time in a basket (hence the name of the movies), he and Duane have a psychic bond and can communicate without words). Duane and Belial were separated against their will when children in a horrific home surgery. Now Belial and Duane are looking for revenge on the doctor’s that did the brutal operation. Belial, extracting his revenge – this little guy is a damned efficient killing machine – having killed a large number of people, gets into a scuffle and he and Duane fall out a window together. Apprehended and brought to a hospital, they both escape.
Basket Case 2 picks up where Basket Case left off – now Duane and Bradley find themselves in the home of Granny Ruth (played by Annie Ross), a woman who has taken it upon herself to provide sanctuary for horribly and bizarrely deformed people. The cast of strange creatures is interesting and funny – I thing the creature designer on this film most likely had a great time. This is a place where Belial can feel at home and not have to hide from the world. Duane, though is having a tougher time fitting in, as he feels like the outsider. That said, he manages to fall in love with Granny Ruth’s assistant, Susan (played by Heather Rattray), a seemingly normal young lady – and it seems that she loves Duane, too. Also, Belial finds love himself when he falls for a similarly mutated Eve. Soon Granny Ruth’s sanctuary is threatened by a sleazy reporter and photographer. Duane and Belial decide to organize the ragtag group of mutants into an efficient and deadly defence. After saving the day, Duane and Susan start to get it on… and Duane finds out the real reason Susan stays with Granny Ruth. Duane flips out and goes off the mental deep end (and something happens to Susan)… And the movie ends. Oh, I can’t forget to mention the weirdest love scene ever between two lumps of mutated flesh.
Basket Case 3, starts the moment Basket Case 2 ends. Duane wakes up to find himself in a straight jacket, calling out to whomever claiming that he’s all better now. Granny Ruth enters his padded cell and explains how long he’s been there and why. She also gives him some good news: he’s going to be an uncle, as Belial has impregnated Eve. Eve, being massively mutated, is starting to go into labour, and Granny Ruth is concerned that she may require medical attention. She packs up the entire group of mutants into a school bus and they take off to a sympathetic Doctor referred to as Uncle Hal. Uncle Hal has been taking care of a genius, multi-armed mutant, Little Hal. Duane, still a loose, mildly crazy loose cannon, is trying to escape at any cost. Meanwhile Eve Gives birth to a…a lot of little Belial copies, despite the fact that Belial loses it and attacks Uncle Hal (due to a flashback). Getting the attention of the Sheriff’s daughter, who he stupidly trusts, he soon finds himself behind bars, while the stupid deputy’s decided that they want to capture Belial for a reported $1,000,000 reward offered by a rag newspaper. Yeah, well that doesn’t go very well and one escapes with his life and a basket full of baby Belial looking offspring. The mutants aren’t going to stand for that, and they launch a brazen attack on the jail in order to save the babies. Things get even weirder.
Okay, these are low budget movies that leave a lot to be desired. That said, I really enjoyed them. Duane is an unbelievable silly character that while fake, is super fun to watch. Belial is such a weird character that it’s hard to find him scary, and the gallery of mutants under Granny Ruth’s roof are very… crazy. Still, I really liked these movies – they have a certain charm that is very rare in the horror genre, and if you can suspend your sense of disbelief, you might just have a good time watching these crazy movies.
Remake Week Movie #6–Frankenstein Unbound (1990)
Alright… This might be cheating, as this is a reimagining and not so much a remake. That said, this is my blog and I’m counting this one as part of Remake Week.
Frankenstein Unbound tells the story of Dr. Joe Buchanan (played by John Hurt), who in the year 2031, in an attempt to create a safer weapon for the military accidentally creates a tear in time and space and finds himself and his amazing electric, computerized car transported back to 1817 Switzerland.
In ancient Switzerland, Buchanan meets the famous Dr. Frankenstein (played by Raul Julia), who has already created his now famous, mythical monster. Said monster has killed a child, and a young girl has been accused and found guilty of the boy’s murder through Witchcraft. Buchanan tries to convince Frankenstein to tell the authorities the truth and save t he girl’s life. Ignored by Frankenstein, Buchanan tries to get the help of Mary Shelley (author of the famous Frankenstein novel, and played by Bridget Fonda). Frankenstein and his Monster turn out to be difficult to deal with, though – one insane with power, the other a beast of a man who has not been explained the very basics of life). Buchanan almost gets lynched for the murder of Frankenstein’s fiancé, a crime the monster committed – and said monster saves Buchanan from this mob, only to take him to Frankenstein’s castle to help in the reanimation of Frankenstein’s freshly dead Fiancé. Instead of helping, Buchanan tricks the Monster into helping him reopen the time space rift, propelling Frankenstein, the Monster and his self far into the distant, bleak empty future. – a future where human’s are no more. There is a bit of a twist at the end, that while weak, I won’t spoil.
Just a note: The late Michael Hutchence, then lead singer of the Australian rock band INXS plays Percy Shelley.
This movie has a half decent cast, and while entertaining, is really quite weak. Was it worth watching? Sure. Should you go out of your way to see it? I don’t think so.
Check out the trailer below:
Remake Week Movie #4 – Psycho (1998)
Okay, I watched this movie this morning before work, because my buddy that watches these movies with me had no interest in re-watching this movie as he hated it. I watched it back in 1998, and while I barely remembered watching it, I do remember that I liked it. Re-watching it today, I think I have to suggest that my friend re-watch it himself, because this is a damned good movie.
Anne Heche revises Janet Leigh’s iconic role of Marion Crane, a secretary who steals $450,000 dollars from her employer in an attempt to get her boyfriend out of debt so that they can start a life together free of debt. Taking off to go visit him, she decides to stop at a roadside motel, the Bates Motel when he journey takes longer than anticipated. Once there she finds she is the only guest at this lonely hotel. She meets Norman Bates (played very impressively by a young Vince Vaughn), who take a liking to her, gets her a room right next to the office and invites her to dine with him. They have an awkward but friendly visit, and Marion goes back to her room. Soon we see that Norman has put a secret peephole in the wall between the office and the room that Marion is in – we learn this by watching Norman spy on her while… pleasuring himself.
Soon crapp hits the fan,and in a good recreation of a very iconic bathroom/tub murder scene, Marion end up dead at the hands of… someone. Soon we see Norman running from the house to Marion’s room, in distress and finding her body. Hmmm… Interesting. Next thing you know, Norman is cleaning up the room and dumping Marion and car in a swamp.
Okay, well people have noticed that Marion has disappeared (with a lot of someone else’s money), and are looking for her. First onto reacjh the hotel in a quest for Marion is private detective Milton Arbogast, played by William H. Macy. He questions Norman on whether or not Marion was at the hotel. His questioning trips up Norman a few time, making Norman agitated. Not satified with the answers he got from Norman, Milton decides to do a little more investigating – which leads to tragic results. Soon Marion’s sister and Marion’s lover enters the search putting even more stress on Norman. Norman starts making mistakes, and despite trying, isn’t able to take care of this latest incursion into his little world with a well placed stab of a knife or a good bludgeoning. No, the gig might be up for Norman.
So, better than the Hitchcock original? No. Good? Very. Watch both.
Here’s the trailer:
Nightscares (1994)–Oh What a Piece of Crap They Dreamed Up Here
This 1994 movie starring the always hot Elizabeth Hurley absolutely sucks. I like bad movies but someone owes me some freakin’ time back. Oh, and it is also known as “Beyond Bedlam.”
I watched this on Netflix, as it was a recommended watch. I think Netflix might hate me.
The movie (attempts) to tell the story of a Doctor who is injecting a notorious criminal with a new drug that she hopes will cure him of his homicidal ways. It doesn’t and allows him to enter peoples dreams and them to kill themselves.
Yeah…screw that shit.
Don’t watch this, even if you’ve got the biggest crush on Elizabeth Hurley… Don’t watch it.
This movie is so crappy that I can’t even find a trailer for it.
Hardware (1990) – Interesting
I watched 1990’s Hardware back in 1990 and remember it being a weird but interesting sci-fi film with cool music. After re-watching it today, I can safely say my memories of this movie holds up.
Dylan McDermott stars as Moses Baxter, a Space Marine who’s returned from action and picks up some scrap electronics and metal for his artist girlfriend, Jill (played by Stacey Travis) to incorporate in her work. Little do either of them know that included in the pile of scrap is the functioning head of an experimental killer military robot hell bent on destroying everything around it.
Late at night, the head, starts reassembling itself into a killer robot, armed with tools from Jill’s studio. It’s final form is a crazy. deadly, concoction of wires, steel and saw… and violence. Ad to the mix a creepy neighbour that spies on Jill… and falls victim to the robot as well as some secondary characters played by some familiar faces – look for Iggy Pop and Lemmy Killminster, among others, make this film more interesting than one might expect. This is a simple, weird film that has a dated look to it, but carries a coolness. The music is a combination of late 80’s/early 90’s hardcore/metal and back in the day, I kinda’ though the movie was made in order to expose the music – I’m still not convinced this isn’t at least partially true.
It’s all a sort of world has gone to hell and the machines are rising up against us sort of movie and is very confusing, but I still found it interesting. I can easily say that I’ve never seen another movie like it. If you haven’t seen it, or like me haven’t seen it for a long time, then I suggest checking it out.