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Posts tagged “bad movie

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978) – It’s Because of Movies Like This That This Blog Exists

If you haven’t watched Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (ATKT), and you are a reader of this blog, then you should stop reading now, watch the movie and then come back. I’ll wait here.

Okay, so now you’ve watched this movie, what do you think? Bad? Damn straight. Low budget? Oh hell yeah! Unwatchable? I wouldn’t necessarily say that.

So, 1978’s ATKT is a silly, low budget spoof on the low budget creature features that were being made willy-nilly in the 1970s. It seems like a exercise to see how lame a creature could be and still have people watch the film. I think they succeeded in this.

Basically, the story revolves around a group of scientists who have gathered together to try to come up with a defense against, aggressive, killer mutant tomatoes that have suddenly popped up, killing any human they come into contact with. A crack team is sent to look for chinks in the Tomato defenses – including a lieutenant who is dragging a parachute behind himself continuously (hell, he looks like he landed right out of World War II), And underwater expert who is continuously in a wet suit and a master of disguise who is anything but a master of disguise.

I’m not going to write a lot about this movie other than to say that despite it’s stupidity, and lameness, I liked this silly thing they called a movie. If you like bad movies, then this is a definite must watch… and it has the most awesome theme song.

Add this movie to your collection, folks.

Here is a trailer:

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They Call Me Bruce? (1982) – Silly Kung-Fu Fun

OK… When I was a kid growing up in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada I remember this movie from the trailer on TV and the fact that everyone seemed to be talking about it. It seemed like this movie played forever at the local, Jasper Place Theatre. That said, this morning is the first time I’ve seen it – and it is a load of silly, Kung-Fu movie spoof fun.

Bruce is sent out, as a boy to go to the U.S of A. and find his mother who would take care of him (his Grandfather was dying when he instructed him to do so). We next see Bruce (not his real name, just what everyone calls him) working as a cook for a Mafia Boss in the U.S. The Mafia boss decides to use Bruce to deliver some cocaine to dealers in Chicago, letting Bruce believe that it`s his special Chinese flour (for use in noodles). They set him up with a driver/Mafioso to get him there and try to keep him out of prison and out of the hands of rivals.  Along the way they run into various obstacles that Bruce gets them out of in silly, accidental ways.

I really don’t want to tell you the story, other than that. This is a very dumb movie, but with a load of charm. You can’t help but like Bruce, as he is a simple, dumb guy with a heavy dose of luck on his side. I say watch it if you like spook Kung-Fu movies. I do and I liked it.

Here is the trailer:


Not of This Earth (1988) – Horribly Horrible Movie

Oh my god… this was freakin’ painful to watch. 

1988’s Not of This Earth is a horrible remake of the already horrible Sci-Fi Roger Corman film of 1957. Since the original was horrible, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that this film was horrible also… But this horrible? Ugh.

A dying member of a dying alien race is on Earth and has discovered the elixer that can prolong his and races life: Human blood. Using his amazing glowing eyes to take control of the minds of his victims. It looks like he might be unstoppable.

He (the alien) hires a local nurse (played by the sexy Traci Lords) to administer transfusions from legal sources of blood, while at night he supplements with the blood of his victims (mostly hookers).

Aside from some tits and ass shots, this movie really has no redeeming value – even to me, a huge supporter of shitty films. I say don’t freakin’ bother with this shitty film.

Here is the trailer:


Grizzly (1976) – 18 Feet of Gut Wrenching Jaws Ripoff

You know  that saying, so bad it’s good? Well, I think that applies here.

My wife suggested this movie for the blog. She saw at the drive in  with her parents and brother when she was a kid and said it would be perfect for this blog. She was right (as usual).

What is Grizzly? Simply it is Jaws with the woods as the ocean and a gigantic Grizzly bear as the shark. Really. I mean it. Almost scene for scene, this is Jaws with a bear, a lower budget, worse script and no Steven Spielberg.

A giant Grizzy (in an area that’s not supposed to have Grizzlies), starts killing and eating campers like they’re going out of style. A park ranger that cares is trumped by his boss that has his own agenda… you know: like mayor of Amity in Jaws. They send out a bunch of random, drunken hunters to hunt down the bear against the wishes of the park ranger – like the fishermen trying to earn the bounty on the shark… In Jaws. It goes on… hell even the music is similar. Low Budget Land Jaws.

CLAWS!!!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I liked this movie. Sure it’s dumb but that’s exactly what I expected. This was one of many movies made in an attempt to cash in on the hoopla (yes, I said hoopla), that was created by Jaws. The fact that it was a scene for scene attempt at a copy was just a bonus. Should you watch it? Oh HELL yeah. It’s even easy to do, as I just noticed it is on Youtube, though I’m not sure for how long – check out that link below the clip below.

Here’s a few minutes from the movie:


Galaxy of Terror (1981) – Better Cast Than Script

I was warned that this was a super bad movie, and that there was no way in Hell I would like it.

I liked this stupid movie.

On a rescue mission, a ship and her crew are set out to a planet run by the Planet Master. Once on the planet, the crew is quicky subjected to terrors…terrors based on their own fears.

This is a Roger Corman production with a few names that eventually became pretty big in the movie industry. A pre-Freddy Krueger (even pre-Willie from V), Robert Englund, star of a huge number of movies and TV shows Sid Haig and lets not forget Erin Moran a.k.a. Joanie Cunningham from Happy Days. Oh…and what is most surprising to me, James Cameron (Titanic, Avatar) as Production Designer and Second Unit Director.

Very cheezy, and much of the back drops look like bad paintings, still there is a certain charm to this film. None of it makes sense, but all of it was fun. Like many of the movies on this blog, the verdict is, if you like bad movies, you`ll like this. It didn`t win any awards, and didn`t deserve to, but it is fun. Watch this piece of crap if you have time.

Here is the Trailer:

And looky here – here`s the whole movie:



Captain America (1990) – Fun but Dumb

You know, I didn’t even know that this movie existed until earlier this week when one of my fellow co-workers suggested I watch it for this blog – I’ll definitely have to thank him for this.

This 1990 depiction of Captain America is a pretty shoddy deal, but is cheezy enough to stay fun.

Typical Captain America story: Nazi Germany (and the Italian Mussolini regime) develop a super soldier, the Red Skull, and the American’s do the same with Captain America. Bad things happen, Captain America gets frozen for 40 or so years, thaws out and continues his battle against the Red Skull. In this version, the President has been kidnapped by the Red Skull with the help of a general from the Pentagon, with the plan to implant a mind control device, therefore making the President little more than a puppet for the Red Skull. Of course, the newly revived Captain America must save the President (and the Free World with it) by defeating the Red Skull once and for all.

Silly, dumb, bad acting and Ned Beatty – I freakin’ loved this piece of crap. Don’t watch it because you love the Avengers or Captain America – watch it because you love bad movie, and you won’t be disapointed

And… you can watch the whole awesome mess on Youtube – and that link can be found after the trailer, below.

Here is the Trailer:

And here, my friends is the whole movie:


The Doomsday Machine (1972) – Ah, More End of the World Sci-Fi Crap

1972’s The Doomsday Machine… What can I say?

Well, the Chinese have developed a nuclear device that threatens to destroy the world. At the same time, the U.S is poised to launch the first manned probe to Venus. Receiving the news of China’s death machine, the U.S. pushes up the launch date, and at the last moment substitute three attractive women (scientists) for three of the originally planned crew.

Once launched, it is revealed to them all that the reason for the substitution in due to the fact that they just might be the last members of the human race, and therefore would be responsible to keep the species going. 

The movie attempts to touch upon the psychological aspects of such a crew in such a situation. One of the male member loses it and in an attempt to rape one of the women, causes them both to be accidentally jettisoned into space.

Soon they are forced, due to fuel concerns, to face the reality that they may not all survive. Two of the astronauts (male and female), take on a mission to fix something on the outside of the ship, that would mean they would not return. Once the repair is complete, and they are most likely set for doom, they notice a near by Russian ship, to which they head to. Arriving at the Russian ship, they find a long deceased Cosmonaut in a functioning capsule. The commandeer the ship and head towards Venus. Of course, the Venusians don’t like this idea and stop them…

There you go: That’s 1972’s The Doomsday Machine. I’ve seen much worse, but that doesn’t mean this is good. You can watch the whole, damned thing for free online, mind you – Since I can’t find trailer anywhere, here’s the whole movie: