I’m Not Dead Yet!!! (And a Crap-Load of Pics From the 2015 Calgary Horror Convention)
I am do damned sorry for my complete inactivity over the last year – No excuses other than a new job back in August 2014… and me being lazy.
Hopefully that will change soon.
As an apology, please enjoy a crap load of pictures from the 2015 Calgary Horror Convention that took place in June of 2015.
The Conspiracy (2012)–Interesting, If Wordy Mocumentary
Watched the 2012 Canadian mocumentary movie, The Conspiracy. It is kind of wordy but pretty interesting. Check out the video for the full review!
Robocop 1987 Vs. Robocop 2014
Hey folks! Here is my Review/comparison of 1987’s Robocop versus 2014’s Robocop. I loved the original and was a little (okay, more than a little)…nervous…yeah, nervous about the reboot. Well, it’s pretty good. Better than the original? Chaeck out my video review below and find out.
Also, when you are done that, go to colexions.com to check out all the retro gaming goodness there.
Hola Spanish Friends!
Just thought I’d share the fact that for the first time since I set this blog up, I have had more visitors from Spain than any other country, today.
Welcome and please tell your friends that they are welcome here also!
Calgary Horror Con 2013 Was Amazing!!!
Thank you to everyone that made the Calgary Horror Convention an AMAZING event. A fantastic lineup of guests, including a reunion of the cast from the fantastic 1990 remake of Night of the Living Dead: Bill Moseley, Tom Savini, Patricia Tallman and Tony Todd,
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- Tony Todd posing with a friend of mine
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- Looking hotter than ever!
Food of the Gods (1976) – Well At Least There Was a Giant Chicken
Well, this was a movie.
1976’s Food of the Gods is the supposed to be the story of nature (or more precisely the Ecology) striking back at man for all that he has done to harm it. Okay… Morgan (played by Marjoe Gortner), who is a professional football player and some of his buddies head to an island that I believe is supposed to be in British Columbia, Canada for a relaxing hunting trip. One of the first things that happens, is one of the buddies is attacked by giant, very badly applied special effects wasps. Hell, it took me a bit to figure out that they were wasps, that’s how bad the special effect was. Anyway, the guy dies from the wasp attack. They find their way to a farmhouse on the island, looking for a phone to call emergency services. Getting no answer after knocking, Morgan notices some movement from a shed and goes to investigate. Man… he is immediately attacked by a giant, freakin’ chicken. That’s right: a giant chicken. And it’s quite the fight, too. So, after the chicken fight, the enter the house and are confronted by a gun wielding Mrs Skinner, who’s waiting for the return of her husband (who was killed by giant rats in an earlier scene I didn’t mention). Taking the gun from her, she tells the guys how she and Mr Skinner discovered a bubbling spring of a mysterious white liquid on their property. At first they thought it might be oil, but once they figured that wasn’t the case they decided to mix it with chicken feed…and feed it to the chickens. They found out that when young chicks eat the stuff, that they call Food of the Gods, the chicks grow to be huge – like the one that attacked Morgan. Mr Skinner had planned to sell the rights to the stuff to get rich. Unfortunately, insects and mice and rats all got into the stuff too and now the island is over run with giant rats and mice and wasps and maggots… It’s a mess. Throw in a couple stranded when there Winnebago gets stuck, an selfish research scientist and his assistant and yo have a crazy, giant rat infested mess of a movie.
This movie isn’t very good, but it is fun. Fun if you like B-Movies, that is. The effects are terrible, but that’s what I expected. I don’t know if I would suggest this movie, but I’m glad I saw it.
Here’s the trailer:
Exit Wounds (2001) – Exit Steven Seagal’s Movie Career
I watched 2001’s Steven Seagal action Schlockfest for one reason and one reason only: It was filmed in Calgary, Alberta Canada – the city that I call home.
Shortly after I moved to Calgary, there was a bit of a buzz about the Steven Seagal movie being filmed here, mostly due to a scene that was to be filmed an a bridge that is a local historical bridge. There was going to be explosions and stuff… typical action movie stuff.
It’s funny to watch a movie that is supposed to take place in Detroit and being able to recognize almost every single landmark as part of the Canadian city you live in…
Okay, now about the movie: You know that action movie you watched with that actor and he’s a cop, and he’s surrounded by bad cops, and the bad guy really isn’t the bad guy? This is that movie with Steven Seagal and DMX. I think that’s enough. No worse than most of Seagal’s movies and better than some. If you like these movies then you’ll do okay with this one and if you don’t like these movies then stay away. As far as I can tell, this is one of the last Steven Seagal movies to get a major theatrical release
Here’s the trailer:
The Last Chase (1981) – Lee Majors Takes Chris Makepeace on a Ride He’ll Never Forget (But Probably Should)
I watched this movie as a kid on TV back in the day – possibly 1981 or 1982 and freakin’ loved it. I mean, come on: it starred Lee Majors (you know, the Six Million Dollar Man – just the coolest guy ever), and Chris Makepeace (the then up and coming Canadian actor and co-star of the awesome Bill Murray film, Meatballs), and they were driving a freakin’ race car across a post plague stricken United States while the governed send out Burgess Meredith in a 1950s era F-86 Sabre fighter jet to kill him.
Lee Major’s plays an ex racecar driver, Franklyn Hart who has had trouble fitting into the new post plague U.S. with it’s overbearing governement and new no cars policy. In an effort to fight back, he plans on driving himself in his Porsche race car across the States to Free California.
Before he has a chance, he’s joined by genius mis-fit Chris Makepeace, who has been hacking government computers, and being a jerk. He forces himself along for the ride (of course) and along the way, the two become friends.
The Government wants to do anything they can to prevent Hart from reaching California and possible becoming a folk hero, and bring Air Force pilot Captain J.G. Williams (Burgess Meredith) out of retirement and plop him into an out dated jet with instructions to stop Hart. One problem: Williams is more into this for the fun, and actually sympathizes with Hart. Despite a few brushes with him, Williams takes it easy on him, and eventually end up saving Hart by sacrificing himself.
Ok… This movie has not aged well, and is once again proof that somethings are best left as great memories. Still, I am glad I re-watched it. Sure, it`s terrible but I had fun. I don`t think I could really recommend it, but I will anyway.
Here is the trailer:
Orca: The Killer Whale – A Mammalian Version Of Jaws… Sort Of
1977’s Orca – The Killer Whale was obviously an attempt to ride the wave created by the Buzz of Jaws, released just two years prior.
Starring Richard Harris as as Captain Nolan, a salty Irish-Canadian fisherman who is determined to catch a killer whale to sell to an aquarium so he can finally pay off his boat. Also starring a terrible wooden actress by the name of Charlotte Rampling as Rachel Bedford, a local writer and Whale specialist who almost made me gouge my eyes out due to her emotionless, borring voice and acting. Harris is, fine – portraying a salty fisherman quiet well. It’s just…she sucked badly.
Anyway, Harris’ character attempts to catch an Orca live, but the attempt goes horrible wrong when the whale attempts to kill it’s self by forcing itself into the boats propellers. They manage to hoist the whale aboard, but the whale immediately aborts it’s foetus. All this is watched, closely by the whales mate. The remaining whale begins a course of revenge against Harris and his mates. Eventually, Harris drops the captured whale back into the ocean, too late for her to be saved.
Over the next however long, the whale manages to disable evey boat but Harris’ in the harbour – he wants to fight Harris at sea. Harris’ obliges.
I guess this is an attempt at a modern Moby Dick. Despite Charlotte Rampling’s shitty acting, I found this film somewhat compelling. It’s also an attemp (I think) to make a “smart Jaws.” Jaws was about a mindless eating maching that just did what it was programmed to do: eat and swim. Orca is about an intelligent, thinking animal that methodically plots and extracts revenge against the man who killed it’s mate.
Interesting, and despite some low points, quite watchable. I say go for it!
Here is the trailer:
Mazes and Monsters (1982) – Tom Hanks Walks on The Nerdy Side of the Tracks
Way back in the early 1980s there was a gaming craze that was gathering popularity – Role Playing games, and the number one game of that genre was (and still is) called Dungeons and Dragons. Like any craze that involves youths using there imagination to envision something fantastic, there were people with too much time on their hands that had to put their nose in others business and tell them that fantasy role playing games were dangerous. Hell, they would lead to youths descending into a fantasy world in their mind and never come back. Mazes and Monsters is a movie that attempts to warn one of these evils – like the anti-drug movies of the 1950s and 1960s.
Starring one time famous Canadian actor, Chris Makepeace (of Meatballs fame) and then star of the popular sitcom Bosom Buddies, Tom Hanks – yes, that Tom Hanks. This isn’t Tom Hanks first movie, as that dubious distinction goes to the movie, He Knows You’re Alone. Still, I doubt he talks about this film much.
So, what can I say about this amazing piece of Canadian made movie obscurity? Aside from it’s terrible? Not very much, I guess.
Four friends gather together to play a popular role playing game called Mazes and 
monsters. Pretty normal, but one of them, the misfit rich kid, played by Chris Makepeace discovers some near by caves and suggests that they take their game to the next level – Larping. What is Larping? Larping stand for Live Action Role Playing – that’s when nerds get together and dress up as their role playing characters and act out their role playing game. Well that’s what they decide to do. Unfortunately the experience sends Tom Hanks’ already mentally delicate character over the edge into a world were he believes he is his character. Tom then takes off for New York to complete a fantasy quest that is in his mind – sending him into danger – Oh and he messes up a bum in an alleyway who he perceives to be a dragon – Yeah…
So, his friends have to find and save him, which of course ends in a nail biting race against time.
This movie is very silly, and has definitely not aged well. That being said, it is interesting to see Tom Hanks so early in his career – he has come a long way since then. At lease it’s easy to find the movie: it’s available in full on Youtube. Check it out if you can stomach it.
Here is a clip of Tom Hanks freaking out:
And here’s the entire movie, in all it’s cheezy glory:
Spacehunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone (1983) – A Fun, Silly Space Adventure
A silly movie from 1983, Spacehunter: Adventure in the Forbidden Zone plays homage to the pulp Sci-Fi movies and stories of yesteryear. A simple story: a commercial transport ship (like an ocean liner in space) gets hit by debris while travelling near a nova and people have to abandon ship – Salvage operator Wolff (played by Peter Strauss) heads out to rescue a group of three women that escaped in one pod and landed on the bleak, forsaken plague planet Terra XI.
Upon landing on the planet Wolff with his Engineer,engineer Chalmers (the attractive Andrea Marcovicci), they find themselves in the middle of a pitched battle between two factions of natives for the control of the stranded Earth women. 
Before Wolf is able to rescue them, the women are captured and taken to the “Chemist” to be prepared for the pleasure of the Overdog (played by Michael Ironsides), the leader of the most powerful faction on the planet. During the battle Chalmer is “killed” (watch it and you’ll know why there’s quotes around killed), and Wolff meets a teenage “Scav” (short for scavenger” named Niki (played by Molly Ringwald) who agrees to be his guide… well, more accurately forces herself in as guide. Soon they come under attack of a large bulldozer type vehicle, which they find is being codriven by an old acquaintance of Wolff’s from the Military, Washington (played by the venerable Ernie Hudson), who reveals that he too is there to rescue the women and collect the reward (300 Mega credits). Despite refusing Washington’s suggestion that they work together to rescue the woman, eventually circumstances for the trio to work together to stay alive and battle the Overlord and his minions.
This truly is a simple, silly film that is just plain fun. It’s fitting that this was originally released in 3D, during the brief 3D resurgence that happened in the first half of the 1980s, as many of the cheezy 1950’s Sci-Fi films that it pays homage to were originally released in 3D. There’s not a whole lot of scenes where things are thrust into the views… err.. view, so it doesn’t lose anything being watched in 2D. I recommend this movie if you want a break froim movies where you need to use your brain, and If you like silly films (and if you don’t, why are you on this blog anyway?), then I think you might like this light adventure.
Check out the trailer here:
Watching the Awesome Classic, Scanners (1981)
Tonight’s movie is the 1981 classic, Scanners. That makes two David Cronenberg movies in less than a week.. Scanners, and if you haven’t seen it before is the story of a group of people with the ability to “Scan” other people minds. This allows them to read minds and cause all kinds of havoc (including some awesomely gruesome head exploding action). Staring Michael Ironside, this movie does not fail to deliver. Action, good acting, storyline and great direction makes this a must watch – and a possible re-watch if you haven’t seen it before.
Check out the trailer below:
David Cronenberg’s The Brood (1979)
Tonight we are watching the 1979 David Cronenberg psychological Sci-Fi horror film, The Brood. A Canadian film but with a universal appeal.
This one folks, is a good one. Cronenberg knows how to make a movie and this one is no exception. A series of murders apparently committed by children, somehow intertwined with a popular psychotherapist’s radical technique called “psychoplasmics.”
A smartly written movie that really makes you think which is unusual in any genre. Good acting and a good story line combined with pretty good production means this isn’t a bad movie, but it is a “different” movie which is good enough for me to put it on the list. Available on Amazon and well worth it.
Check out the trailer here:
I Like Bad Movies 