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Return To Nuke’em High Volume 1 (2013) – If You Like Troma Then You Know Why I Like This – Also: Bonus Q & A With Lloyd Kaufman

returntonukeemOkay, barely a review and much more a gushing over Lloyd Kaufman Me looking like a dork posing with Llod Kaufman at the Calgary Horror conand Troma… and the Calgary Horror Convention. Actually had a chance to watch this Troma film in a theatre and with the added bonus of being in the presence of the great Lloyd Kaufman, Co-creator of Troma films and the legendary Toxic Avenger. Lloyd was great, the film was fun and I just ramble on and on and on. There is some bonus clips from the question and answer with Lloyd Kaufman at the end of the video. Hope you all enjoy!


Society (1989)–Do You Get The Feeling That The Rich Are Not Like The Rest Of Us?

SocietyWow… Wowwowwowwow. Wow

This was a weird one, and I am so surprised that I never watched this before now.

Wow.

1989’s Society is an interesting film that tells the story of Bill Whitney (played by Billy Warlock), a 17 year old California High School student who is tone of two children of the very well off Whitney family. He has a cute sister, Jenny  who is just a little older than he is, a cheerleader girlfriend and is popular at school. Why isn’t Bill happy?

Bill has had the feeling that he doesn’t belong. He doesn’t look like the rest of his family. They don’t communicate with him, other than idle chit chat, and recently he thinks he’s noticed  some weird, seemingly impossible physical differences between himself and his family. His psychiatrist (oh yeah, he’s seeing a psychiatrist), Dr. Cleveland tells him he’s being paranoid and that he has to learn to fit in and accept his place in… society.

When a friend (and sister’s ex-boyfriend), David Blanchard, tries to let Bill know that things are not what they seem with his family, Bill rejects the idea out of hand. Eventually David gets Bill to listen to a secret recording David took of Jenny’s coming out party that seems to indicate that it was a family approved orgy, and that his parents really are keeping things from him. Providing his psychiatrist with a copy of the tape to prove that he isn’t paranoid, and that there are weird things going on in his family does nothing, when Dr. Cleveland plays it back and it’s a completely different, tame recording on the tape. What’s going on?

Bill starts raising hell and finds himself in some very weird and dangerous hot water. Eventually the truth is revealed to Bill, by Dr. Cleveland: The rich are a separate species from normal humans, and have been feeding off of us poor for as long as people have been around. In a glorious scene of crazy gross special effects, we get to see an orgy on eating and the weirdest transformations I have seen on film.

This movie has a lot going for it and I definitely suggest you watch it, though I will warn you that it is really quite gross. The acting isn’t the best but it definitely isn’t close to the worse either. I liked this film a lot and hope you will also.

Check out the trailer here:


Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) – Yes It’s Cheezy, Yes It’s Dumb and Yes I liked It

Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) got her start on a TV station, introducing campy horror movies on a late night TV show. Dressed as a sexy, large breasted raven haired sex-vamp, she rose to the top of Pop culture in the 1980s and 1990s and her posters covered countless walls of teenage boys lusting after that fantastic figure (especially those boobs…especially those boobs).

Well this is Elvira’s movie. It tells the story of Elvira, fresh from quitting her TV job and planning on starting a Las Vegas show, but finding herself $70,000 short. Suddenly she gets word that her great Aunt has passed away and she has inherited her estate, a run down house and a “cook book.” Her appearance in this small town creates quite a ruckus, as the town have very strict rules on what is and what is not allowed: no sex and no violence in media… Just a boring little place. Elvira drives the powers to be crazy with her sexy appearance. Trying to make the best of things she gets to work on sprucing up the house with the help of the local youths. At the same time, her Great Uncle is trying to get that cook book of her aunt’s.

Well, it turns out that things in Elvira’s family are not as they seem, and she is part of a magical, ancient family that control the darkness. Her uncle wants the cookbook as is really a book of magic and spells, and possessing it during the upcoming Lunar Eclipse would seal his power as master of the dark. Of course Elvira has to stop this.

So, this is a stupid, silly movie and at times it seems like Elvira is trying to be Rodney Dangerfield with her delivery of her lines. That said, this is good, cheezy fun and I enjoyed every minute of this terrible film. Should you watch it?  Damn straight you should.

Check out the trailer:


Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight (1995) – Comic Book Based Horror That Stays Entertaining

I’m not sure why I hadn’t seen this movie before last night, as I was a fan of the Tales From the Crypt comic book and TV show, and was aware that this movie existed. Oh Well, I watched it, finally.

The story is this: there is a man being chased by Billy Zane who is either a demon or the Devil himself. Zane’s character is trying to get the seventh and final “key” that would release the demons of Hell onto Earth en mass. That key is a bottle that contains blood of certain people (starting with the blood of Christ) that are chosen to keep it, and the world safe from the evil trying to escape hell. The holder of this key/blood bottle is imbued with powers, add the blood itself can be used to destroy and to protect. 

In this movie, the most recent keeper, pursued by Zane’s character holes up in an old church converted to a hotel/hostel. Followed there, the keeper tries to protect a group that really doesn’t understand that they are really in trouble. Eventually, they figure out that the danger is real – especially when Zane punched THROUGH the head of the sheriff.

So, this movie is definitely cheezy. Heck it’s really cheezy. Who cares, though, as this is a really fun horror movie. Not an award winner in any way, shape or form, but fun.

Check out the trailer below:


V/H/S (2012) – Plethora of Point of View Horror Stories Wrapped Up Into One

Well, this was interesting. VHS is a 2012 anthology of Point of View horror (you know, from the camera’s view as one of the characters). It’s one of the “shaky cam” movies that have risen since The Blair Witch Project and Cloverfield (among others). While not an amazing film, it stays entertaining enough not to just be a waste of time.

The gist of the story is a group of thugs that tape themselves doing crime and then post the videos online have been hired to break into an old house and steal a VHS cassette. They are not told what tape, only that they will know it when they see it.

Upon entering the house, they find an apparently deceased old man sitting in a chair in front of a wall of TVs all hooked up to VCRs, all currently displaying static. The guys were told that the tape they were looking for would be found in the basement, so they all head down except for one of them who is instructed to stay in the room with the body. The guy left in the room decides to see what is on the tapes the old guy was watching… and it isn’t good. Each tape is a different tale of horror, be it extra terrestrial, supernatural or just plain humans being evil to humans. One common thing to all the videos: they were all self shot, point of view videos, like these hoods film. Not all of the individual stories are compelling, and the main story (the one about the guys entering the house to collect a tape) could have used some serious fleshing out, but over all the film is entertaining. This type of movie could easily be a total crapfest (and to be honest, that’s what I expected), but it was kept interesting enough for me. As I said at the beginning, this isn’t a great film, but I did find it entertaining and I have no problems suggesting at as a watch.

Check out the trailer below.


Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978) – It’s Because of Movies Like This That This Blog Exists

If you haven’t watched Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (ATKT), and you are a reader of this blog, then you should stop reading now, watch the movie and then come back. I’ll wait here.

Okay, so now you’ve watched this movie, what do you think? Bad? Damn straight. Low budget? Oh hell yeah! Unwatchable? I wouldn’t necessarily say that.

So, 1978’s ATKT is a silly, low budget spoof on the low budget creature features that were being made willy-nilly in the 1970s. It seems like a exercise to see how lame a creature could be and still have people watch the film. I think they succeeded in this.

Basically, the story revolves around a group of scientists who have gathered together to try to come up with a defense against, aggressive, killer mutant tomatoes that have suddenly popped up, killing any human they come into contact with. A crack team is sent to look for chinks in the Tomato defenses – including a lieutenant who is dragging a parachute behind himself continuously (hell, he looks like he landed right out of World War II), And underwater expert who is continuously in a wet suit and a master of disguise who is anything but a master of disguise.

I’m not going to write a lot about this movie other than to say that despite it’s stupidity, and lameness, I liked this silly thing they called a movie. If you like bad movies, then this is a definite must watch… and it has the most awesome theme song.

Add this movie to your collection, folks.

Here is a trailer:


Sugar Hill (1974) – Funky Zombie Action

1974’s Blaxspoitation Zombie Film, Sugar Hill is very unique film. Born og the Grindhouse movement of the 60’s and 70’s, it’s part of a genre known as Blaxsploitation – low budget films, aimed at a black audience staring, cool, tough characters that the audience can get behind.

Sugar Hill is a a tough woman who has vowed to get revenge on the thugs that killed her boyfriend when he refused to pay tribute (or protection money) when they cam to extort it from him. Feeling powerless, Sugar asks the help of a local Voodoo Priestess. The priestess puts Sugar in communication with a figure from the underworld, who puts an army of Zombies at Sugar’s beckoning.

One by one you see the ones that beat Sugar’s man die at the hands of some of the cheeziest looking zombies I have ever seen. I guess they would be ok if it weren’t for the weird silver orbs over their eyes. That being said – this is a way better Zombie movie than I expected it to be. It’s good to see a force of evil (Zombies) used to defeat evil (mobster thugs), and an unusual twist at that. The acting isn’t great, but it is acceptable, and damn it, this is a fun movie. Should you watch it? I dunno… If you like these cheezy movies like I do, then yes.

Here is the trailer:


Waxworks (1988) – Don’t Waste Your Time

Easiest write up of a movie on this blog so far: This movie is crap and doesn’t deserve a write up – IT SUCKS.

It took me two days to get through the damn thing and I hope I never see it again… An I freakin’ like crappy movies!

A bunch of teenagers get invited to a midnight sneak preview at a creepy waxmiseum – only to be drawn into the exhibits and therefore wax figures themselves. Bad acting, bad script and a bad cast… Surprisingly all this adds up to a bad movie.

If you want to see a good movie revolving around a wax museum then watch Vincent Price’s House of Wax.

Here’s the crappy trailer for this crappy movie:


Creepozoids (1987) – Late 1980’s Post Apocalypse Silliness – With Boobs :)

Watched this weird one last night. We’ve been watching a number of film that start 1980’s scream queen Linnea Quiggley after seeing here at the second annual Callgary Horror Convention on September 22, 2012. If you don’t know who she is, watch Return of the Living Dead – she’s the pink haired punk rocker that seems to have issues keeping her clothes on.

This movie is a short one, coming in at just one hour and eight minutes. That’s good, as there really isn’t very much meat to this one. A group of survivors and deserters that are trying to keep away from the mutants and the killing acid rain. They manage to find shelter in an abandoned government compound/lab.  A fortified structure that they can use to keep danger out – only one problem: the danger is already inside with them.

There’s not a lot here, but it’s fun, nonetheless. And if you are a fan of the 1980s horror genre, then go ahead and check this one out if you can find it. It’s not the worst, and 68 minutes,it doesn’t take a lot of time from your life.

Here’s the trailer for this silly film:


Ghosts of Mars (2001) – If You Liked This, You Need to See a Specialist

Once again I have been bored by a movie that had no right to be boring.

Here`s what the movie is about: and excavation on Mars releases a virus (or something like that) that infects people, who them, in effect, become ancient Martians – war like ancient Martians.

Look, all the director would have had to do was add some more fight scenes, explosions (maybe some nudity…maybe), and I would have been fine.

Hell, I like John Carpenter movies…but I don`t like this.

Instead, I got more boring shit. Hell, even adding Icecube to the cast didn`t help.

Don`t watch this shitty movie.

Here`s the shitty trailer for this shitty movie… It`s a shitty trailer:


Not of This Earth (1988) – Horribly Horrible Movie

Oh my god… this was freakin’ painful to watch. 

1988’s Not of This Earth is a horrible remake of the already horrible Sci-Fi Roger Corman film of 1957. Since the original was horrible, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that this film was horrible also… But this horrible? Ugh.

A dying member of a dying alien race is on Earth and has discovered the elixer that can prolong his and races life: Human blood. Using his amazing glowing eyes to take control of the minds of his victims. It looks like he might be unstoppable.

He (the alien) hires a local nurse (played by the sexy Traci Lords) to administer transfusions from legal sources of blood, while at night he supplements with the blood of his victims (mostly hookers).

Aside from some tits and ass shots, this movie really has no redeeming value – even to me, a huge supporter of shitty films. I say don’t freakin’ bother with this shitty film.

Here is the trailer:


Grizzly (1976) – 18 Feet of Gut Wrenching Jaws Ripoff

You know  that saying, so bad it’s good? Well, I think that applies here.

My wife suggested this movie for the blog. She saw at the drive in  with her parents and brother when she was a kid and said it would be perfect for this blog. She was right (as usual).

What is Grizzly? Simply it is Jaws with the woods as the ocean and a gigantic Grizzly bear as the shark. Really. I mean it. Almost scene for scene, this is Jaws with a bear, a lower budget, worse script and no Steven Spielberg.

A giant Grizzy (in an area that’s not supposed to have Grizzlies), starts killing and eating campers like they’re going out of style. A park ranger that cares is trumped by his boss that has his own agenda… you know: like mayor of Amity in Jaws. They send out a bunch of random, drunken hunters to hunt down the bear against the wishes of the park ranger – like the fishermen trying to earn the bounty on the shark… In Jaws. It goes on… hell even the music is similar. Low Budget Land Jaws.

CLAWS!!!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I liked this movie. Sure it’s dumb but that’s exactly what I expected. This was one of many movies made in an attempt to cash in on the hoopla (yes, I said hoopla), that was created by Jaws. The fact that it was a scene for scene attempt at a copy was just a bonus. Should you watch it? Oh HELL yeah. It’s even easy to do, as I just noticed it is on Youtube, though I’m not sure for how long – check out that link below the clip below.

Here’s a few minutes from the movie:


The Doomsday Machine (1972) – Ah, More End of the World Sci-Fi Crap

1972’s The Doomsday Machine… What can I say?

Well, the Chinese have developed a nuclear device that threatens to destroy the world. At the same time, the U.S is poised to launch the first manned probe to Venus. Receiving the news of China’s death machine, the U.S. pushes up the launch date, and at the last moment substitute three attractive women (scientists) for three of the originally planned crew.

Once launched, it is revealed to them all that the reason for the substitution in due to the fact that they just might be the last members of the human race, and therefore would be responsible to keep the species going. 

The movie attempts to touch upon the psychological aspects of such a crew in such a situation. One of the male member loses it and in an attempt to rape one of the women, causes them both to be accidentally jettisoned into space.

Soon they are forced, due to fuel concerns, to face the reality that they may not all survive. Two of the astronauts (male and female), take on a mission to fix something on the outside of the ship, that would mean they would not return. Once the repair is complete, and they are most likely set for doom, they notice a near by Russian ship, to which they head to. Arriving at the Russian ship, they find a long deceased Cosmonaut in a functioning capsule. The commandeer the ship and head towards Venus. Of course, the Venusians don’t like this idea and stop them…

There you go: That’s 1972’s The Doomsday Machine. I’ve seen much worse, but that doesn’t mean this is good. You can watch the whole, damned thing for free online, mind you – Since I can’t find trailer anywhere, here’s the whole movie:


Mazes and Monsters (1982) – Tom Hanks Walks on The Nerdy Side of the Tracks

Way back in the early 1980s there was a gaming craze that was gathering popularity – Roll Playing games, and the number one game of that genre was (and still is) called Dungeons and Dragons. Like any craze that involves youths using there imagination to envision something fantastic, there were people with too much time on their hands that had to put their nose in others business and tell them that fantasy roll playing games were dangerous. Hell, they would lead to youths descending into a fantasy world in their mind and never come back. Mazes and Monsters is a movie that attempts to warn one of these evils – like the anti-drug movies of the 1950s and 1960s.

Starring one time famous Canadian actor, Chris Makepeace (of Meatballs fame) and then star of the popular sitcom Bosom Buddies, Tom Hanks – yes, that Tom Hanks. This isn’t Tom Hanks first movie, as that dubious distinction goes to the movie, He Knows You’re Alone. Still, I doubt he talks about this film much. 

So, what can I say about this amazing piece of Canadian made movie obscurity? Aside from it’s terrible? Not very much, I guess.

Four friends gather together to play a popular roll playing game called Mazes and monsters. Pretty normal, but one of them, the misfit rich kid, played by Chris Makepeace discovers some near by caves and suggests that they take their game to the next level – Larping. What is Larping? Larping stand for Live Action Roll Playing – that’s when nerds get together and dress up as their roll playing characters and act out their roll playing game. Well that’s what they decide to do. Unfortunately the experience sends Tom Hanks’ already mentally delicate character over the edge into a world were he believes he is his character. Tom then takes off for New York to complete a fantasy quest that is in his mind – sending him into danger – Oh and he messes up a bum in an alleyway who he perceives to be a dragon – Yeah…

So, his friends have to find and save him, which of course ends in a nail biting race against time.   

This movie is very silly, and has definitely not aged well. That being said, it is interesting to see Tom Hanks so early in his career – he has come a long way since then. At lease it’s easy to find the movie: it’s available in full on Youtube. Check it out if you can stomach it.

Here is a clip of Tom Hanks freaking out:

And here’s the entire movie, in all it’s cheezy glory:


Bride of the Monster (1955) – Fun… Stupid but Fun

Ed wood, creator of what is arguably the worst movie ever, Plan 9 From Outer Space, made more than just that one movie. He made quite a few movies and Bride of the Monster is one of those movies.

Starring an ageing and in poor health Bela Lugosi as Doctor Eric Vornoff who, with the help of his mute, physically powerful assistant Lobo (played by Tor Johnson) creates super powerful being with the use of atomic power. The town that he has taken up residence in is suddenly awash in disappearances and reports of monster sightings. Coincidence? Well, most likely not.

The local police force, a mysterious scientist that reports to specialize in monsters, and a female reported from the local paper all take up the cause to find the source of the monsters. Of course, the female reporter is quickly captured by Lobo and taken to Dr. Vornoff to be part of his evil experiments. Everyone else spends there time trying to find and then defeat the Doctor. Throw in plot elements that don’t connect to anything else, terrible dialogue and performances that make an elementary school play look like an Ocsar Award winning production. It’s dumb and fun – filled with stock footage and cheeziness – keep your eye out for Lugosi’s epic battle with his own giant Octopus monster – a classic scene in it’s own right.

This is a bad film, but it had so much charm I just had to like it. Despite being of poor health and suffering from years of morphine addiction, Bela Lugosi is compelling and interesting performance. And there is something else: despite making bad movies, I really get the feeling that Ed Wood genuinely loved movies, and the act of making them. This, to me comes through in these terrible films of his.

Yes, this is a bad film that I thoroughly enjoyed watching. I DO recommend this one, if you can trade quality for charm. This movie is now in the public domain which means it is freely and legally available – In fact, the whole film is available on Youtube. You should get some popcorn, leave your sense of disbeliefe at the door, grab  a seat and watch it.

Here is a trailer:

And here is the whole mess of a film for your enjoyment:


Ed Wood (1994) – A Masterpiece

I remember being excited when I read that Tim Burton was making a film starring Johnny Depp as the infamous B-Movie director/actor/writer Ed Wood. I remember saying I was going to go see that movie opening night. That was in 1994. Tonight I watched this film for the first time. Will someone tell me what is wrong with my head?

For those out there that don’t know who Ed Wood was here’s a real quick description: A strange, driven cross dressing film maker, Ed Wood created such low budget classics as Glen or Glenda, Bride of the Monster the movie he will forever be remembered for, Plan 9 From Outer Space – widely considered to be one of, if not the worst movies ever made. I wrote about it recently here on the blog. Several of these Ed Wood’s films starred his friend, the ageing Bela Lugosi. This is the story of Ed Wood and his struggle to get these classic, terrible films made and the people that got caught up in the whirlwind that he was. Johnny Depp is amazing as Ed wood himself. I really enjoyed his portrayal of this quirky individual. He really had me rooting for a lunatic. Bela Lugosi is played by Martin Landau in a roll that won him the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Supporting Role. Landau made me forget that it wasn’t Lugosi himself. Add to that amazing supporting rolls from an all star cast that included Sarah Jessica Parker, Bill Murray, Jeffery Jones (and more), and you have a great film. Ed Wood is simply a great film. I am a big Tim Burton fan. I am a big Johnny Depp fan. I love those cheezy Ed Wood films. Tim Burton made a film about Ed Wood starring Johnny Depp. Perfect… Everything works. Add to the that the film was great and that is why I call this a masterpiece. Tim Burton made a film about a film maker that was better than any film that film maker ever made. Try saying that ten times while hopping on one foot while juggling. 

If you haven’t seen this film, you must. If you have seen it, then why not watch it again. 

Here’s the trailer:


Deep Space (1988) – Better than I Expected – Though I Didn’t Expect Much

I just finished watching the 1988 horror/Science Fiction film, Deep Space and was pleasantly surprised: I expected this to be really bad -it turned out to be mildly o.k. actually.

A secret military experiment has created a bug like living weapon in space – and that experiment has fallen to Earth. The reason the experiment was done in space was due to how dangerous the creature would be if it got loose (plus, to keep it secret, probably). Well, now that’s crashed to Earth, it is now killing everything it comes in contact with – and reproducing. Dectective Ian McLemore (played by consummate ”that guy” actor, Charles Napier) and his partner, Detective Jerry Merris (played by Barney Miller alumni, Ron Glass)  investigate the gruesome killing of a young couple and find some interesting, things at the scene of the crime… thing apparently not of this Earth. Of course they were killed by the creature, released when it crashed to Earth. More people get killed, a hot police woman gets mixed up with McLemore and his unofficial investigation (he gets put on suspension early) and the gonernment/Military try to keep it all under wraps. Oh: and throw in a psychic (played by the always awesome Julie Newmar) and you have this movie.

I initially thought that this film, in some ways reminded me of the film, Biohazard – then I read that the maker of that film made this film too! The creature’s design is definitely inspired by the creatures from the Alien movies (including the young that look so much like the Face Huggers from the Alien movies that I’m surprised the makers of this film weren’t sued over it). The film isn’t great, but I actually expected it to be much worse. Would I recommend it? Well, why the hell not? I mean, I’ve recommended much worse films!

Check out the trailer here:


Evilspeak (1981) – There Might Be a Reason Clint Howard Rarely Stars in a Film

I watched this movie back in 1982 or so on HBO or Cinemax and really liked it – then I watched in again in 1990 and was not so impressed. I watched it again last night, and while still not impressed, I liked it better than in 1990. The main reason for liking it a little better – a newer cut with more left in it.

This is not a good film. Not worse than many profiled on this blog so far, but still not good. Stanley Coopersmith, (played by Clint Howard), an outcast, geeky orphan enrolled in a military academy, alway being picked on by the more co-ordinated and popular students finds an ally in Satan, through Esteban, and ancient priest that turned to Satan and was cast out of the Church a few centuries before. Coopersmith, while cleaning out the cellar of the old church on campus discovers an ancient book that is the writings of this Estaban. 

Using the school’s trust Apple II computers, Coopersmith translates the ancient book and after a few false starts raises Satan/Esteban and rains Hell down on those that made his life… err… Hell. Along the journey he gains a dog, loses a dog, gets threatened and gets revenge on “Sarge” – a seemingly dangerous old drunk and more.

This film was banned in the United Kingdom for years due to it’s gory climax and Satanism. Still, this film manages to stay boring. Watch it if you like, but it gets no recommendation from me.

Here is the trailer:


How About a Public Viewing?

Hey folks, hope you are all well. I’ve been thinking of doing something fun, soon: I would like to get a few folks together over the ‘Net – most likely using Google Hangouts and have a viewing of some public domain cheese-fest of a movie. It would be similar to what my buddies and I do now over Skype – We all load up a movie, and on a count (you know: 3…2..1), we start the movie at the same time. It is necessary for everyone to be using headphones, as if someone is off by a half-second or so, it sounds like you’re watching the movie in a giant cavern – confusing. As for what movie that has to be decided. It has to be public domain so everyone can get a legal copy, and there are a LOT of public domain movies out there. I think something like Killers From Space (1951) would be a great place to start – it’s freely available on the Internet Archive and definitely fits the  type of movies that this site is dedicated to. Heck… If you are interested in doing this, just click link for The Killers From Space and download the movie (links on the left side of the page – you most likely will have to right hand click on the links and choose “Save As” or else the movie would most likely just start playing in your browser – you don’t want that.

So, let me know if you want to do this – It will most likely be later at night (11:00 pm or later, MST (that’s -7:00 GMT). Reply by clicking this email link to be notified aboout any plans to do this: CLICK HERE TO EMAIL ME – Feel free to suggest a movie in the Email if you’ve got a suggestion – I look forward to it!


Curse of The Swamp Creature (1966) – Bad… So Bad.

I’m not 100% sure why, but I just finished watching the interestingly bad 1966 movie, Curse of The Swamp Creature is about a scientist, Dr. Simon Trent working with reptiles (crocodiles to be accurate) forcing forward and backward evolution, as well as applying what he learns on humans. He creates a Swamp Creature (bet you didn’t expect that) – a man/fish beast with the ability to breathe under water and of course a homicidal nature. Throw in a conniving woman and her cohorts, frightened and suspicious natives and you almost have a movie. The Swamp Creature itself is so freakin’ ridiculous looking that it in itself may be reason enough to watch this movie – but probably not. 

This movie has some stunningly bad acting  (especially that of the scientist, Simon Trent), and a weak script. The concept though is at least semi-original. I can see why one might find a reason to watch it just for those reasons alone… But this really is a terribly bad film that you probably don’t need to see. I really wouldn’t recommend this to anyone other than someone really dedicated to watching bad B-Movies, but it is public domain and therefore is free and legal to watch online and to distribute as you see fit. It’s only 80 minutes long, so if you do decide to watch it, it will be over quick.

Here’s a clip:

Here is the link to the entire movie on Youtube:


Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983) – A Fun, Silly Space Adventure

A silly movie from 1983, Spacehunter: Adventure in the Forbidden Zone plays homage to the pulp Sci-Fi movies and stories of yesteryear. A simple story: a commercial transport ship (like an ocean liner in space) gets hit by debris while travelling near a nova and people have to abandon ship – Salvage operator Wolff (played by Peter Strauss) heads out to rescue a group of three women that escaped in one pod and landed on the bleak, forsaken plague planet Terra XI

Upon landing on the planet Wolff with his Engineer,engineer Chalmers (the attractive Andrea Marcovicci), they find themselves in the middle of a pitched battle between two factions of natives for the control of the stranded Earth women. Before Wolf is able to rescue them, the women are captured and taken to the “Chemist” to be prepared for the pleasure of the Overdog (played by Michael Ironsides), the leader of the most powerful faction on the planet. During the battle Chalmer is “killed” (watch it and you’ll know why there’s quotes around killed), and Wolff meets a teenage “Scav” (short for scavenger” named Niki (played by Molly Ringwald) who agrees to be his guide… well, more accurately forces herself in as guide. Soon they come under attack of a large bulldozer type vehicle, which they find is being codriven by an old acquaintance of Wolff’s from the Military, Washington (played by the venerable Ernie Hudson), who reveals that he too is there to rescue the women and collect the reward (300 Mega credits). Despite refusing Washington’s suggestion that they work together to rescue the woman, eventually circumstances for the trio to work together to stay alive and battle the Overlord and his minions.

This truly is a simple, silly film that is just plain fun. It’s fitting that this was originally released in 3D, during the brief 3D resurgence that happened in the first half of the 1980s, as many of the cheezy 1950’s Sci-Fi films that it pays homage to were originally released in 3D. There’s not a whole lot of scenes where things are thrust into the views… err.. view, so it doesn’t lose anything being watched in 2D. I recommend this movie if you want a break froim movies where you need to use your brain, and If you like silly films (and if you don’t, why are you on this blog anyway?), then I think you might like this light adventure.

Check out the trailer here:



Hangar 18 (1980) – I Can’t Believe I Loved This as a Kid

This is a movie about a Space Shuttle crew that launches a satellite that appears to be destroyed when it impacts with a U.F.O. and the government conspiracy to cover it up.

Staring Gary Collins and Robert Vaughn (and quite a few “oh, that guy” actors), this movie revolves around the government attempting to cover up a collision between a satellite and a U.F.O. and the subsequent retrieval of an intact U.F.O. along with it’s occupants, and two Shuttle Astronauts attempting to get to the bottom of what is becoming a cover up that may end up with them blamed with destruction of the satellite in order to hide the fact that the Earth has been visited by Aliens. So, it’s pretty much a race between the Astronauts trying to find evidence of what they themselves witnessed and the governments attempt to hide all such evidence. Then there’s the group at Hangar 18 working on the captured U.F.O. and it’s inhabitants. The Alien

Tepid acting, poor writing and a lame story, yet I still enjoyed this a bit – partly due to the memories it brought back from my childhood – I saw this back when it was released and thought it was awesome (sure is easy to impress a kid!), and part for how serious it tries to be. The eighties were interesting times, but this isn’t a very interesting movie. I watched it on Netflix and if you have Netflix you might want to give it a go, as it won’t cost you anything extra (but your time). It’s also available on Youtube in it’s entirety so there’s another option to watch it.

Here’s a clip from the movie:

Check out the whole movie here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfNh1daJ6ms


Phantasm (1979) Horror With Balls – Literally

Well this is a creepy, well made horror flick with a dash of Sci-Fi that left me satisfied. Basically an alien entity known as the Tall Man is stealing bodies, and reanimating them and exporting them back to his planet as slaves. Acquiring the bodies is easy as the tall and has set himself up as an undertaker.

Unfortunately (for the Tall Man), a couple of friends attend their recently deceased friend’s funeral, starting the exposure of the Tall Man’s operation. One of the two friends has recently lost his parents and is in charge of his younger brother. The younger brother is convinced that his older brother will be leaving him, and therefore finds himself always following him around – including to the funereal. While hiding out, spying on his bother and the funereal he notices some weird stuff happening (like the Tall Man lifting the casket by himself and placing it in the back of the hearse – that’s a ridiculous amount of weight to be handled by one person. Trying to convince others that there’s shenanigans going on, he pretty much fails, until he is able to enter the mortuary and gather some unusual evidence that convinces his brother of the weirdness going on. The rest is a battle between the broyhers (and the older brother’s buddy, Reggie – the Ice Cream truck driver) against the Tall Man and his army of shrunk down reanimated bodies (oh – and a cool killer flying chrome robotic ball).

This is a stylish film that is surprisingly enjoyable, despite the fact that I can’t stand the acting of a couple of the characters – not unusual with these types of films .

This is one that I definitely suggest watching, and as it is part of a quartet of films (that means there is three sequels),  you can pretty much be sure that I’ll be reviewing those over the next few weeks. 

Check out the trailer here:


The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

Some more Sci-Fi fun with the 1977 film, The Incredible Melting Man. An astronaut, Steve West is exposed to radiation on a mission to Saturn that leaves him crazy and hungry for human flesh… And melting.. Did I mention that he’s melting? Oh, and apparently he’s incredible. Steve West is being pursued throughout the film by a scientist that wants to help him and a General that wants to capture him, all the while finding victims to chow down on. This is pretty bland acting with a weak plot and what’s probably not the best screen writing. Still, the the bad guy melting astronaut looks pretty gross and there’s enough funny cheeziness to make it worth watching. For most of the film, the melting astronaut is stalking victim for their flesh while the government hunts for him. With a little NASA stock footage thrown in every once in a while, the Melting astronaut seems to be having flashbacks of the mission that doomed him as when he is on screen, there is audio playback from sounds like mission control. I thought the film took itself too seriously until I read that it was originally supposed to be a parody of horror Movies, and but that most (or all) of the funny parts were removed, leaving a run of the mill, mostly crappy B-Movie in its wake. It has an almost “Made for TV” feeling, though I do vaguely remembering

seeing the movie poster as a kid in a theatre and thinking it looked cool. The poster left it’s mark I guess, because once I saw that the movie was on Netflix, I jumped at the chance to watch it. Sometimes you should let memories be. That being said, I should note that the effects are done quite well – he looks like he’s melting. This shouldn’t be a surprise though as the effects are done by special effects great, Rick Baker

This film was also featured on the always awesome Mystery Science 3000 TV show.

Suggested watching? Not really, but to be honest it wasn’t even close to being as bad as many of other movies I’ve watched over the last few weeks.

 Watch the Trailer here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc6pGJZ8Xd4

And you can find the movie on Mystery Science 3000 here (on Youtube):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWALN1cRFWM