So, a small town is invaded by a life form from space that looks a lot like a giant multiple headed lamprey with a penchant for making slug like babies (lots of them), and eating the locals. A group of four geeky science nerd teens and a young boy do their best to save the town (and most likely the world) from this infestation. It’s kind of weird that three of our movies had similar themes and creatures (Slither, Night of the Creeps and Deadly Spawn), not in that they are alien infestation movies (it’s kind of the theme), but the fact that the three creatures in the mentioned movies all propagate by releasing slug like grubs, liked to enter through the mouth id possible, and the main “mother” creature found someplace out of the way to grow and develop. Well, if they copied each other, this is the progenitor of all of ‘em. A silly movie, Deadly Spawn stays entertaining, and cheezy which is perfect for me. Lots of campiness to go around, and some really questionable actions by it’s characters may make you moan at times…but don’;t let that stop you from enjoying the movie. A true representative of it’s time, the early 1980’s, it still stands out as a fun, throwback to the creature features of the 50’s and 60’s…
Watch this film, my friends!
So, this week is dedicated to Alien Based Horror movies. I expect a few possible turkeys, but I believe it’s going to be fun anyway. I am a fan of Science Fiction (Sci-Fi) and horror, and the two mix reasonable well at the hands of competent film makers… and some horribly awesome films when created by bad film makers. I hope we get to see both sides of the coin this week.
We haven’t filled the roster of films yet, so if you have a suggestion or two, feel free to send them on over by using this link:
Night Of The Living Dead: Resurrection (2012)–You Know What? Maybe It’s Time For Amateurs To Leave Night Of The Living Dead Alone
Well you know enough about this movie now. Don’t bother wasting your time on this long winded, waste of time movie that uses the Night of the Living Dead namesake. It’s just plain boring. I really think that if you are going to butcher a movie, butcher your own movie and leave Night of the Living Dead out of it. Make up a new Zombie Movie name of your own and go with it… Ah,right, but why would anyone watch it? So, why not tack on a title of an iconic movie and hope to snag unsuspecting horror fans…
Screw you folks – you suck at making movies.
2013’s Free Ride stars Anna Paquin and is based on a true story as a mom in the 1970’s that escapes an abusive relationship with her kids and heads to Florida. Once there she starts working for a major pot importer whom she meets through a friend. She is raising two daughters and not doing a particular job about that. Stuff happens, people get hurt/go to jail etc…
Okay, the acting isn’t bad in this film, but the story is freakin’ boring. Coming in at only an hour and twenty-six minutes, it felt like a damned eternity. You know, just because you have a story to tell, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should, We learn that the story/movie is written by one of the daughters… Next time stick to your diary, as this is a waste of time.
Check out the trailer below, but don’t be fooled by it as it’s all smoke and mirrors – the trailer is all you really need.
It’s a piece of crap with a stupid plot, a stupid attempt at a “twist”… and I’m sure some freakin’ hipster will defend it as the direction of the new “Artcore” movement.
Just because you call a piece of crap a rose, doesn’t make it a rose.
So, a girl starts college, and her partying new dorm mate invites her to a party. Once there she’s introduced to “Smiley” – You get in an Internet chat room with someone, and while you are there, you type “I did it for the lulz” three times, and magically a distorted smiley face character comes out of know where and kills the person on the other side of the chat window. Not a terrible idea for a horror movie, but unfortunately, it is a terrible horror movie. I’m not even 100% sure where it went off the track, but it was one of those movies where you just end up waiting for it to end.
Don’t bother with this piece of crap folks… Unless you are the hipster that is going to email me about “Artcore” = and if you are, spare yourself and me the time and don’t bother formulating that email.
Screw the trailer, as this movie doesn’t deserve the posting of a trailer here.
So, yeah, the other night my buddy was going through options on Netflix when Hobo With a Shotgun popped up. Now, we’ve both watched Hobo many times (Hell, I watched it in the theatre twice). Why did we re-watch a low budget, silly-ass pseudo-Grindhouse movie? Why do we continue to re-watch a low budget, silly-ass pseudo-Grindhouse movie? Because it’s freakin’ awesome, that’s why!
Some movies are just easy for me to re-watch and this just happens to be one of those movies. Is it a great movie? No – it is a great silly, brutal over the top crazy movie. So over the top that every once in a while I watch it again. And again.
If you haven’t already, you should check out Hobo anyway you can. As mentioned, it’s on U.S. Netflix currently and can be found for cheap on DVD and Blu-Ray (check out my post about finding it for a great price here). Hobo tells the story of a…well, Hobo (played by the great Rutger Hauer), who finds himself in a new, crappy, dirty corrupt city. He fights back against the ruling family to make a difference. You know why? ‘Cause he’s the Hobo With a Shotgun.
So don’t be stupid, watch Hobo With a Shotgun (again, if you already have).
So I watched the 2013 horror movie, Nurse, (also known as Nurse 3D), last night. Yeah, that really is all I should say, but I feel if I left it at that you might not know how much I think this movie sucks.
Well, it really sucks. Bad acting, casting and script – a perfect storm of crappiness. It’s a story of a Nurse by day that kills cheating men by night… Not the worse concept – too bad whomever these people are were the ones who decided to make a movie about it.
If you were part of the creating of this crapfest then I hope you understand how crappy it is.
Oh, did I mention Judd Nelson is in it? No? And Kathleen Turner has a bit part? I didn’t? Must because they were eclipsed by the crappiness of it all.
And here is the crappy trailer for this crappy movie:
Watchmojo.com put together their picks for the top 10 worst CGI effects in big budget movies. I would have a hard time nailing down 10 if I had to as there are so many to pick from. Still, this list definitely has dome good pics. Check it out below:
When 1974’s horror movie, It’s Alive was released, there was the creepiest commercial for the movie where you see a baby carriage, and hear what appears to be a normal baby cry…but as the camera pans around the baby carriage, you see a big monster hand coming out from inside the pram… Well that commercial used to scare the living crap out of me… seriously (hey, I was 4 or 5 at the time). Well, today I finally faced down that fear and watched the movie.
Check out that scary (for a 4 or 5 year old) TV spot here:
It’s Alive tells the tale of a couple, Frank and Lenore Davis (John Ryan and Sharon Farrell), who give birth to a child that is nothing short of a monster. The initial birth is a little tough, as the baby is larger than a normal baby, but the doctor is still confident is all right… Next thing you know the delivery room is full of the dead or dying bodies of the doctors an nurses that were assisting in the birth… and a monster baby is on the loose in the city of Los Angeles.
Dad wants the baby dead because it’s an abomination who’s existence has caused the loss of his job, and the ruination of his family. The big drug companies want the baby dead in the off chance he’s a by product of there chemicals. And the police want the baby dead… because it’s killing people. The only one that seems not to want the baby dead is the mother… at first, at least.
This is definitely a creepy movie, and reasonable well done, if a little slow. Having been as scared as I was of the damned commercial as a child, I do wish the movie was scarier than it is, though I am happy that it doesn’t totally suck. An interesting concept and if the idea sounds like something that you’d like, then definitely watch it.
Check out the trailer below and decide for yourself:
Telling the story of a female gang, know as the Dagger Debs (a sub gang made of the girl friends of The Daggers, and all male gang), run by tough chick Lace (played by Robbie Lee) who rules her gang through fear. Soon a small time confrontation in a diner ends with a new member of the gang, Maggie, who impressed Lace with her whip like skills and lack of fear.Lace and Maggie grow closer, which get’s fellow gang member, Patch (played by Monica Gayle), jealous as Maggie seems to be displacing her as Lace’s right hand girl. At the same time, Dominic (played by Asher Brauner), leader of the Daggers and Lace’s man takes a fancy to Maggie, forcing himself on her in her home one night. Seeing an opportunity, Patch starts laying the seeds of dissent by planting the idea that Maggie is actually after Dominic.
After a raid on a rival gang at a roller rink goes bad, and Dominic is killed, and Lace ends up in the hospital, Maggie decides that the remaining Daggers are just too weak to follow, she brings the girls to a “Black” neighbourhood and meets up with some militaristic woman gang members whom they team up with to take out that rival gang. Successfully destroying the rivals, now a conflict breaks out between Lace and Maggie. Believing Maggie is trying to usurp her as leader, and that she was trying to take Dominic (before he died of course), Maggie and Lace engage in a switchblade fight…
Okay, enough… I actually had fun watching this terrible movie. There are very few redeeming qualities to this film, or even this genre of film, but it is damn fun. The incredible cheeziness of the script, acting and overall concept makes this an almost must watch!
Check out the trailer below and make your own decision.
Starting off in 1977 where we see the story of a group of Bible Campers hanging out trying to get laid and smoking dope… And eventually most of them die. Cut to 1984 and a new group is going up to the camp – mostly to die.
Where do I start? Bad plot with bad acting and bad production. Sound suffers at time (from that bad production that I just mentioned)…. and the actors and actresses are pretty ugly for the most part.
This movie is terribly stupid… but I still had fun.
Should you watch this movie? Well you freakin’ decide.
So, I finally got around to watching the 2002 movie, Resident Evil movie. Based on a video game, this movie was better than I expected but definitely not awesome. Most video game based movies, in my not so humble opinion, usually suck badly, but his one was okay.
Telling the story of a viral outbreak in Raccoon City, from a lab run by the Umbrella corporation, and the group of people that are trying to get out of that lab (and look for the anti-virus). Starring the always good Milla Jovovich as Alice, an ass kicking agent of Umbrella, with some serious issues (including memory loss), and a rag tag group of paramilitary… and a couple of other people that die. There is a lot of action and some cool looking infected mutants. The move is very similar to a Zombie tale (and I guess it is a Zombie tale), and has a decent budget. The acting, for the most part is acceptable… except one thing: Michelle Rodriguez, who plays Rain (one of the mentioned paramilitary), is just a crappy actor (actress?). Seriously – she only has one character: Tough Latino Chick. And I am tired of that friggin’ character. Honestly, take a break and try a different role Michelle…
So, the movie is action filled and fun for what it is. Not great but entertaining.
Check out the trailer below:
Have you seen Tucker and Dale Vs Evil? If you answered no to that question then go watch that, and then come back and read this.
Starring Tyler Labine and Malin Akerman as Todd Chipowski and Cammie Ryan, a young couple planning a week long romantic vacation at Todd’s family cottage. Once there, Todd plans on proposing marriage to Cammie. Once there, they are interrupted by Todd’s brother Salinger and his whacked out Euro trash girlfriend. Things get weird and wacky and some one ends up dead and then the fun starts. Ad a crap load of unexpected partiers and a very curious mystic friend… and another death, and then some lies and you have this movie.
Very obviously a Canadian film (that’s an observation, not a condemnation), the movie is a little jumbled, and it looks like they tried to go in two many directions at once and missed the mark a couple of times. Todd, to me seems like a cleaned up evolution of Tucker from the aforementioned Tucker and Dale Vs Evil, proving again that Tyler Labine can be funny in similar situations… But you know what? This movie made me laugh quite a bit, and to me that goes a long way. A bit of a mess at times, I still say go ahead and watch it. My cable has it on Video On Demand, so it’’ should be pretty easy to find.
Check out the trailer below:
Obviously looking at cashing in on the already tired Halloween franchise, this one puts the blame for Michael of some ancient curse/alignment of the stars that only happens on certain Halloween’s.
This movie sucks. They brought back the usually great Donald Pleasence, who seems frail and weak in this film – heck he passed away very shortly after completing this film, and it also stars a young Paul Rudd. Unfortunately they couldn’t secure Daniel Harris to revise her role as Jamie from the two Halloween movies prior to this one – She was too smart and they were too cheap to pay her.
You know, I could tell you more about the actual movie but I won’t waste you or my time doing so. Let me just say that your time would be better spent watching any number of other movies… Check out the original Halloween or even Rob Zombie’s remake.
This movie is boring.
2013’s Bounty Killer has been touring the movie circuit (recentlyplay at Edmonton Alberta’s Dedfest), and having recently watched it, I thought I should tell you a little about it.
Starring Christian Pitre as Mary Death and Mathew Marsden as Drifter, two Bounty Killers competing for fame and fortune in a post apocalyptic world. Like bounty hunters of today, but always bringing in their bounty dead (simpler that way). They’re pretty much against the establishment – until the establishment is destroyed by a giant Company – then they join forces to kick some corporate butt.
Oh, and there’s some personal history between Drifter and Mary Death
This feels like someone put a whole bunch of Roger Corman ideas in a blender and came up with a modern version of something that would be at home at a 1970’s drive in theatre. This is not a good movie but it is a sure a fun movie.
Don’t watch it expecting as serious film – watch it expecting something ridiculous and you will not be disappointed.
Check out the trailer below:
So, there’s report of trouble on a planet that is a social experiment with the Federation,Klingons and the Romulans – they are trying to find out if we can all live happily together. Some charismatic cult leader has taken over the place and the only folks who are close enough to do anything about it…are the the crew of the Enterprise. They show up and are quickly captured. Some are sort of hypnotized to follow their leader – a Vulcan by the name of Sybok, (played by Laurence Luckinbill), Spock’s half-brother, who is offering freedom from fear and pain, and on mission to the center of the Galaxy – to see the face of…I dunno’… GOD? Yeah, and there is a Klingon Captain that wants to make his points by killing the infamous Kirk. Oh… I can’t continue.
UGH!!! I really disliked this freakin’ movie. Go ahead an watch it if you need to. I liked this movie more when I first watched it, but really didn’t like it much then. I don’t need my Sci-Fi heroes looking for God, and Shatner is NOT A GOOD WRITER/DIRECTOR. I like William Shatner a lot and this should be his “Popeye.”
Here is the trailer for this terrible Trek movie:
Hello hello hello!
So, after recently re-watching the second movie of the Star Trek reboot, Star Trek – Into Darkness, I have decided to revisit the Star Trek Movie Franchise and with up the experience. If you are a fan of the Star Trek universe, and are actually honest to yourself, then you know that there are many bad movies in this series (and of course a few good ones, also).
I am going to review (or whatever we call what I do here on this site) at least the first Trek films (the original series films), and perhaps film seven, Generations as it combines (poorly) The Original Series and The Next Generation. Who knows: I may continue through the entire catalogue of Trek Films… Time will tell.
I am a huge fan of Star Trek, but I am very aware that some of these films are real turkeys, but I am also of the opinion some are not just good Star Trek movies, but good Sci-Fi movies in general. I will try to be fair – I hope you enjoy – Keep watching!!!
Oh Man… Watch Cheer Leader Ninjas… or perhaps, don’t.
I did and laughed a lot, though it is really very stupid. This is pretty close the lowest level of a movie, quality wise (in all areas) that I still found funny enough to not be a complete waste of my time. That’s right: it was a waste of time, just not a waste of all my time. Catholic school bad girls versus cheerleaders, a bunch of nerds and some plot of a computer virus turning people into Internet zombies… I think. Lot’s of tits and ass girls fighting girls. Totally base humour of the lowest kind, and I feel guilty admitting I laughed here and there. In some ways this movie reminded me of something Troma might have created, though I don’t think there is any link between the Troma and this film other than it’s an oddball movie, and Troma is known for oddball movies. I’m not convinced that a lot of this movie wasn’t filmed at or around some sort of school like institution, and really: way too many fart jokes (any are usually too many). But to be honest, if you can appreciate a movie for how utterly silly it is, then you too, on some weird animal part of your psyche might garner some level of entertainment from this stupid movie. Uh.. I’ve seen worse.
Here is the trailer… You decide from there:
A generic feeling early 80’s Sci-Fi movie, this is a dark and visually muddy movie. A specialist is sent to a planet where experiments in creating a high protein food source has gone awry when the creature the scientists have created (a mutant, hybrid between human and whatever), goes rogue and starts killing and transforming the crew of the outpost.
The mature creature looks a little like an obese version of the Alien from, well.. Alien, and it’s pre-transformation looks a little like a you might see inhabiting the thermal vents of the Marianas trench. The actors are people I’ve never heard of, there’s a little bit of 80’s breast and that’s it.
I’ve seen worse, but I’ve also seen much better. This movie seems to have a little bit of a cult following. I wonder if that is due to people who saw the movie at a young and impressionable age.
Anyway, I watched it on Netflix.
Here is the trailer:
Soylent Green takes place in New York City in 2022. The world is struggling to feed the masses a,d the human diet is primarily soy and plankton wafers (of different colours and quality) made by the Solent company. The wafers are found in red, yellow and the new, higher quality Soylent Green variety. When When New York city Police Detective Robert Thorn (played by Charlton Heston), is called to investigate the murder William R. Simonson, he discovers the dirty truth behind the Soylent corporation and their new wonder product, Soylent Green.
This movie paints an interesting if bleak view of the not so distant future: The humanity is struggling to feed it’s masses, while the upper crust lives in relative opulence. Rich executives have concubines (referred to as furniture) included with the rent of their homes. They get access to real foods instead of waiting in never ending lines for an allotment of tasteless survival food. Thorn’s persistent investigating turns up something very disturbing about the Soylent corporations new miracle food Soylent Green… Something that would definitely make it much less palatable .
This is an important Sci-Fi film, and I definitely suggest you watch it. It’s a bit slow, and if your Sci-Fi requires spaceships and laser guns, then don’t watch this as it will disappoint. But if you enjoy a good story then check it out.
Yeah, this is an ambitious tale, staring the usually amazing Sir Ian McKellen (actually, he’s the only strong part of this film) and a handful of others that I won’t even bother looking up. I couldn’t even pay attention, and I had NO distractions. If you read this blog even semi regularly, you know that it doesn’t take much for me to find something to like in a movie. I mean, lots of crappy 80’s synthesizer music, dry ice fog and Nazis and Demons…Should be good enough but it wasn’t.
Don’t bother with this one folks. And to think I almost bought the Blu-Ray!
Frankenstein Unbound tells the story of Dr. Joe Buchanan (played by John Hurt), who in the year 2031, in an attempt to create a safer weapon for the military accidentally creates a tear in time and space and finds himself and his amazing electric, computerized car transported back to 1817 Switzerland.
In ancient Switzerland, Buchanan meets the famous Dr. Frankenstein (played by Raul Julia), who has already created his now famous, mythical monster. Said monster has killed a child, and a young girl has been accused and found guilty of the boy’s murder through Witchcraft. Buchanan tries to convince Frankenstein to tell the authorities the truth and save t he girl’s life. Ignored by Frankenstein, Buchanan tries to get the help of Mary Shelley (author of the famous Frankenstein novel, and played by Bridget Fonda). Frankenstein and his Monster turn out to be difficult to deal with, though – one insane with power, the other a beast of a man who has not been explained the very basics of life). Buchanan almost gets lynched for the murder of Frankenstein’s fiancé, a crime the monster committed – and said monster saves Buchanan from this mob, only to take him to Frankenstein’s castle to help in the reanimation of Frankenstein’s freshly dead Fiancé. Instead of helping, Buchanan tricks the Monster into helping him reopen the time space rift, propelling Frankenstein, the Monster and his self far into the distant, bleak empty future. – a future where human’s are no more. There is a bit of a twist at the end, that while weak, I won’t spoil.
This movie has a half decent cast, and while entertaining, is really quite weak. Was it worth watching? Sure. Should you go out of your way to see it? I don’t think so.
Check out the trailer below: