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Switchblade Sisters (1975)–Gloriously Terrible

switchbladesisters1975’s Switchblade Sisters (a.k.a. “Maggie’s Stiletto Sisters) is a mid-1970’s exploitation flick on steroids.

Telling the story of a female gang, know as the Dagger Debs (a sub gang made of the girl friends of The Daggers, and all male gang), run by tough chick Lace (played by Robbie Lee) who rules her gang through fear. Soon a small time confrontation in a diner ends with a new member of the gang, Maggie, who impressed Lace with her whip like skills and lack of fear.Lace and Maggie grow closer, which get’s fellow gang member, Patch (played by Monica Gayle), jealous as Maggie seems to be displacing her as Lace’s right hand girl. At the same time, Dominic (played by Asher Brauner), leader of the Daggers and Lace’s man takes a fancy to Maggie, forcing himself on her in her home one night. Seeing an opportunity, Patch starts laying the seeds of dissent by planting the idea that Maggie is actually after Dominic.

After a raid on a rival gang at a roller rink goes bad, and Dominic is killed, and Lace ends up in the hospital, Maggie decides that the remaining Daggers are just too weak to follow, she brings the girls to a “Black” neighbourhood and meets up with some militaristic woman gang members whom they team up with to take out that rival gang. Successfully destroying the rivals, now a conflict breaks out between Lace and Maggie. Believing Maggie is trying to usurp her as leader, and that she was trying to take Dominic (before he died of course), Maggie and Lace engage in a switchblade fight…

Okay, enough… I actually had fun watching this terrible movie. There are very few redeeming qualities to this film, or even this genre of film, but it is damn fun. The incredible cheeziness of the script, acting and overall concept makes this an almost must watch!

Check out the trailer below and make your own decision.

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Tank Girl (1995)–Tank Girl, You Rock My Movie Watching World

Tank_girl_posterOh my… why has it taken so long for me to watch Tank Girl?

So, I remember when this movie first came out back in the day and thinking “that looks like crap” and never bothering to watch it. Well this week my movie watching buddy suggested we watch it, and while not totally enthused, I agreed. I’m glad I did.

Tank Girl is a 1995 post apocalypse Sci-Fi movie based on a comic of the same name. Taking place in the year 2033, 11 years after a comet hit the Earth devastating the environment. One large, evil company, Water and Power (WP) controls the World’s water supply. They are run by the equally evil Kesslee (played very well by Malcolm McDowell. Rebecca, (Tank Girl, played by Lori Petty) is a crazy ass resistance member that survive off of water they extract themselves – something very much against WP’s company policy. In a raid, most of Tank Girl’s compatriots are killed, while her young friend, Sam (Stacy Linn Ramsower), is captured. After managing on killing a good number of WP’s men, Tank Girl is also taken into captivity. Impressed by her ability to kill so many of his top men, Kesslee offer’s her a job. Refusing, Kesslee put her through a series of tortures in order to break her will… Good luck with that.

When not being tortured, she is forced to work gruelling shifts for WP. There she meets Jet Girl (played by Naomi Watts), a girl with talent, butt very timid. They get to know each other when Tank Girl saves Jet Girl from the advances of a guard. Eventually Tank Girl escapes (with a tank – go figure), and goes off to look for her friend Sam (now forced into servitude at a brothel). Along the way she meets he Rippers – mutant humanoids (and something else – watch the movie to figure that out) that fight WP at every step. Eventually Tank Girl gains the trust of the Rippers (who are actually quite civilized in their own way), and she and the Rippers take on WP. Pretty vague description… but that is on purpose.

Tank Girl successfully combines action, Science Fiction and comedy all together into a goulash  of awesomeness that I completely did not expect. This movie had my attention from the beginning, and while completely weird, is also completely awesome. I heartily suggest you watch this crazy movie.

Check out the trailer below:


Cheerleader Ninjas (2002)–And This Is a Movie Too

CheerleaderninjasOh Man… Watch Cheer Leader Ninjas… or perhaps, don’t.
I did and laughed a lot, though it is really very stupid. This is pretty close the lowest level of a movie, quality wise (in all areas) that I still found funny enough to not be a complete waste of my time. That’s right: it was a waste of time, just not a waste of all my time. Catholic school bad girls versus cheerleaders, a bunch of nerds and some plot of a computer virus turning people into Internet zombies… I think. Lot’s of tits and ass girls fighting girls. Totally base humour of the lowest kind, and I feel guilty admitting I laughed here and there. In some ways this movie reminded me of something Troma might have created, though I don’t think there is any link between the Troma and this film other than it’s an oddball movie, and Troma is known for oddball movies. I’m not convinced that a lot of this movie wasn’t filmed at or around some sort of school like institution, and really: way too many fart jokes (any are usually too many). But to be honest, if you can appreciate a movie for how utterly silly it is, then you too, on some weird animal part of your psyche might garner some level of entertainment from this stupid movie. Uh.. I’ve seen worse.

Here is the trailer… You decide from there:


Pink Flamingos (1972) – Don’t Watch This Movie Unless You Know What You Are Getting Into

I watched John Water’s 1972 film, Pink Flamingos last night for the first, and what will be the last time. 

Pink Flamingos is the tale of Divine (the transvestite that became mainstream big in the 1980s with her hit song “You Think You’re a Man”), as an up and coming underground star, recently named “The Filthiest Person Alive by some tabloid style paper. This has enraged bizarro couple, Connie and Raymond Marble, who believe they are the filthiest people alive. With there business of kidnapping young women, impregnating them and selling the babies to lesbian couples, and many other deviant actions, they might have a point. They try to make it a point to destroy Divine and take her crown. Divine fights back and gets her own revenge.

Divine is living in a pink and blue trailer (with two pink flamingos out front) with her mentally challenged mother (who spends her days in a playpen asking for eggs and the egg man), her deviant son and travelling companion, Cotton. The Marble’s send a spy, a woman, to get information – this leads to a weird/sickening rape scene involving live chickens… ugh!

So, I really can’t say too much about this film, except warn you: You will see real chickens killed, you will see Divine actually take a shit and wipe herself, you will see Divine actually giving head to a guy (Divine is actually male folks)… You will see a lot. The actual last scene of the movie (if you make it there) shows Divine REALLY eating shit right from a dog’s ass. 

For those that don’t know who John Waters is, he’s an avant-garde film make with a penchant for extreme weirdness and trans-gender individuals. This film is a self described exercise in bad taste. I believe it was made just to test the boundaries of what an “artist” could get away with in 1972, the year that hard core porn was legalized in much of the United States (or so I heard somewhere). Well, it does that.

You’ve been warned, you decide if you need to see this film.

Here is the trailer that was run at the time: