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Return To Nuke’em High Volume 1 (2013) – If You Like Troma Then You Know Why I Like This – Also: Bonus Q & A With Lloyd Kaufman

returntonukeemOkay, barely a review and much more a gushing over Lloyd Kaufman Me looking like a dork posing with Llod Kaufman at the Calgary Horror conand Troma… and the Calgary Horror Convention. Actually had a chance to watch this Troma film in a theatre and with the added bonus of being in the presence of the great Lloyd Kaufman, Co-creator of Troma films and the legendary Toxic Avenger. Lloyd was great, the film was fun and I just ramble on and on and on. There is some bonus clips from the question and answer with Lloyd Kaufman at the end of the video. Hope you all enjoy!

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Something Evil (1972) – Did They Mean Something Crappy? Ah, But I still Had To Watch…

So, I went searching for a movie that scared the hell out of me as a very young child. All I had were vague fragments of memories: a baby crying, an evil goop in a big jar and a design on a floor. I found what I was looking for, but maybe I was better off before I searched!

Watch my semi-review of 1972’s Something Evil:


A Rant About Movie Distributors And Their Youtube Policies

After having several of my video reviews altered or taken down for showing a trailer during these reviews. I am completely pissed off, as I believe I am trying to get people to go out and watch these movies – to buy DVDs and Blu-Rays. I would think that this would be a good thing If my business was to distribute these movies…

Anyway, watch the video and let me know what you think, and don’t worry – there will be a new movie review very shortly.


Shaky Cam Week–Found Footage Movies

So, we’ve decided to do a week of found/lost footage movies (i.e. “Shaky Cam”). You know what those are? Movies that are supposed to look like they were recorded on handheld devices, like The Blair Witch Project. There are quite a few, but just a tiny few worth watching. Hopefully we’ll see a couple that you would like to watch…

Keep your eyes on the site!!!


Night Of The Living Dead: Resurrection (2012)–You Know What? Maybe It’s Time For Amateurs To Leave Night Of The Living Dead Alone

MV5BMjEyNTc2NDg5NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzA5MDExNw@@._V1_SX214_Okay, so there’s a Zombie outbreak, a family is stuck in their home, a group of tough ass hole teens are also causing issues and there is no happy ending.

Well you know enough about this movie now. Don’t bother wasting your time on this long winded, waste of time movie that uses the Night of the Living Dead namesake. It’s just plain boring. I really think that if you are going to butcher a movie, butcher your own movie and leave Night of the Living Dead out of it. Make up a new Zombie Movie name of your own and go with it… Ah,right, but why would anyone watch it? So, why not tack on a title of an iconic movie and hope to snag unsuspecting horror fans…

Screw you folks – you suck at making movies.


Free Ride (2013)–This Has To Be The Most Boring Movie About Drug Trafficking Ever

Free_Ride_film2013’s Free Ride stars Anna Paquin and is based on a true story as a mom in the 1970’s that escapes an abusive relationship with her kids and heads to Florida. Once there she starts working for a major pot importer whom she meets through a friend. She is raising two daughters and not doing a particular job about that. Stuff happens, people get hurt/go to jail etc…

Okay, the acting isn’t bad in this film, but the story is freakin’ boring. Coming in at only an hour and twenty-six minutes, it felt like a damned eternity. You know, just because you have a story to tell, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should, We learn that the story/movie is written by one of the daughters… Next time stick to your diary, as this is a waste of time.

Check out the trailer below, but don’t be fooled by it as it’s all smoke and mirrors – the trailer is all you really need.


Smiley (2012)–One of The Crappiest Slashers I’ve Seen In A Long Time

smileyYeah, so I watched 2012’s Smiley last night.

It’s a piece of crap with a stupid plot, a stupid attempt at a “twist”… and I’m sure some freakin’ hipster will defend it as the direction of the new “Artcore” movement.

Just because you call a piece of crap a rose, doesn’t make it a rose.

So, a girl starts college, and her partying new dorm mate invites her to a party. Once there she’s introduced to “Smiley” – You get in an Internet chat room with someone, and while you are there, you type “I did it for the lulz” three times, and magically a distorted smiley face character comes out of know where and kills the person on the other side of the chat window. Not a terrible idea for a horror movie, but unfortunately, it is a terrible horror movie. I’m not even 100% sure where it went off the track, but it was one of those movies where you just end up waiting for it to end.

Don’t bother with this piece of crap folks… Unless you are the hipster that is going to email me about “Artcore” = and if you are, spare yourself and me the time and don’t bother formulating that email.

Screw the trailer, as this movie doesn’t deserve the posting of a trailer here.