The Site For B-Movie Lovers

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Shaky Cam Week–Found Footage Movies

So, we’ve decided to do a week of found/lost footage movies (i.e. “Shaky Cam”). You know what those are? Movies that are supposed to look like they were recorded on handheld devices, like The Blair Witch Project. There are quite a few, but just a tiny few worth watching. Hopefully we’ll see a couple that you would like to watch…

Keep your eyes on the site!!!


Night Of The Living Dead: Resurrection (2012)–You Know What? Maybe It’s Time For Amateurs To Leave Night Of The Living Dead Alone

MV5BMjEyNTc2NDg5NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzA5MDExNw@@._V1_SX214_Okay, so there’s a Zombie outbreak, a family is stuck in their home, a group of tough ass hole teens are also causing issues and there is no happy ending.

Well you know enough about this movie now. Don’t bother wasting your time on this long winded, waste of time movie that uses the Night of the Living Dead namesake. It’s just plain boring. I really think that if you are going to butcher a movie, butcher your own movie and leave Night of the Living Dead out of it. Make up a new Zombie Movie name of your own and go with it… Ah,right, but why would anyone watch it? So, why not tack on a title of an iconic movie and hope to snag unsuspecting horror fans…

Screw you folks – you suck at making movies.


Free Ride (2013)–This Has To Be The Most Boring Movie About Drug Trafficking Ever

Free_Ride_film2013’s Free Ride stars Anna Paquin and is based on a true story as a mom in the 1970’s that escapes an abusive relationship with her kids and heads to Florida. Once there she starts working for a major pot importer whom she meets through a friend. She is raising two daughters and not doing a particular job about that. Stuff happens, people get hurt/go to jail etc…

Okay, the acting isn’t bad in this film, but the story is freakin’ boring. Coming in at only an hour and twenty-six minutes, it felt like a damned eternity. You know, just because you have a story to tell, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should, We learn that the story/movie is written by one of the daughters… Next time stick to your diary, as this is a waste of time.

Check out the trailer below, but don’t be fooled by it as it’s all smoke and mirrors – the trailer is all you really need.


Smiley (2012)–One of The Crappiest Slashers I’ve Seen In A Long Time

smileyYeah, so I watched 2012’s Smiley last night.

It’s a piece of crap with a stupid plot, a stupid attempt at a “twist”… and I’m sure some freakin’ hipster will defend it as the direction of the new “Artcore” movement.

Just because you call a piece of crap a rose, doesn’t make it a rose.

So, a girl starts college, and her partying new dorm mate invites her to a party. Once there she’s introduced to “Smiley” – You get in an Internet chat room with someone, and while you are there, you type “I did it for the lulz” three times, and magically a distorted smiley face character comes out of know where and kills the person on the other side of the chat window. Not a terrible idea for a horror movie, but unfortunately, it is a terrible horror movie. I’m not even 100% sure where it went off the track, but it was one of those movies where you just end up waiting for it to end.

Don’t bother with this piece of crap folks… Unless you are the hipster that is going to email me about “Artcore” = and if you are, spare yourself and me the time and don’t bother formulating that email.

Screw the trailer, as this movie doesn’t deserve the posting of a trailer here.


The Horror at 37,000 Feet

HorrorWow… It’s been so long since that I watched this movie, that I had completely forgot that I saw this movie. Not that I was missing much, bet yeah, I’ve seen this when I was a pretty young kid. Some things are best left in the past… Hehehe.

The Horror at 37,000 Feet is a made for TV horror film staring Chuck Connors, Buddy Ebsen and William Shatner that takes place on a 747 airliner…at apparently 37,000 feet. There’s a Druid stone on the plane (being moved from England to the U.S. to be part of a private bar of a successful architect. It’s the solstice, the ancient Druid god’s are angry and demanding a sacrifice.
So, the movie is pretty weak, as one might expect for a made for TV movie of this time (1973), and I doubt many would like it. I enjoyed it mostly due to the memories it brought back and my weird love of crappy movies. If you want to relive some TV memories from the 70’s or also like cheezy bad movies, then I say go for it… If you don’t fit this mould, just walk away and don’t look back.
Trivia: Paul Winfield also stars in this movie – William Shatner and Paul Winfield would later go on to be in Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan nine years later in 1982.

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Films That Were Hated By Their Stars – IMDb

Not sure what search got me to this link on the Internet Movie Database (IMDB), but I got there nonetheless. Here is an interesting list of movies that were hated by their star.

Poll: Films their stars disliked – IMDb – IMDb.


Star Trek Movie v – The Final Frontier (1989) – The Search for God and The Circling of The Drain

The_Final_FrontierHere we go: My least favourite favourite Star Trek movie, and Shatner’s Star Trek directorial and writing debut. What a freakin’ turkey.

So, there’s report of trouble on a planet that is a social experiment with the Federation,Klingons and the Romulans – they are trying to find out if we can all live happily together. Some charismatic cult leader has taken over the place and the only folks who are close enough to do anything about it…are the the crew of the Enterprise. They show up and are quickly captured. Some are sort of hypnotized to follow their leader – a Vulcan by the name of Sybok, (played by Laurence Luckinbill), Spock’s half-brother, who is offering freedom from fear and pain, and on mission to the center of the Galaxy – to see the face of…I dunno’… GOD? Yeah, and there is a Klingon Captain that wants to make his points by killing the infamous Kirk. Oh… I can’t continue.

UGH!!! I really disliked this freakin’ movie. Go ahead an watch it if you need to. I liked this movie more when I first watched it, but really didn’t like it much then. I don’t need my Sci-Fi heroes looking for God, and Shatner is NOT A GOOD WRITER/DIRECTOR. I like William Shatner a lot and this should be his “Popeye.”

Here is the trailer for this terrible Trek movie:


The Star Trek Movies–My Next Project

Hello hello hello!

1So, after recently re-watching the second movie of the Star Trek reboot, Star Trek – Into Darkness, I have decided to revisit the Star Trek Movie Franchise and with up the experience. If you are a fan of the Star Trek universe, and are actually honest to yourself, then you know that there are many bad movies in this series (and of course a few good ones, also).

I am going to review (or whatever we call what I do here on this site) at least the first Trek films (the original series films), and perhaps film seven, Generations as it combines (poorly) The Original Series and The Next Generation. Who knows: I may continue through the entire catalogue of Trek Films… Time will tell.

I am a huge fan of Star Trek, but I am very aware that some of these films are real turkeys, but I am also of the opinion some are not just good Star Trek movies, but good Sci-Fi movies in general. I will try to be fair2 – I hope you enjoy – Keep watching!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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From Dusk Till Dawn (1996)–I Used To Hate This Movie–I was Wrong

fromdusktilldawnI watched this movie in the theatre back in ‘96 when it first came out and I remember just hating this movie. Hell, for years I would tell people just how bad I thought this movie was. Yep, I couldn’t stand it. I re-watched it last night and realize I was wrong to hate it – This is a great movie.

Essentially a Vampire movie, with a lot of little twists and turns, From Dusk Till Dawn has a great cast. Starring George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino as two brothers, Seth and Richard Gecko, on the lam and heading for Mexico after Richard broke Seth out of jail, and left a trail of bodies in their wake. Harvey Keitel stars as Jacob Fuller, a Pastor that has lost his faith after the death of his beloved wife. Juliette Lewis and Ernest Liu play his children, Kate and Scott Fuller. The Fuller’s are on a vacation, driving in their motorhome, when they are commandeered by the Gecko Brothers and forced to smuggle them into Mexico, where the Gecko’s are preparing to start a new life away from the authorities, after meeting up with a contact at a pre-arranged meeting place: a raucous bar named the Titty Twister.

Once at the bar, Seth starts things off on a negative note by beating the crap out of the doorman/shouter (played by Cheech Marin). Once inside, things continue on a negative, when the bartender (played by Danny Trejo) refuses to serve the group, saying that this bar is for Bikers and Truckers only. Jacob sets things “right” by using a little logic. Things seem to be going swimmingly when the doorman confronts Seth and Richard. A fight breaks out, Seth and Richard shoot a few guys… Richard’s hand, shot in the first scene of the movie starts dripping blood, which starts a chain reaction… You see, this bar is a major Vampire hang out and he just started a feeding frenzy. The always beautiful Selma Hayek, playing the super sexy Santanico Pandemonium is the first to attack. Before I go on, let me stress just how hot Selma Hayek looks in this move. I know she always looks hot, but MAN does she look good in this movie. Okay, I digressed… All of a sudden it looks like a Vampire apocalypse. A shit load of folks get killed, but the humans star turning the tide. Seth confronts Jacob, making him decide on which side of belief he’s gonna’ sit, and they hatch a plan. Time to fight Vamps or die.

This movie is an action packed, rollercoaster ride adventure. Combining Tarantino’s writing and Robert Rodriguez was sheer brilliance. The characters are interesting (Tarantino’s Richard is absolutely crazy – a loathsome animal of a man), and there isn’t a dull moment. Oh, and Cheech Marin (of Cheech and Chong fame) plays not one but three separate characters.

Watch this movie.

Here is the trailer:


The Dead Mile (2013)–Flawed But Very Fun Independent Zombie Film… And It’s Canadian!

DeadmileSo, I just watched a Zombie movie that was filmed in my home city of Calgary, Alberta, Canada. It was a low budget film, and it lacked polish and there was some questionable performances. You know what? Who cares – this was a fun, silly Zombie film.

The Dead Mile is a truly Canadian movie that combines hockey, a Zombie Walk and real Zombies to create an end of society, Zombie outbreak movie that delivers on the fun and the gore. A group of friends are preparing for an annual Zombie Walk when an actual, cow transmitted Zombie virus hits the city. The Zombie Walk participants are actually turning into Zombies, and our little group of friends need to find a way to survive. One of our characters, Tyler, works for a dick, Kevin Wong, who owns a comic shop, who is hosting a a signing event for a couple of horror stars to coincide with the Zombie Walk. Well these two get wrapped up in the whole Zombie outbreak and join forces with Kevin and his friends. They are soon joined by two simple, hockey obsessed guys, who suggest they make a break for the hockey/ice rink – a fortress according to them. Of course, like in all Zombie films, the fortress is never quite as… fortressy (yes, I know that’s not a real word – but it’s my blog so nananana-boo-boo), as they hope. One by one the group is diminished as members fall prey to the Zombie hordes. You know, like in a Zombie movie.

This movie is low budget and flawed, but really, who cares: most Zombie movies are. At least this movie delivers on the humour, and for a low budget film, it manages to look pretty good (and thank you for not finding it necessary to make the film look grungy and 70’s like – that works when for 70’s films only – you deserve kudos for not doing that). They also deliver on the gore, like a true Zombie movie should. I say this is worth a watch, especially if you are Canadian, and even more so if you are from Calgary. The movie’s writer/Director , K.J. Kleefeld and his crew did an admirable job. The film it self is available to rent online at https://vimeo.com/ondemand/thedeadmile for $4.99 – I though it was a little steep for a rental of an independent film, but I said “What the Hell,” I’m supporting a small film maker” (who just happens to be local – GO CANADA!!!). Check out the trailer below, and then go spend $4.99, you cheap bastard, and help some independent film makers.


The Keep (1983)–Should Have Kept Hidden

Keepposter1983’s The Keep is a long winded, confusing crappy storry about Nazi’s that release some ancient evil from a “Keep.:

Yeah, this is an ambitious tale, staring the usually amazing Sir Ian McKellen (actually, he’s the only strong part of this film)  and a handful of others that I won’t even bother looking up.  I couldn’t even pay attention, and I had NO distractions. If you read this blog even semi regularly, you know that it doesn’t take much for me to find something to like in a movie. I mean, lots of crappy 80’s synthesizer music, dry ice fog and Nazis and Demons…Should be good enough but it wasn’t.

Don’t bother with this one folks. And to think I almost bought the Blu-Ray!


Rebooting Remake Week

Hi Folks;

Well remake week didn’t go as well as planned when I was distracted after two movies – Well, I plan on putting up 7 remakes (including the two already posted), though maybe not all in a row.

One reason why they may not be in a row is for example the THING from 1982 – my buddy that watched these movies wants to watch the prequel that came out in 2011 first – no problem, but that delays that viewing by at least a day – gonna’ try to get him to watch that prequel tonight so we can go onto the remake.

So, sorry for not powering through 7 days of remakes, but they are coming… starting now!