Thank you to everyone that made the Calgary Horror Convention an AMAZING event. A fantastic lineup of guests, including a reunion of the cast from the fantastic 1990 remake of Night of the Living Dead: Bill Moseley, Tom Savini, Patricia Tallman and Tony Todd,
Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) got her start on a TV station, introducing campy horror movies on a late night TV show. Dressed as a sexy, large breasted raven haired sex-vamp, she rose to the top of Pop culture in the 1980s and 1990s and her posters covered countless walls of teenage boys lusting after that fantastic figure (especially those boobs…especially those boobs).
Well this is Elvira’s movie. It tells the story of Elvira, fresh from quitting her TV job and planning on starting a Las Vegas show, but finding herself $70,000 short. Suddenly she gets word that her great Aunt has passed away and she has inherited her estate, a run down house and a “cook book.” Her appearance in this small town creates quite a ruckus, as the town have very strict rules on what is and what is not allowed: no sex and no violence in media… Just a boring little place. Elvira drives the powers to be crazy with her sexy appearance. Trying to make the best of things she gets to work on sprucing up the house with the help of the local youths. At the same time, her Great Uncle is trying to get that cook book of her aunt’s.
Well, it turns out that things in Elvira’s family are not as they seem, and she is part of a magical, ancient family that control the darkness. Her uncle wants the cookbook as is really a book of magic and spells, and possessing it during the upcoming Lunar Eclipse would seal his power as master of the dark. Of course Elvira has to stop this.
So, this is a stupid, silly movie and at times it seems like Elvira is trying to be Rodney Dangerfield with her delivery of her lines. That said, this is good, cheezy fun and I enjoyed every minute of this terrible film. Should you watch it? Damn straight you should.
Check out the trailer:
This is kind of cool: an interview with one of the Kings of the Bib-Boob B-Movie Drive In movies, Russ Meyer from the Conan O’Brien show.
2010’s I Didn’t Come Here To Die is one of the generation of new Grindhouse style movies that seem to be gaining cachet with the alternative movie market, but does it properly.
A group of young adult have volunteers to break ground on a new camp for under privileged children. A mish-mash of personalities, these folks are brought together in the woods for what is supposed to be about a year. They are working on getting a campsite setup by clearing trails, digging fire pits and such. Being young, there is the usual sexual tension between some of the people.
On the first or second night, the group starts drinking around a camp fire (that never seems to be lit), and things get weird when one of the two group leaders, who comes off as a prude, and has been ridiculed by the others for being square (and dressing like a “Mom”), starts drinking and gets a little crazy, jumping on the bad boy of the group and basically demanding sex. Another girl pushes her of and they have a verbal spat . The leaders storms of and quickly gets injured…awesomely.
What follows is a series of accidents and not so accidents. Brutalities caused by stupidity, followed by brutalities caused by fear and humanities brutality that lies just below it’s surface.
This is a low budget movie, but that’s okay: there’s no real need for a big budget, and they did well with the little money that they did spend. Both brutal and fun, I say watch this movie if you like slasher/people in the woods style movies, though it’s not a slasher film. This film is actually pretty original. Watch it!
Here’s the trailer:
Alright, by the title of the blog, you’ve got to know that I like bad movies. That must be the reason I like this one.
Zombies Vs. Strippers is a silly tale about a few strippers, the club owner, the bouncer and a couple of patrons that hole up inside a strip club at the outbreak of a Zombie Virus. Pretty straight forward. The acting’s not awesome (at the same time, it’s not the worse I’ve seen by a long shot), and the budget, like all these type of movies is pretty small, but that’s okay – I didn’t expect and award winning performance like Gandhi or anything – It was good enough to be fun.
Zombies, boobs and laughs – good enough to justify the short, one hour and fourteen minute run time.
If you like B-Movies, then go ahead and watch this movie – just don’t expect too much.
There is no way that I can think of describing where it sounds like a good movie, but that’s okay because this isn’t a good movie. That said, I still liked this movie. Created in the same vein of the cheezy drive in monster/mutant movies that populated drive ins of the 1950s through the late 1970s, this movie definitely fits right in with the worse/best of them.
Produced by Roger Corman, King of the B-Movies, but more a creation of writer Mike MacLean and director Kevin O’Neill, this movie tells the story of an acne spotted, nerdy girl, Cassie Stratford (played by Jena Sims) who is pressured by her mother (played by Sean Young) to join the cheerleader squad. She fails at first, much to the delight of cheerleader squad leader, Brittany (played by Olivia Alexander). Still feeling the pressure from her mother, Cassie decides to try the serum she and another lab student help develop that seems to rejuvenate and improve the outward appearances of lab rats and mice. Initially, Cassie finds herself with a now perfect complection and a bitchin’ body. When one of the cheerleaders gets injured, Cassie tries out again, and this time wows the team (and pissing off Brittany at the same time).
As Cassie becomes more gorgeos, she is also growing. Soon she ids a behemoth of hotness, and insecure Brittany decided she needs to be like Cassie. Entering the lab Cassie studied at, she tries to coerce the serum from the nerdy lab partner but eventually accidentally gets a double dose of the serum in her boobs.
So, soon we have two, giant hot chicks which leads to what? Anyone? That’s right: two giant hot chicks fighting in tiny bits of clothing. – all the while, the nerdy lab guy is trying to administer an agent to counteract the effects of the serum. Oh: and a pharmaceutical company is trying to capture Cassie (the back the research in to the serum) for their own reasons.
So, this is a dumb, silly movie – but it is supposed to be. If you enjoy the classic B-Movies of the past then this is for you.
Here is the trailer:
I wanted to like 2001’s Ritual, really. I like Tales From The Crypt, and I like Zombie Films. Unfortunately, I did not like this Tales From the Crypt Zombie Film.
Do you remember the Crypt Keeper from the 1980’s and Early 1990s? Yes? Than you would have expected the Crypt Keeper to introduce a Tales from the Crypt movie… right? Yeah, I expected that also, but guess what? No Crypt Keeper. Alright, not a great start.
So, the story is about a Doctor, suspended from practicing medicine in the states for two years due to a decision that was forced upon her. She has accepted a position on a mansion in Jamaica, caring for a rich guy that thinks he’s being controlled by dark forces. Jamaican style Voodoo, called Obeah, is being blamed for his illness, while many believe he is just plane crazy.
This is a movie about plotting, revenge, black magic and silly people. It’s a movie where we are treated to seeing the main character’s apparently permanently erect nipple push though her blouse. It’s a movie of brothers – of family betrayal. It’s a movie 30+ minutes too long for the amount of story contained within.
This movie dragged on so long. Take about 30 minutes away and it would be okay.
I say don’t watch this film. It’s not the worst I’ve seen – hell, it’s not even close. Still, it bored me.
I can’t even find the trailer for you folks to watch – sorry. Those of you with Netflix will be able to watch it with no problems if you really feel you need to.
I watched 1982’s Swamp Thing back when it was new (and I was young) and I loved it then just as I love it now.
Starring Adrienne Barbeau and Louis Jourdan, this Wes Craven movie is primarily about a scientist that develops some plant/animal hybrid formula that allows super fast regeneration of cells. An evil, bad mad scientist wants the formula and, with his henchmen, heads to the doctor’s laboratory in the swamp to take it. An accident leaves the good guy on fire when the formula gets splashed all over him – he’s assumed killed. The bad guys take the research notes (minus one book that Adrienne hides while feigning unconsciousness.
The good guy scientist, instead of being killed by the formula/fire, is actually transformed into the Swamp Thing: a giant, plant/man hybrid with enormous strength and rapid healing powers.
The rest of the film has Adrienne being captured, saved, captured, escaped…Swamp Thing captured/escaping. It’s really all very silly and low budget… But I just don’t care. This film has charm and is fun… and I got to see Adrienne Barbeau’s boobs when I was a kid and that’s something!
Hey, this is a comic book movie, so realism can be thrown to the wind. Leave your sense of credulity at the door and enjoy this silly film.
Here is the trailer:
I only watched this movie because of a silly clip I saw on Youtube from it. I should have stuck with the clip.
Diamond smugglers, a “contaminated” escaped killer Boa constrictor (a snake), a number of 80’s Playboy Playmates, some cheezeball hunky almost actor dudes and you have this movie. Oh, and lets not for get a killer Frisbee scene. Show tits every 5 – 7 minutes and you have this shitty movie.
Want to read about the plot and such? Too bad, as you’ll have to elsewhere for that.
Shitty movie – very shitty, but al least the clip I originally saw still makes me laugh.
Here is that clip: