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Posts tagged “British

Night Of The Living Dead: Resurrection (2012)–You Know What? Maybe It’s Time For Amateurs To Leave Night Of The Living Dead Alone

MV5BMjEyNTc2NDg5NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzA5MDExNw@@._V1_SX214_Okay, so there’s a Zombie outbreak, a family is stuck in their home, a group of tough ass hole teens are also causing issues and there is no happy ending.

Well you know enough about this movie now. Don’t bother wasting your time on this long winded, waste of time movie that uses the Night of the Living Dead namesake. It’s just plain boring. I really think that if you are going to butcher a movie, butcher your own movie and leave Night of the Living Dead out of it. Make up a new Zombie Movie name of your own and go with it… Ah,right, but why would anyone watch it? So, why not tack on a title of an iconic movie and hope to snag unsuspecting horror fans…

Screw you folks – you suck at making movies.


Dragonslayer (1981) – To This Day, Still One Of My Favourite Movie Dragon Designs

DragonslayerPoster1981’s movie, Dragonslayer, blew my twelve year old mind when I fist sat through this movie with my good friend, Robin. Now, 23 years later, I am still liking this movie.

Staring Peter MacNicol (better known to some as the short, curly haired lawyer, John Cage, from the TV show Ally McBeal), as Galen Bradwarden, a young apprentice of the Wizard, Ulrich of Craggenmoor (Ralph Richardson), who takes up the Wizard’s quest to slay the Dragon, Vermithrax Pejorative, after Ulrich is apparently killed while proving a point by brutish henchman Tyrian, right hand of King Casiodorus (Peter Eyre). Ulrich had just accepted the task of killing the Dragon when a delegation of peasants approached him asking for his help. Kind Casiodorus had implemented a lottery, offering up a female virgin each year to appease the beast. The people have had enough of the Lottery and living under the fear of the Dragon, and are at their wits end. Now seeing their hopes die almost immediately, with the death of Ulrich, they head back to their town. Soon, though, they are joined by Galen, who has just inherited the Wizard’s magic amulet, who states that he will take up his former Master’s task and slay the Dragon himself. Along the way he risks strong resistance from the King, who believes his lottery system is best for his people, and is temporarily jailed so as not to meddle with the lottery. It’s not until the King’s own daughter is in jeopardy that the King releases Galen in the hopes Galen can actually end the Dragon menace. Along the journey, Galen discovers one of their party is not what they seem (no, not a traitor)…

So, this early 190’s fantasy film still looks beautiful (not something that most movies with special effects from that era can say), and is still interesting. As stated in the title of the review/write up, the Dragon in this movie is still one of my favourite designs of a Dragon in movies, ever. Maybe it’s second to Smaug, now, though I’ll decide that after the third and final Hobbit movie. Still, this movie, in my opinion, still hold up well. I heartily suggest this as a must watch for any fan of the Fantasy genre.


Vampire Week Movie 7 – Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) – Full Circle

DracposSo, here we are, with the seventh and last movie of our Vampire movie week. With this movie, 1992’s Bram Stoker’s Dracula, we have in a away returned to the beginning. Our first movie of our Vampire week, 1979’s Dracula starring Frank Langella, and tonight’s movie, Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), are both retellings of the classic Dracula story.

Starring the great Gary Oldman as Count Dracula, and taking place primarily in 1897 (with some important scenes happening in 1462). Count Dracula has decided to purchase several properties in London, England and his case has been handed to a new solicitor (like a lawyer), Jonathan Harker (played by Keanu Reeves, with the absolutely worse English accent I have heard in I don’t know how long). Harker has taken on Dracula’s portfolio from a Mr Renfield (played extremely well by Tom Waits), who has since gone completely insane. Harker must travel to Transylvania to meet with Count Dracula to discuss his plan to purchase Carfax Abbey. Once in the hands of Dracula, he soon finds that he is a prisoner. While there are some perks (there are some pretty sexy vampire chicks), he escapes, a changed man, and heads back to London. Dracula, himself changed from a decrepit, creepy old man, to a now dashing young gentleman, has put a spell on Harker’s fiancé, Mina (played by Winona Rider who also struggles with her accent… though nothing like Keanu’s). Oh… He also seduces, rapes and drains Lucy, Mina’s friend. Yeah, this is Dracula – he does stuff like that. Enter Van Helsing, (portrayed by Anthony Hopkins) everybody’s favourite Vampire hunter.

Okay – this is the classic Dracula story, retold in 1992 with a good cast and a big budget. Director Francis Ford Coppola did a good job bringing the story back to the screen in this very watchable retelling. Is it better than the 1979 version? I wouldn’t say so, but it is good enough to watch and enjoy. Also, it’s good enough to forgive that awful accent of Reeve’s. Check out the trailer below:


Nightscares (1994)–Oh What a Piece of Crap They Dreamed Up Here

nightscaresThis 1994 movie starring the always hot Elizabeth Hurley absolutely sucks. I like bad movies but someone owes me some freakin’ time back. Oh, and it is also known as “Beyond Bedlam.”

I watched this on Netflix, as it was a recommended watch. I think Netflix might hate me.

The movie (attempts) to tell the story of a Doctor who is injecting a notorious criminal with a new drug that she hopes will cure him of his homicidal ways. It doesn’t and allows him to enter peoples dreams and them to kill themselves.

Yeah…screw that shit.

Don’t watch this, even if you’ve got the biggest crush on Elizabeth Hurley… Don’t watch it.

This movie is so crappy that I can’t even find a trailer for it.


The Zombie Diaries (2006)–Everyone Attached to This Film Should Be Ashamed of Themselves

zdbSo I watched the 2006 movie, Zombie Diaries last night. It was easily the worse zombie movie I’ve seen.

It was worse than Zombie Babies (which I also hated).

Everyone attached to this movie should have been banned from ever attempting to create anything artistic. And guess what? They made a sequel.

So… What’s wrong with the movie? It’s boring and poorly made. Oh, did I mention that it was boring?

Don’t watch this piece of shit.

Trailer? Oh, why the hell not:


The Zombie Diaries (2006)–Everyone Attached to This Film Should Be Ashamed of Themselves

zdbSo I watched the 2006 movie, Zombie Diaries last night. It was easily the worse zombie movie I’ve seen.

It was worse than Zombie Babies (which I also hated).

Everyone attached to this movie should have been banned from ever attempting to create anything artistic. And guess what? They made a sequel.

So… What’s wrong with the movie? It’s boring and poorly made. Oh, did I mention that it was boring?

Don’t watch this piece of shit.

Trailer? Oh, why the hell not:


The Legend of Hell House (1973) – Creepy British Horror

The_Legend_of_Hell_House1973’s British production, The Legend of Hell House is a stylish, early 1970s horror movie that kind of surprised me. You see, I usually find 60’s and 70’s British horror to be boring… and mostly crap. With the exception of some (but not all) Hammer films. Well I am glad to say The Legend of Hell House is an exception to this.

The story is basically this: A millionaire, Mr. Deutsch hires a group of “specialists” to investigate a purported Haunted house, The Belasco House, in an effort to either prove or disprove  life after death. The Belasco house had been the home of Emeric Belasco, a rumoured, evil giant of a man who reportedly held massive orgies in the home. Later, after the death of Belasco, people who entered the house either died or suffered insanity.

In the 1950s, a group that entered and tried to get to the bottom of the hauntings ended in tragedy. The only survivor, a 15 year old physical medium named Ben Fisher survived. Now, in 1974, Ben (played by Roddy McDowell), along with physicist Dr. Lionel Barrett (Clive Revill), his wife, Ann Barrett (Gayle Hunnicutt) and spiritual medium Florence Tanner (Pamela Franklin) make up the new team that was hired to investigate.

The fist night together in Belasco House, the group partakes in a séance (or sitting). During this sitting, Florence claims to be channel a spirit, and in a weird, manly voice warns and threatens the group, while physical objects around the room are shaken and moved without anyone touching them. While the group is shaken up, Dr. Barrett believes that there must be a scientific reason for the events.

As the days go by, Florence is visited by what appears to be several spirits, but most notably, one claiming to be Belasco’s son, asking to be released. These visits seem to end with Florence being physically attacked – even by an evil, determined black cat.

Florence isn’t the only one being targeted – they all are. Ann Barrett, becomes temporarily possessed while sleep walking and tries to engage Ben in sex. Ben, realizing it is the spirit talking and not really Ann, slaps her awake – she comes to and runs away. – A note: Ann is pretty hot – Ben must have used some serious will power here-. Also, during another sitting, Dr. Barrett is targeted by flying objects that are hurled in his direction seemingly by invisible hands. Dr. Barrett, though, is still convinced that this can be explained scientifically.

Barrett has a large piece of equipment delivered to the house that I think drains the ethereal energy of the house – Florence attempts to destroy the machine but fails. Barrett starts up his machine and gets to work. While they are doing so, Florence gets up and enters the chapel of the house… where tragedy befalls her. While this is happening, in the room with the machine, Dr. Barrett believes that the machine has done it’s job, and even Ben agrees, declaring the home “clear.” Well, almost immediately a bunch of crap happens and Dr. Barrett is killed. Ann and Ben enter the chapel, and find Florence dead. Ben, coming to a realization, hurls accusations at the spirit, belittling it, and soon they discover a hidden chamber… and the truth of the evil Emeric Belasco…

Well, as I stated at the beginning of this post, I generally find British horror from this time boring , but I enjoyed this quite a bit. It was an interesting story and the acting was good. Not a lot of gore, but that’s okay. Should you watch it? That’s completely up to you.

Check out the trailer below:


Strippers Vs. Werewolves (2012) – Way Better Than I Expected

Okay… Now I expected Strippers Vs.Werewolves to be bad, really bad. I really didn’t expect much at all from this film. Man was I wrong: this was a really fun film.

Lets see… Werewolves and other creatures of the night exist, and one gets killed by a stripper when she gets scare while performing a private dance for him and stabs him in the eye socket with a silver pen. The club owner, who has experience with werewolves, hatches a plan to get rid of the body.

Meanwhile, back at werewolf headquarters, they are starting to miss their now dead werewolf friend and start hunting for him. 

About this time, we find out that the stripper who killed the werewolf is engaged to be married to one of the werewolves, though she doesn’t know he’s a werewolf. Funny thing: he doesn’t know that she’s a stripper and is the one that killed the member of his pack.

So, the werewolves leave a trail of death on their search for the killer of their brother, while the strippers prepare for the inevitable werewolf onslaught.

Stylishly filmed, and the actors actually act. There are a few familiar faces (Hey Guy Ritchie – did you try to make a horror film?). Now, I’m not saying this film deserves any awards, and to be honest it is a little too long for the amount of actual story. It’s low budget, and for a werewolf film, you never see a transformation from man to wolf – just one moment you see the human face, then the next moment they’re a werewolf. Also, Robert Eglund gets top billing but does sweet f#$% all in this film – he’s a ruse to get people to watch (I hate when film makers pull that kind of crap). That said, it’s a fun action packed, silly film that deserves to be watched.

Here’s the trailer:


Outland (1981) – Sean Connery Kicking Ass as a Federal Marshal – In Space

Let me start by saying that I like this movie. I first saw it as a kid, and found it boring and dumb back then, but am glad to say that my opinion has now changed.

Set in a titanium mine on Jupiter’s moon, IO, Federal Marshal William O’Niel (Sean Connery) is assigned to the stating to lead it’s security detail – something that should be routine. Well, if this was going to be a routine assignment then this wouldn’t be much of a movie, right? Luckily, things don’t stay routine – for us, at least.

Not a very fast moving film, it is filled with darkness and a foreboding feeling. This mine is not an overly happy place. Soon, miners start acting weird and doing inexplicably psychotic things that either cause death to themselves – There’s a problem on IO. Seems as though Marshal O’Niel has a drug problem in the mine to fight – and a bad one at that. Add to the fact that the drugs are being supplied by the leader of the mine, Mark Sheppard (played by Peter Boyle), who also starts a campaign to have Marshal O’Niel eliminated. A great performance is also had by Frances Sternhagen (you might not know the name, but you most probably will recognize her from countless roles) as the jaded, but ethical Doctor Lazarus. Also – look out for John Ratzenberger of Cheers fame – he’s in here somewhere…

Dark, moody and plodding may not sound like positive things to say about a movie, but in this case they are positives. This movie is supposed to be Dark, moody and plodding. If you’re looking for a sci-fi movie with a lot of action, well this isn’t it. If you’re looking for a sci-fi movie with depth and drama, watch this. Plus, it freakin’ has Sean Connery in it. Add a few exploding heads due to rapid decompression and you have a most watchable movie. That’s easy to do as I just discovered that the whole thing is available on Youtube – you’ll find that right after the trailer, below.

Check out the trailer here:

And the Whole movie right here:


Quartermass and the Pit (1967) – A British Sci-Fi Masterpiece

A classic Hammer Sci-Fi film from 1967, Quartermass and the Pit, a suggestion from a reader – and a great suggestion at that. This is  a film that I had planned on watching for a long time, and I am glad I finally got around to it.

Crews working at a London Underground station unearth a some primitive ape-man skeletons. Soon, scientists are called in to take over the dig, and then the military when they find what is first believed to be a bomb, but turns out to be an ancient Martian spacecraft, along what appears to be it’s original, insect like crew. While the aliens have long passed away, the ship itself turns out to be alive in some way, and starts projecting ancient Martian memories to the London public, causing mayhem and panic. It is, of course, up to the scientists to save everyone.

Here is the plot description from Wikipedia, as I am not doing the film justice with my description – be forewarned, almost all Wikipedia plot descriptions give away everything:

Workers building an extension to the London Underground at Hobbs End dig up skeletal remains.Palaeontologist Dr Matthew Roney (James Donald) is called in and deduces that they are the remnants of a group of apemen over five million years old, more ancient than any previous finds. One of Roney’s assistants uncovers part of a metallic object. Believing it to be an unexploded bomb, they call in an army bomb disposal team.

Meanwhile, Professor Bernard Quatermass (Andrew Keir) is dismayed to learn that his plans for the colonisation of the Moon are to be taken over by the military. He gives a cold reception to Colonel Breen (Julian Glover) who has been assigned to join Quatermass’ British Experimental Rocket Group. When the bomb disposal team call for Breen’s assistance, Quatermass accompanies him to the site. Breen concludes it is a V-weapon, but Quatermass disagrees. When another skeleton is found in an inner chamber, Quatermass and Roney realise that the object must also be five million years old. Quatermass suspects it is of alien origin, but Roney is certain the apemen are terrestrial.

Quatermass becomes intrigued by the name of the area, recalling that “hob” is an old name for theDevil. Working with Roney’s assistant, Barbara Judd (Barbara Shelley), Quatermass finds historical accounts of hauntings and other spectral appearances going back over many centuries. They deduce that these events coincided with any disturbances of the ground around Hobbs End.

An attempt to open a sealed chamber using a borazon drill fails to make any progress. However, a few moments after the drill is stopped, a small hole is seen, though the drill operator, Sladden (Duncan Lamont), is certain it was not created by his machine. The hole widens to reveal the contents: the corpses of three-legged, insectoid creatures with horned heads. Roney and Judd work to preserve the bodies before they decay. An examination of the creatures’ physiology suggests they came from the planet Mars. Quatermass and Roney note the similarity between the appearance of the creatures and the Devil.

Sladden is overcome by a powerful telekinetic force emanating from the missile and flees to the sanctuary of a church. Sladden tells Quatermass he saw a vision of hordes of the creatures from the missile. Quatermass believes this is a race memory. Seeking proof, he returns to Hobbs End, bringing a machine Roney has been working on which taps into the primeval psyche. While trying to replicate the circumstances under which Sladden was affected, he notices that Judd has fallen under its influence. Using Roney’s machine, he is able to record her thoughts.

Quatermass presents his theory to a government minister (Edwin Richfield) and other officials. The occupants of the missile came from the dying Mars. Unable to survive on Earth, they chose to preserve some part of their race by creating a colony by proxy by significantly enhancing the intelligence of the natives. The descendants of these apemen evolved into modern humans but retain the vestiges of the Martian influence buried in their subconscious. He plays the recording of Judd’s mind as evidence: it shows hordes of Martians engaged in what he interprets as a racial purge, cleansing the Martian hives of weaker members of the race. A disbelieving Breen offers an alternative theory: the missile is a Nazi propaganda exercise designed to sow fear of an alien invasion among the populace. The minister rejects Quatermass’ theory in favour of Breen’s and decides to unveil the missile to the press.

Disaster strikes at the press event. The missile apparently draws power from the broadcasting equipment, and its influence is magnified. The streets of London erupt into violence as those affected go on a rampage. Breen becomes drawn towards the missile and is killed. Quatermass falls under alien control as well, but is snapped out of it by Roney, who is unaffected. The two men realise that a small portion of the population are immune. The psychic energy becomes stronger, ripping up streets and buildings, and the spectral image of a Martian towers over the city, centred on Hobbs End. Recalling stories about how the Devil could be defeated with iron and water, Quatermass theorises the alien energy could be discharged into the earth. Roney climbs to the top of a building crane and swings it into the spectre. The crane bursts into flames as it discharges the energy, killing Roney. With this, the image disappears. As Quatermass and Judd rest amongst the rubble of Hobbs End, Fire Engine and Police bells can be heard ringing in the distance.

This is a true Science Fiction classic that deserves so much more attention than it gets. I cannot recommend this film enough, if you are a real Sci-Fi fan. Intelligently written and well acted with an original plot – more than most movies (especially ones highlighted on this site), it is actually available in it’s entirety on Youtube – so you have NO reason not to see it.

Check out the trailer here:

And watch the whole movie here:


Suggested Film: Quatermass and the Pit

I watched this, thought it was going to be terrible, and it was awesome. Watch it for great justice!

**Great suggestion! I am a fan of the Hammer films, and have read that this is a classic. Also a BBC TV series, I have been planning on watching this for some time, but somnething always seems to get in the way. Sooner will definitely be better, and I will write up my poor synopsis when done.

Thanks!


They Came From Beyond Space (1967) – Boring British Sci-Fi

A British Sci-Fi film from 1967, They Came from Beyond Space is a lack lustre, uninspired flick that barely kept my attention.

The premise is that what seem to meteors fall to earth. When they are investigated by top scientists, those scientists become controlled by another, alien intelligence that puts them to work on a plan to build ships to help these Aliens to return to their original planet. One scientist is not affected as he has a silver plate in his skull from surgery after a car accident – the plate interferes with the mind control method used by these aliens. This scientist leads the battle against the aliens. Add a plague that makes peoplk seem dead, so that the aliens can take the bodies to the moon where they are revived and used as slaves.

There you go – that is They Came From Beyond Space. Should you watch it? You decide. It is freely available as it has slipped into the public domain.

Here is a clip:

And here is the whole movie:


The Curse of Frankenstein. Zzzzz…

So, I watched the 1957 Hammer film, The Curse of Frankenstein. Staring Peter Cushing as Doctor Frankenstein and Christopher Lee as the Monster in this stylistic British period pieces. Well acted, well written and a little boring, this movie suffered from the too much talking and not enough monster action. Perhaps I started watching it a little too late in the evening, and that may have made it seem more boring than it was… I don’t know, Hammer Films are good films, and this is not a bad film, just a little long winded. Christopher Lee makes an awesome Monster, and actually one of the better looking ones, in my opinion – I just wish we had seen more of him. So, I am disappointed with this film, but it’s not terrible. I’ll be watching more Hammer Films in the future, as the are great Film company, and their Dracula series is top notch (and also stars Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee). Expect to see a few of those discussed here in the future.

Check out the trailer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON71xzKGujY