Shaky Cam Week Movie 1 – Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014) –Maybe They Should Have Stopped After The First Few
The first Paranormal Activity movie back in 2009 was a scary, effective and unique horror movie. It was pretty damned good, actually. The next couple were still pretty good, but eack, in my opinion, was a little less good than the previous movie. With The Marked Ones, it’s just redundant and getting pretty boring now.
So some young adults/late teens stumble upon some black magic, manage to raise something from the depths of darkness, and now they are marked for death and one of their own is seemingly becoming possessed and has superhuman strength and psi powers. Oh, and they communicate with the evil spirit by using an old classic Simon game. Of course they try to defeat evil and get to the bottom of whatever is going on…
Okay, I am sorry, but this franchise is done for me. It should have been done with the second movie, but definitely should never have progressed past the third movie. If this is your thing, then go for it, because it’s not absolutely terrible, I just find it increasingly uninteresting.
Come on, make a NEW movie.
Night Of The Living Dead: Resurrection (2012)–You Know What? Maybe It’s Time For Amateurs To Leave Night Of The Living Dead Alone
Well you know enough about this movie now. Don’t bother wasting your time on this long winded, waste of time movie that uses the Night of the Living Dead namesake. It’s just plain boring. I really think that if you are going to butcher a movie, butcher your own movie and leave Night of the Living Dead out of it. Make up a new Zombie Movie name of your own and go with it… Ah,right, but why would anyone watch it? So, why not tack on a title of an iconic movie and hope to snag unsuspecting horror fans…
Screw you folks – you suck at making movies.
2013’s Free Ride stars Anna Paquin and is based on a true story as a mom in the 1970’s that escapes an abusive relationship with her kids and heads to Florida. Once there she starts working for a major pot importer whom she meets through a friend. She is raising two daughters and not doing a particular job about that. Stuff happens, people get hurt/go to jail etc…
Okay, the acting isn’t bad in this film, but the story is freakin’ boring. Coming in at only an hour and twenty-six minutes, it felt like a damned eternity. You know, just because you have a story to tell, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should, We learn that the story/movie is written by one of the daughters… Next time stick to your diary, as this is a waste of time.
Check out the trailer below, but don’t be fooled by it as it’s all smoke and mirrors – the trailer is all you really need.
It’s a piece of crap with a stupid plot, a stupid attempt at a “twist”… and I’m sure some freakin’ hipster will defend it as the direction of the new “Artcore” movement.
Just because you call a piece of crap a rose, doesn’t make it a rose.
So, a girl starts college, and her partying new dorm mate invites her to a party. Once there she’s introduced to “Smiley” – You get in an Internet chat room with someone, and while you are there, you type “I did it for the lulz” three times, and magically a distorted smiley face character comes out of know where and kills the person on the other side of the chat window. Not a terrible idea for a horror movie, but unfortunately, it is a terrible horror movie. I’m not even 100% sure where it went off the track, but it was one of those movies where you just end up waiting for it to end.
Don’t bother with this piece of crap folks… Unless you are the hipster that is going to email me about “Artcore” = and if you are, spare yourself and me the time and don’t bother formulating that email.
Screw the trailer, as this movie doesn’t deserve the posting of a trailer here.
Wow… It’s been so long since that I watched this movie, that I had completely forgot that I saw this movie. Not that I was missing much, bet yeah, I’ve seen this when I was a pretty young kid. Some things are best left in the past… Hehehe.
The Horror at 37,000 Feet is a made for TV horror film staring Chuck Connors, Buddy Ebsen and William Shatner that takes place on a 747 airliner…at apparently 37,000 feet. There’s a Druid stone on the plane (being moved from England to the U.S. to be part of a private bar of a successful architect. It’s the solstice, the ancient Druid god’s are angry and demanding a sacrifice.
So, the movie is pretty weak, as one might expect for a made for TV movie of this time (1973), and I doubt many would like it. I enjoyed it mostly due to the memories it brought back and my weird love of crappy movies. If you want to relive some TV memories from the 70’s or also like cheezy bad movies, then I say go for it… If you don’t fit this mould, just walk away and don’t look back.
Trivia: Paul Winfield also stars in this movie – William Shatner and Paul Winfield would later go on to be in Star Trek II – The Wrath of Khan nine years later in 1982.
So I watched the 2013 horror movie, Nurse, (also known as Nurse 3D), last night. Yeah, that really is all I should say, but I feel if I left it at that you might not know how much I think this movie sucks.
Well, it really sucks. Bad acting, casting and script – a perfect storm of crappiness. It’s a story of a Nurse by day that kills cheating men by night… Not the worse concept – too bad whomever these people are were the ones who decided to make a movie about it.
If you were part of the creating of this crapfest then I hope you understand how crappy it is.
Oh, did I mention Judd Nelson is in it? No? And Kathleen Turner has a bit part? I didn’t? Must because they were eclipsed by the crappiness of it all.
And here is the crappy trailer for this crappy movie:
Telling the story of a female gang, know as the Dagger Debs (a sub gang made of the girl friends of The Daggers, and all male gang), run by tough chick Lace (played by Robbie Lee) who rules her gang through fear. Soon a small time confrontation in a diner ends with a new member of the gang, Maggie, who impressed Lace with her whip like skills and lack of fear.Lace and Maggie grow closer, which get’s fellow gang member, Patch (played by Monica Gayle), jealous as Maggie seems to be displacing her as Lace’s right hand girl. At the same time, Dominic (played by Asher Brauner), leader of the Daggers and Lace’s man takes a fancy to Maggie, forcing himself on her in her home one night. Seeing an opportunity, Patch starts laying the seeds of dissent by planting the idea that Maggie is actually after Dominic.
After a raid on a rival gang at a roller rink goes bad, and Dominic is killed, and Lace ends up in the hospital, Maggie decides that the remaining Daggers are just too weak to follow, she brings the girls to a “Black” neighbourhood and meets up with some militaristic woman gang members whom they team up with to take out that rival gang. Successfully destroying the rivals, now a conflict breaks out between Lace and Maggie. Believing Maggie is trying to usurp her as leader, and that she was trying to take Dominic (before he died of course), Maggie and Lace engage in a switchblade fight…
Okay, enough… I actually had fun watching this terrible movie. There are very few redeeming qualities to this film, or even this genre of film, but it is damn fun. The incredible cheeziness of the script, acting and overall concept makes this an almost must watch!
Check out the trailer below and make your own decision.
Starting off in 1977 where we see the story of a group of Bible Campers hanging out trying to get laid and smoking dope… And eventually most of them die. Cut to 1984 and a new group is going up to the camp – mostly to die.
Where do I start? Bad plot with bad acting and bad production. Sound suffers at time (from that bad production that I just mentioned)…. and the actors and actresses are pretty ugly for the most part.
This movie is terribly stupid… but I still had fun.
Should you watch this movie? Well you freakin’ decide.
Obviously looking at cashing in on the already tired Halloween franchise, this one puts the blame for Michael of some ancient curse/alignment of the stars that only happens on certain Halloween’s.
This movie sucks. They brought back the usually great Donald Pleasence, who seems frail and weak in this film – heck he passed away very shortly after completing this film, and it also stars a young Paul Rudd. Unfortunately they couldn’t secure Daniel Harris to revise her role as Jamie from the two Halloween movies prior to this one – She was too smart and they were too cheap to pay her.
You know, I could tell you more about the actual movie but I won’t waste you or my time doing so. Let me just say that your time would be better spent watching any number of other movies… Check out the original Halloween or even Rob Zombie’s remake.
This movie is boring.
As mentioned in a previous post, I am a fan of Star Trek. I have been a fan since a very small child and I am not ashamed to say that. As a kid I just loved the whole Star Trek universe. I watched the show (in syndication – I’m not quite that old), and had a few of the cool toys. When they announced that a Star Trek movie was coming out I almost lost it, in that way only a nine year old can. After watching the movie, I don’t remember being disappointed, though I do remember being slightly underwhelmed.
Star Trek fans had been waiting for quite a while to see their favourite characters on ANY screen in a new adventure. When Star Trek – The Motion Picture was released, we were ecstatic. It’s just too bad that much of what made Star Trek the fun adventure it was, was missing – the humour. Oh they had the original cast, and a newly rejuvenated Enterprise, but the whole movie was just too antiseptic… too clean. The plot has the crew of the Enterprise rushing to save the Earth from a massive machine based probe that is leaving a path of destruction in it’s wake. A seemingly alien machine with an interesting Earthly origin. There were some big concepts, that make for a good sci-fi movie…just not a great Star Trek movie. I find that there is also a lot of filler: shots of the new Enterprise that go on forever – or as I like to call it: Nerd Porn. Oh: and I think the Uniforms in this movie are the worse Star Fleet uniforms in any Trek show or movie.
I will say one thing for this movie, though: it looks fantastic. This movie was and is (in my opinion), visually stunning.
Don’t get me wrong, as a Sci-Fi and Star Trek fan, I still watch this film once in a while, as it is Star Trek and it is a good looking movie… But It’s just not that great.
Check out the trailer below, and if you are a Star Trek fan (or am interested in the Star Trek movies), I still say watch this… But don’t expect too much.
Check out the trailer below and stay tuned for a review of the best Trek movie.
Hello hello hello!
So, after recently re-watching the second movie of the Star Trek reboot, Star Trek – Into Darkness, I have decided to revisit the Star Trek Movie Franchise and with up the experience. If you are a fan of the Star Trek universe, and are actually honest to yourself, then you know that there are many bad movies in this series (and of course a few good ones, also).
I am going to review (or whatever we call what I do here on this site) at least the first Trek films (the original series films), and perhaps film seven, Generations as it combines (poorly) The Original Series and The Next Generation. Who knows: I may continue through the entire catalogue of Trek Films… Time will tell.
I am a huge fan of Star Trek, but I am very aware that some of these films are real turkeys, but I am also of the opinion some are not just good Star Trek movies, but good Sci-Fi movies in general. I will try to be fair – I hope you enjoy – Keep watching!!!
A generic feeling early 80’s Sci-Fi movie, this is a dark and visually muddy movie. A specialist is sent to a planet where experiments in creating a high protein food source has gone awry when the creature the scientists have created (a mutant, hybrid between human and whatever), goes rogue and starts killing and transforming the crew of the outpost.
The mature creature looks a little like an obese version of the Alien from, well.. Alien, and it’s pre-transformation looks a little like a you might see inhabiting the thermal vents of the Marianas trench. The actors are people I’ve never heard of, there’s a little bit of 80’s breast and that’s it.
I’ve seen worse, but I’ve also seen much better. This movie seems to have a little bit of a cult following. I wonder if that is due to people who saw the movie at a young and impressionable age.
Anyway, I watched it on Netflix.
Here is the trailer:
Soylent Green takes place in New York City in 2022. The world is struggling to feed the masses a,d the human diet is primarily soy and plankton wafers (of different colours and quality) made by the Solent company. The wafers are found in red, yellow and the new, higher quality Soylent Green variety. When When New York city Police Detective Robert Thorn (played by Charlton Heston), is called to investigate the murder William R. Simonson, he discovers the dirty truth behind the Soylent corporation and their new wonder product, Soylent Green.
This movie paints an interesting if bleak view of the not so distant future: The humanity is struggling to feed it’s masses, while the upper crust lives in relative opulence. Rich executives have concubines (referred to as furniture) included with the rent of their homes. They get access to real foods instead of waiting in never ending lines for an allotment of tasteless survival food. Thorn’s persistent investigating turns up something very disturbing about the Soylent corporations new miracle food Soylent Green… Something that would definitely make it much less palatable .
This is an important Sci-Fi film, and I definitely suggest you watch it. It’s a bit slow, and if your Sci-Fi requires spaceships and laser guns, then don’t watch this as it will disappoint. But if you enjoy a good story then check it out.
Yeah, this is an ambitious tale, staring the usually amazing Sir Ian McKellen (actually, he’s the only strong part of this film) and a handful of others that I won’t even bother looking up. I couldn’t even pay attention, and I had NO distractions. If you read this blog even semi regularly, you know that it doesn’t take much for me to find something to like in a movie. I mean, lots of crappy 80’s synthesizer music, dry ice fog and Nazis and Demons…Should be good enough but it wasn’t.
Don’t bother with this one folks. And to think I almost bought the Blu-Ray!
So, you see there was this little TV series back in the late 1960s called Star Trek, and it’s male lead was played by a cool, dashing, hip and awesomely hammy actor by the name of William Shatner. While Star Trek did okay in the ratings there was a cult following around the show and it’s cast. Well, White Comanche stars William Shatner, and it’s pretty clear this was an attempt to cash in on Shatner’s new found popularity, because other than William Shatner, this doesn’t have much else going for it.
William Shatner plays the roles of twin brothers, Johnny Moon and Notah, twin half breed (their words, not mine) brothers of Comanche/White persuasion. Johnny lives the life of a white guy (who happens to know how to fight and is quick on the draw), and Notah is known as the White Comanche and is an over the top, out of control killer/raider/raper – a total prick of a killer. This causes a lot trouble for Johnny since they are twins, he’s always getting mistaken for Notah and people want to kill Notah (and rightly so)… So people, wanting to kill Notah, unknowingly are trying to kill Johnny – the innocent brother… Okay? Well Johnny is friggin’ tired of this and has laid it out: meet me in 4 days at the town of Rio Honcho – two will enter, only one will survive. When Johnny gets into Rio Honco, of course everybody mistakes him for Notah… and all that stuff Notah did makes everyone want to kill Johnny… wait, I explained all this already. Notah’s evil escapades catch up to Johnny again in the days leading up to that big showdown. Add to the mix the fact that the town is divided into two factions with only a good but under resourced sheriff (played by Joseph Cotten) to keep them both from each other’s neck, which up until now has worked. Add this new Johnny/Notah thing to the mix and the whole situation boils over – and we haven’t even got to the big Johnny/Notah battle. One bad guy shoots the sheriff and then the two factions fight… Eventually Johnny and Notah have it it out, and then there’s peace.
Well, I guarantee that all that sounds better than it really is. Not actually a “Spaghetti Western” as this was a Spanish production, this movie severely lacks a budget and direction. It definitely feels and looks different from your standard Spaghetti Western and weirdly, the copy I have is 4×3 – I find most Spaghetti Westerns are shot in widescreen. On Shatner: I like William Shatner, but his Comanche “war cry” is one of the most pathetic things I have ever heard – he sounds somewhere between a small dog that had a paw stepped on and a deranged bird.
Is this a good movie? Oh, HELL no. Should you watch it? Well, that’s a different matter all together. Honestly, I am glad I watched it just to see such a ridiculous Shatner movie.
I can’t seem to find a trailer, but apparently this movie is now public domain, so here is an entire copy of the movie for you to stream if you are a masochist!
White Comanche (Entire Movie)
I watched this on Netflix, as it was a recommended watch. I think Netflix might hate me.
The movie (attempts) to tell the story of a Doctor who is injecting a notorious criminal with a new drug that she hopes will cure him of his homicidal ways. It doesn’t and allows him to enter peoples dreams and them to kill themselves.
Yeah…screw that shit.
Don’t watch this, even if you’ve got the biggest crush on Elizabeth Hurley… Don’t watch it.
This movie is so crappy that I can’t even find a trailer for it.
I wish I stuck with the trailer.
Jack the Giant Slayer is a very pretty looking movie – very pretty.
Jack the Giant Slayer is also quite boring.
Looking like a live action film meets the 2007 Beowulf animated film, this film drags most of the way through with dashes of action. Yes, there’s a great giant versus human battle at the end but it’s too little too late.
Jack the Giant Slayer bored me and I won’t forgive that. Should you watch it? I don’t know, are you having trouble sleeping?
Yep, I watched it.
A 1971 pseudo environmental warning horror film about a scientist (mad, of course) who combines the invasive species, The Walking Catfish, and mankind to create a killer fishman – himself.
He kidnaps and kills a few people, looks ridiculous and is silly.
That is all this movie has going for it. Watch it if you like, I found it on Netflix (U.S.). Apparently it was also known as Zaat and is available on Youtube.
Here is the Trailer. and look below that for the entire movie (as “Zaat”)
And Here’s the whole movie:
This movie tells the story of Jonathan Venkenhein (played by Kris Lemche who also starred in Alter Egos, a movie I blogged about previously), the true heir to the Frankenstein myth and his search for the monster whom he believes to be still alive and residing in the arctic wastes of northern Canada. Turns out his great grandfather (or great great grandfather) created the monster that was immortalized in the Mary Shelley story. Venkenhein has hired a film crew to tag a long and film his quest.
Arriving at their destination, they hook up with a grizzled guide who takes them out to the desolation of the arctic, along the way filling them with tales of horror related to the extremes of weather and the dangerous polar bears. The first night they setup camp in a tent. Waking up their guide at the sound of wolves, the grumpy guide lets them know that wolves are the last thing they have to worry about… and to not wake him up again, or else. The next day they carry on to a Yurt, a round primitive structure which they setup camp in for the night. During the dark they hear horrific noises that Venkenhein attributes to the monster but the rest of the group think are the noises of bears. They awake to the destruction or damaging of all but one of their snowmobiles. Their guide decides to follow the tacks leading away from the destruction to get to the bottom of whom would ever do something like this. When four hours later the guide doesn’t return, they send out two of the party to find him. They find him alright… Dead.
The rest of the movie is the struggle of the ever decreasing remaining people trying to survive. By now it’s pretty obvious that Venkenhein’s monster does exist. They send out one member of the team to go out on the the one remaining snow mobile. When he doesn’t return, they start walking. Soon finding the remaining of the crew member that went for help, the team is gripped with the reality that they may not get back…
And the monster returns.
Ever see Trollhunter? If yes then think of that movie if the movie makers didn’t try as hard. This movie’s biggest issue is that it is boring, and if you’ve read this blog before you know the one thing I don’t forgive a movie maker is for boring me. Should you watch this movie? Well, I say no. Check out the trailer for yourself, though:
I watched the new Judge Dredd movie, Dredd, a couple of nights ago and have this to say: Yeah, this is a Judge Dredd Movie.
For the most part, I think that’s all that really needs to be said, but for the sake of the blog I’ll write a bit more.
Did you see the original Judge Dredd movie starring Sylvester Stalone? Well, that one had more going on than this movie. I’m not saying it was better – it wasn’t – but there was more going on. The story of this movie? Who cares. It’s a dark action movie with some entertaining gunfight and explosions, characters that I just couldn’t care less about. It’s not a bad movie, it’s just a movie I could take or leave.
This is a movie. Watch it if you like.
Here’s the trailer:
2010’s Dutch film, Saint Nick, tells an alternative story of a Saint Nicholas that inspired fear into the people of a small dutch town, entering the town in December 5, each year and the years with Full moons on this day, demanded gifts of wealth, riches, virgins and more. He used his evil, demon like minions, Black Petes to ensure he got what he wanted too. Eventually the town rose up, and destroyed Saint Nick and his evel band when they blew up his massive sailing ship and burned him alive. Ok, so they destroyed him and are safe now, right? Wrong: now they are cursed, and every 24 to 34 years, when there is a full moon on December the 5th (the anniversary of the town destroying Nick, his ship and minions), Saint Nick and his Black Petes come back and terrorize to town for a night, killing scores and torturing others.
This film looks great, and the idea is interesting… Too bad, as it had me dozing off a little more than half-way through. It’s boring and a waste of time. Want to see a Christmas horror film worth watching, then keep reading over the next week or so, as since we are heading towards Christmas, we will be spending the next week or so watching Christmas horror films. One or more are likely to be better than this.
Here is the trailer:
I watched 2006’s Easter Bunny Kill! Kill! last night and kind of wished I didn’t.
This is a poorly made movie about a young, mentally challenged boy that is being raised by a single mom. The mom has a new boyfriend that she doesn’t realize is a murderous thug who manages to wrangle himself into living with the pair. The boy, obsessed with Easter, doesn’t like Mom’s new boyfriend, and confides this and other things to his pet bunny, given to him by a homeless man, a few days before Easter.
On Easter day, Mom has to work a double shift and the boy is left in the care of the boyfriend who decides that this is a great time to party, and offers up the boy to a pedophile drug dealer he knows in exchange for drugs and money. The attempt to rape the boy is foiled when a mysterious stranger in a bunny masks starts killing all the degenerates. So, bad guys/gals die, a secret is revealed, then another and then everyone (who’s still alive) live happily ever after.
Yeah… screw that shit. This is crap. Reading the reviews on imdb.com makes me believe that the cast wrote most of the reviews. This is a waste of time with little or no redeeming values. Watch it if you want.
Here is the stupid trailer: