The Site For B-Movie Lovers

Posts tagged “2012

The Bay (2012) – What’s the Matter, Parasite Got Your Tongue?

2012’s The Bay is an environmental horror film with one message: stop polluting the water.

Chesapeake Bay, New England has a water pollution problem that the mayor is ignoring. The town’s chicken processing plant is dumping raw sewage into the bay and that is directly affecting the ecosystem of the bay0 Huge die offs of fish is the first sign that something’s wrong. A team of two divers working for environmental agencies are documenting what they find in the bay. On land, a college reporter, in town to document t he town’s summer festivities gets caught up in the story being one of the only news reporters in town when it gets quarantined.

This town is falling apart fast – It’s eventually determined that what is affecting everyone and everything is a parasite that is growing at an alarmingly fast rate due to the waste that’s been dumped into the bay. People are dying horrible deaths, eaten from the inside out.

Shot as a documentary made up of reports and self shot videos as well as some lost footage, the Bay stays interesting if not amazing. I watched it on the suggestion of a friend, and despite some really bad reviews on the Internet Movie Database, I enjoyed it for the most part.

Worth a watch? Well, it wasn’t terrible but you decide for yourself.

Check out the trailer below:


Grabbers (2012) – Stay Drunk, Stay Safe and Most Importantly Stay Irish

Well, this was a pleasant surprise!

Grabbers is a 2012 Irish Sci-fi horror film that comes out of no where and leaves you wondering why you never heard of this film before. I’m serious: I really like this film.

What’s it all about? Lisa Nolan, a police officer from the city takes a temporary assignment as a police officer in a small fishing village on an Irish island. There she is teamed up with a drunk of a cop that spends his time in an alcoholic haze while fighting crime that just doesn’t exist. Shortly after her arrival, an alien streaks to earth like a meteorite and crashes into the sea nearby. The alien, obviously hungry after it’s trip through space, starts off by devouring the crew of a fishing vessel that saw the crash and had gone to investigate. Eventually (well, pretty quickly actually) the creature (or creatures) end up on the island itself when a fisherman traps one in a lobster trap. Thinking he’s going to be rich, he takes it home with him. Eventually it turn on him and he has to kill it (kinda’). Taking the …corpse to a local scientist, it’s discovered that it’s like no other creature ever recorded. Like a cross between an octopus, a squid, a lamprey and a monster from an old pulp sci-fi story from the 50s, this thing is hungry, aggressive and reproductive. Oh, and add a taste for blood, yes there you have the monster. This thing kills quickly and without mercy. It has one downfall: it can’t handle alcohol in the blood of it’s victims. Basically it’s allergic to the stuff. The cops, one of whom is conveniently a raging alcoholic, have to keep the town drunk for about 24 hours while they wait for help from the coast guard and or military (it’s an island, remember?).

Watch it. Watch it watch it watch it.

Here’s the trailer:


John Dies at the End (2012) – A Wild Wacky Movie That Barely Makes Sense That You Should See

imageJohn Dies At The End is a weird tale of a couple of drop outs, exposed to a weird drug that allows them to see into another dimension and leaves them as protectors of our world from a possible invasion for that said dimension.

A movie by Don Coscarelli, the man who brought us the masterpieces Bubba Ho-Tep and the Phantasm series (amongst other films) has created a stylish, surrealistic weird movie that kept me confused and riveted at the same time. A couple of dope smoking, drinking roommates, Dave and John attend a big party where they meet Robert Marley who introduces them to a new drug with the weirdest of properties: a lone with distorting time, it also allows you to see into other dimensions and the evil that lives there. The drug also blurs the line between life and death. In fact, there are several times when it is not obvious if the characters on screen are alive or something…else. Throw in a police officer who has also seen a glimpse into this world and is doing his best to removea any trace of it, by any means possible. The story itself is told as a flashback while Dave relates the story to a reporter, Arnie Blondestone (played by Paul Giamatti).

This is really a hard movie to describe because it’s really not like anything I’ve seen before. All I can really say is that if you have an open mind for weird (but good) movies, then you really should see this film.

Check out the trailer below:


Silent Night (2012) – Santa’s Progressed From Coal to Mass Murder

imageI can’t say if 2012’s remake of 1984’s Silent Night, Deadly Night is better than the  original because I’ve never seen it, but I will say that it beat my (admittedly low) expectations, and that is a good thing. 

Christmas horror films are awesome in concept due to the fact that it’s supposed to be a time of peace and hope, and not killings and horror. This film delivers enough of both to stay interesting. 

So, it’s Christmas, and bad folks are being wiped out left and right in a sleepy little town.Police officer Aubrey Bradimore has been called into work on Christmas as a fellow officer has not shown up for work. Her first call is to deal with a sarchastic fake Santa that is depressing local kids by delivering somber and realistic Christmas messages. That guy’s an ass, but there is not much she can do about him – he’s got a permit.

Bradimore is called to another location as there is a report of a terrible smell emanating from a home. Upon entry she finds a nightmare of a scene, and discovers that her fellow officer was killed in a horrific, Christmas lite related murder, as well as his lover having been dismembered. Then things get bad. The police force, headed by an incompetent Sheriff James Cooper (played well by Malcolm McDowell) tries to mobilize and stop the Santa Clause disguised serial killer in there midst. Well, it turns out that there is more than one bad Santa amongst the crowds, making finding the actual murderer just that much harder.

This movie is not great by any means, but it is good enough to be entertaining.  There are some great death scenes and enough gore to be interesting, and surprise, surprise, the acting isn’t half bad. Although the Santa is evil, he is mostly killing other bad people, so in some cases you don’t really feel for his victims, and that is a neat twist. If you like cheezy horror, and are in a holiday mood, then check this one out. Because of this remake, I think I may be watching the original next.

Here is the trailer:


Safety Not Guaranteed (2012) – Hipsters, Don’t Make Any More Movies Because You Suck At It

Did you ever see the clip from Craigslist that is an invite from someone claiming to have perfected time travel and is looking for someone to come along for the ride (but they have to bring their own weapons and would be paid upon return)? Well someone made a shitty movie about it.

2012’s Safety Not Guaranteed is about some people from a magazine that decide to investigate this add. And along the way investigate themselves, their feelings and relationships.

This is shit – no time travel and no entertainment. This is a Hipster experiment gone wrong.

Hipsters: give your grandparents their clothes back, get a freakin’ hair cut, take some fucking prozak and stop making movies – you’re no good at it.

Don’t watch this shitty movie.


Act of Valor (2012) – Wow – Way Better Than I Expected

Act of Valor (2012) was a movie that got a bit more press than it might have normaly got due to the fact that the movie used real Navy Seals. This is a good action film – not a great film, but a good action movie.

So, the Seals are used to extract a kidnapped female operative that had been posing as a doctor, helping poor kids in Mexico. Add to this the fact that the kidnappers are working with a Georgian (in Russia, not the Southern U.S.) Terrorist who plans on having 16 suicide bombers detonate themselves in 16 different locations in the U.S., using high tech, undetectable suicide vests, thereby plunging the U.S. economy into chaos.

Well filmed, and action packed, I really enjoyed this film. THere are no award winning performances, and there wasn’t any particular character that I liked or particularly hated – but this film didn’t need that. It had a good balance of explosions and gunshots and plotting. Sure, it’s a bit of U.S. flag waving (and I am not an Amaerica), but that said, this is a great “guy’s movie.”

So, in short, if you want to watch a good, military action film, check out Act of Valor.

Check out the trailer here:


Strippers Vs. Werewolves (2012) – Way Better Than I Expected

Okay… Now I expected Strippers Vs.Werewolves to be bad, really bad. I really didn’t expect much at all from this film. Man was I wrong: this was a really fun film.

Lets see… Werewolves and other creatures of the night exist, and one gets killed by a stripper when she gets scare while performing a private dance for him and stabs him in the eye socket with a silver pen. The club owner, who has experience with werewolves, hatches a plan to get rid of the body.

Meanwhile, back at werewolf headquarters, they are starting to miss their now dead werewolf friend and start hunting for him. 

About this time, we find out that the stripper who killed the werewolf is engaged to be married to one of the werewolves, though she doesn’t know he’s a werewolf. Funny thing: he doesn’t know that she’s a stripper and is the one that killed the member of his pack.

So, the werewolves leave a trail of death on their search for the killer of their brother, while the strippers prepare for the inevitable werewolf onslaught.

Stylishly filmed, and the actors actually act. There are a few familiar faces (Hey Guy Ritchie – did you try to make a horror film?). Now, I’m not saying this film deserves any awards, and to be honest it is a little too long for the amount of actual story. It’s low budget, and for a werewolf film, you never see a transformation from man to wolf – just one moment you see the human face, then the next moment they’re a werewolf. Also, Robert Eglund gets top billing but does sweet f#$% all in this film – he’s a ruse to get people to watch (I hate when film makers pull that kind of crap). That said, it’s a fun action packed, silly film that deserves to be watched.

Here’s the trailer:


Bad Ass (2012) – A Movie Based on a 3 Minute Youtube Clip That Danny Trejo Manages to Pull Off

Anyone remember that clip that Youtube a year or so ago where the old guy kicks the ass of an asshole on a bus, leaving the asshole asking for an “Amberlamps”? This movie is loosely (very loosely) based on that. Still, Danny Trejo makes it worth watching.

Trejo’s character, a seven year Vietnam veteran that was never able to fully transition back in to society, has passed the years in relative obscurity, working his hotdog stand for years while life passed him by. That all changed one day when he reluctantly kicks the ass of a couple of skin heads on a bus that are picking on an elderly black gentleman. Trejo’s act is caught on cellphone video and uploaded to the net where he becomes an instant Internet star when the video goes viral. A few more similar incidents like this manages to cement his reputation as “Bad Ass”

When Trejo’s buddy gets killed and the police don’t seem to be putting any effort into finding the killer, Trejo take the cause into his own hands. His investigation leads to a lot of bad guys getting their asses kicked (or worse), and right to the corrupt mayor.

This is a cheezy, low budget movie with a very tenuous plot…but I freakin’ loved it. A real grindhouse feel (without the fake dirty film effect), I have to recommend this movie if you came to the site because you like low budget wonders.

I say watch it.

Here’s the trailer:

And here’s a link to the original clip that inspired it: