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Return To Nuke’em High Volume 1 (2013) – If You Like Troma Then You Know Why I Like This – Also: Bonus Q & A With Lloyd Kaufman

returntonukeemOkay, barely a review and much more a gushing over Lloyd Kaufman Me looking like a dork posing with Llod Kaufman at the Calgary Horror conand Troma… and the Calgary Horror Convention. Actually had a chance to watch this Troma film in a theatre and with the added bonus of being in the presence of the great Lloyd Kaufman, Co-creator of Troma films and the legendary Toxic Avenger. Lloyd was great, the film was fun and I just ramble on and on and on. There is some bonus clips from the question and answer with Lloyd Kaufman at the end of the video. Hope you all enjoy!


**EDIT** WE HAVE A WINNER** Get a Copy Of Manborg on DVD FOR FREE!!!

Okay folks, we have a WINNER!!!

Congrats to Scott T. of Calgary, Alberta, Canada for being the one that is first to respond. You sir, will have yourself a copy of Manborg.

Watch the Video, then email me at catfishkempster@gmail.com


Society (1989)–Do You Get The Feeling That The Rich Are Not Like The Rest Of Us?

SocietyWow… Wowwowwowwow. Wow

This was a weird one, and I am so surprised that I never watched this before now.

Wow.

1989’s Society is an interesting film that tells the story of Bill Whitney (played by Billy Warlock), a 17 year old California High School student who is tone of two children of the very well off Whitney family. He has a cute sister, Jenny  who is just a little older than he is, a cheerleader girlfriend and is popular at school. Why isn’t Bill happy?

Bill has had the feeling that he doesn’t belong. He doesn’t look like the rest of his family. They don’t communicate with him, other than idle chit chat, and recently he thinks he’s noticed  some weird, seemingly impossible physical differences between himself and his family. His psychiatrist (oh yeah, he’s seeing a psychiatrist), Dr. Cleveland tells him he’s being paranoid and that he has to learn to fit in and accept his place in… society.

When a friend (and sister’s ex-boyfriend), David Blanchard, tries to let Bill know that things are not what they seem with his family, Bill rejects the idea out of hand. Eventually David gets Bill to listen to a secret recording David took of Jenny’s coming out party that seems to indicate that it was a family approved orgy, and that his parents really are keeping things from him. Providing his psychiatrist with a copy of the tape to prove that he isn’t paranoid, and that there are weird things going on in his family does nothing, when Dr. Cleveland plays it back and it’s a completely different, tame recording on the tape. What’s going on?

Bill starts raising hell and finds himself in some very weird and dangerous hot water. Eventually the truth is revealed to Bill, by Dr. Cleveland: The rich are a separate species from normal humans, and have been feeding off of us poor for as long as people have been around. In a glorious scene of crazy gross special effects, we get to see an orgy on eating and the weirdest transformations I have seen on film.

This movie has a lot going for it and I definitely suggest you watch it, though I will warn you that it is really quite gross. The acting isn’t the best but it definitely isn’t close to the worse either. I liked this film a lot and hope you will also.

Check out the trailer here:


The Bay (2012) – What’s the Matter, Parasite Got Your Tongue?

2012’s The Bay is an environmental horror film with one message: stop polluting the water.

Chesapeake Bay, New England has a water pollution problem that the mayor is ignoring. The town’s chicken processing plant is dumping raw sewage into the bay and that is directly affecting the ecosystem of the bay0 Huge die offs of fish is the first sign that something’s wrong. A team of two divers working for environmental agencies are documenting what they find in the bay. On land, a college reporter, in town to document t he town’s summer festivities gets caught up in the story being one of the only news reporters in town when it gets quarantined.

This town is falling apart fast – It’s eventually determined that what is affecting everyone and everything is a parasite that is growing at an alarmingly fast rate due to the waste that’s been dumped into the bay. People are dying horrible deaths, eaten from the inside out.

Shot as a documentary made up of reports and self shot videos as well as some lost footage, the Bay stays interesting if not amazing. I watched it on the suggestion of a friend, and despite some really bad reviews on the Internet Movie Database, I enjoyed it for the most part.

Worth a watch? Well, it wasn’t terrible but you decide for yourself.

Check out the trailer below:


The Fast And The Furious (1955) – Don’t Worry – This One’s Good: It Doesn’t Have Vin Diesel

image

I’m pretty sure if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you most likely know I like Roger Corman films. Well this is no different: A Corman film that I like.

1955’s The Fast and The Furious tells the story of a man, Frank Webster (played by John Ireland) who was wrongly accused of murder and wanting to clear his name. Being pursued by police, Webster is forced to take a woman, Connie Adair (played by Dorothy Malone) hostage and steal her car, with Webster hoping to make it to the Mexican border, and freedom beyond it. In order to avoid police road blocks, they pose as entrants in an antique auto race. The fact that Connie knows some of the entrants makes things a little sticky. Along this crazy adventure, Connie falls for Frank and vice/versa. A tale of injustice and love, this movie has schlock written all over it – luckily it’s short and doesn’t give enough time to get sick of it. Actually, clocking in at one hour and sixteen minutes, this movie is just about the perfect length for it’s subject matter.

Oh, and don’t go thinking that that crappy Fast and Furious film is a remake of this film – watch The Chase with Charlie Sheen to see the true remake of this film.

Should you watch it? Hell Yeah…

Heck, here’s the whole damned movie:

 

 


Zombies Vs. Strippers (2012) – Stupid, Yet Still Fun

 

imageAlright, by the title of the blog, you’ve got to know that I like bad movies. That must be the reason I like this one.

Zombies Vs. Strippers is a silly tale about a few strippers, the club owner, the bouncer and a couple of patrons that hole up inside a strip club at the outbreak of a Zombie Virus. Pretty straight forward. The acting’s not awesome (at the same time, it’s not the worse I’ve seen by a long shot), and the budget, like all these type of movies is pretty small, but that’s okay – I didn’t expect and award winning performance like Gandhi or anything – It was good enough to be fun.

Zombies, boobs and laughs – good enough to justify the short, one hour and fourteen minute run time.

If you like B-Movies, then go ahead and watch this movie – just don’t expect too much.


Monkey Shines (1988) – Who’s a Cute Homicidal Helper Monkey?

In celebration of George A. Romero’s 73 birthday we decided to watch 1988’s Monkey Shines. I haven’t seen this movie since it was released originally and my memories of it were vague. Heck, I didn’t even know it was a Romero film until my friend suggested we watch it due to Romero’s already mentioned birthday. I’m glad I re-watched it.

Monkey Shines is the store of Allen Mann (played by Jason Beghe), a young man in the physical prime of his life who is rendered a quadriplegic when he is hit by a vehicle while jogging. Not taking the transition well, Allen’s friend, Geoffrey Fisher (played by John Pankow), arranges to have one of the monkeys that he’s been injecting with a formula to make more intelligent trained as a helper for Allen. At first this works great. The monkey, now named Ella bonds will Allen immediately and proves herself to be a great assistant and companion.Already bright, it soon becomes apparent (to Allen, at least) that Ella may be even more intelligent than she lets on. He believes that she may be getting out at night and somehow projecting her adventures into his dreams. Allen, too is changing: he becomes more angry and unforgiving. Soon things start happening to the people and things that anger Allen, and the only explanation he can come up with is that Ella is in tune with his thoughts and feelings and is acting on his dark thought. When Allen shares this belief  everyone around him just thinks he’s imagining things. Ella works up a significant body count b at the time before anyone finally clues in that it is the monkey.

Back in 1988 when I first saw this film I didn’t really appreciate it, and remember being a little disappointed with the movie. I’m not entirely sure why, but I remember that is how I felt at that time. I don’t know what I was expecting, but perhaps the 18-19 year old me was a dumb-ass.

This movie was pretty damned good, and I definitely suggest it as a watch. 

Check out the trailer below:


Tales From The Crypt: Demon Knight (1995) – Comic Book Based Horror That Stays Entertaining

I’m not sure why I hadn’t seen this movie before last night, as I was a fan of the Tales From the Crypt comic book and TV show, and was aware that this movie existed. Oh Well, I watched it, finally.

The story is this: there is a man being chased by Billy Zane who is either a demon or the Devil himself. Zane’s character is trying to get the seventh and final “key” that would release the demons of Hell onto Earth en mass. That key is a bottle that contains blood of certain people (starting with the blood of Christ) that are chosen to keep it, and the world safe from the evil trying to escape hell. The holder of this key/blood bottle is imbued with powers, add the blood itself can be used to destroy and to protect. 

In this movie, the most recent keeper, pursued by Zane’s character holes up in an old church converted to a hotel/hostel. Followed there, the keeper tries to protect a group that really doesn’t understand that they are really in trouble. Eventually, they figure out that the danger is real – especially when Zane punched THROUGH the head of the sheriff.

So, this movie is definitely cheezy. Heck it’s really cheezy. Who cares, though, as this is a really fun horror movie. Not an award winner in any way, shape or form, but fun.

Check out the trailer below:


Grabbers (2012) – Stay Drunk, Stay Safe and Most Importantly Stay Irish

Well, this was a pleasant surprise!

Grabbers is a 2012 Irish Sci-fi horror film that comes out of no where and leaves you wondering why you never heard of this film before. I’m serious: I really like this film.

What’s it all about? Lisa Nolan, a police officer from the city takes a temporary assignment as a police officer in a small fishing village on an Irish island. There she is teamed up with a drunk of a cop that spends his time in an alcoholic haze while fighting crime that just doesn’t exist. Shortly after her arrival, an alien streaks to earth like a meteorite and crashes into the sea nearby. The alien, obviously hungry after it’s trip through space, starts off by devouring the crew of a fishing vessel that saw the crash and had gone to investigate. Eventually (well, pretty quickly actually) the creature (or creatures) end up on the island itself when a fisherman traps one in a lobster trap. Thinking he’s going to be rich, he takes it home with him. Eventually it turn on him and he has to kill it (kinda’). Taking the …corpse to a local scientist, it’s discovered that it’s like no other creature ever recorded. Like a cross between an octopus, a squid, a lamprey and a monster from an old pulp sci-fi story from the 50s, this thing is hungry, aggressive and reproductive. Oh, and add a taste for blood, yes there you have the monster. This thing kills quickly and without mercy. It has one downfall: it can’t handle alcohol in the blood of it’s victims. Basically it’s allergic to the stuff. The cops, one of whom is conveniently a raging alcoholic, have to keep the town drunk for about 24 hours while they wait for help from the coast guard and or military (it’s an island, remember?).

Watch it. Watch it watch it watch it.

Here’s the trailer:


Ozombie (2012) – Terrorist Zombie Movie

Ozombie is a 2012 low budget Zombie movie where al-Qaeda uses a mutated germ warfare agent to turn people in to zombies and unleash them against the coalition forces in Iraq.

This is a silly movie with unbelievable acting by poor actors. The characters are not really likable and any military that would hire them deserves to lose any war or battle that they enter. Add a sister stupidly searching for her equally stupid brother who decided that it is up to him to go to Iraq and single handedly capture or Kill Osama Bin-Laden. Uh…yep.

So, this a stupidly dumb movie that really doesn’t deserve a recommendation, yet it was still fun and if you are looking for a mindless movie with Zombies that can make you laugh once in a while, then go ahead and watch – I’ve seen worse.


Dredd (2012) – So… This is a Movie

I watched the new Judge Dredd movie, Dredd, a couple of nights ago and have this to say: Yeah, this is a Judge Dredd Movie.

For the most part, I think that’s all that really needs to be said, but for the sake of the blog I’ll write a bit more.

Did you see the original Judge Dredd movie starring Sylvester Stalone? Well, that one had more going on than this movie. I’m not saying it was better – it wasn’t – but there was more going on. The story of this movie? Who cares. It’s a dark action movie with some entertaining gunfight and explosions, characters that I just couldn’t care less about. It’s not a bad movie, it’s just a movie I could take or leave.

This is a movie. Watch it if you like.

Here’s the trailer:


The Punisher (1989) – Damn, This Was Kick Ass

I meant to see this movie in the theatre when it came out. Then I meant to rent this movie on VHS when it came out on home video. Then I meant to watch this movie on DVD when it was finally released that way. Well I didn’t. I finally watched it this morning, though, and I am glad I did.

The Punisher is a movie based on a comic of the same name. It’s the story of a Police Officer that lost his family to criminals and was assumed dead him self. HE has taken up the persona of The Punisher and does just that: punish the criminals that slip through the cracks of the Justice system.

Starring Dolph Lundgren as Frank Castle, a.k.a. The Punisher, and Lou Gossett Jr. as Jake Berkrowitz, the Police officer that believes Frank is still alive and actually is the Punisher, though no one else seems to share this belief. In the movie, the traditional Mob crime syndicate is being squeezed by the Japanese Yakuza criminal organization. They are looking to take over the criminal trade and make the mob work for them. The Yakuza taking 75% of the profits, leaving the Mob a measly 25%. Knowing the Mob would not be receptive to this, the Yakuza has kidnapped the children of the Mob family heads as bargaining chips. The Punisher has made it his job to rescue the children while making both sides pay for their indiscretions. 

There’s a lot of action in this movie and while no awards winner, it is definitely entertaining if you go into the testosterone fueled ass kicking, gun shooting style movie – and why would you not. I have to say that I am glad that I have finally seen this movie and I do not hesitate to recommend it. Check it out if you haven’t yet.

Here’s the trailer:


Diary of the Dead (2007) – Romero Zombie Films Are Still the Best

You know, I thought I had seen this film before… and then I watched it this past weekend only to find I was wrong.

George Romero’s 2007 Diary of the Dead tells the tale of a group of University students who, while attempting to make a Zombie film, end up documenting their experiences during a Zombie Outbreak.

While filming a scene in the woods for a University project, the group starts hearing reports of chaos in the cities and towns, with rumours of the dead rising up and feasting on the living. Add to the news footage, video clips that people are uploading to social networking sites, and the group starts getting a picture of just how widespread the outbreak is. They decide to travel together to each other’s homes (or whatever destinations they have picked. Along the way they see more and more evidence of this outbreak, and lose a number of their entourage along the way. They run into a couple of groups (one good and one bad), but make progress on their journey.

This is another “Shakycam” film, where it is supposed to be made up of footage taken from a person that is experiencing things and filming said experiences. This type of movie can be very crappy, but happily that isn’t the case here. I found this movie well made and entertaining. While it’s no Night of the Living Dead, or Dawn of the Dead, it is still a fun, entertaining Zombie film from the Master, George A. Romero.

Check out the trailer here:


The Man With The Iron Fists (2012) – Not Perfect But Still Fun

The Man With the Iron Fists is a 2012 American Martial Arts film, set in 19th Century China (in a town called “Jungle Town”), and stars RZA, Russell Crowe, Lucy Liu, David Bautista among many others.

This film is very stylish and tells the story of a man getting vengence on the murder of his father, the leader of the Lion Clan, by his adopted son, Silver Lion. To do the movie a little more justice, here is the first paragraph of the Wikipedia plot summary:

In nineteenth century China, Jungle Village is home to several warring clans. The village Blacksmith creates deadly weapons for the clans, intending to use his payments to purchase the freedom of his lover Lady Silk, and leave the village. The region’s governor tasks the Lion Clan’s leader Gold Lion with protecting a large shipment of gold that must pass through the village. Gold is betrayed by his lieutenants Silver Lion and Bronze Lion, who plan to steal the gold. They use the chaos of a fight with the Hyena Clan to allow their co-conspirator Poison Dagger (the governor’s aide) to assassinate Gold; Silver becomes the Lions’ leader. Gold’s son Zen-Yi learns of his father’s murder and sets off to the village to seek revenge.

Man – this is a stylish Kung Fu fest like I’ve rarely seen. Lots of flying around, and silly amazing moves. If you’ve seen Hidden Dragon Crouching tiger (or whatever it’s called), then you know the style of martial arts in this movie. Now, while a Kung Fu movie, RZA throws in a generous amount of Steam Punk (something I enjoy a lot).

While not perfect (or even close), I found this movie quite enjoyable. In certain ways, it reminded me of something Quentin Tarantino might create. I say watch this movie.

Here’s the trailer:


A Little Bit Zombie (2012) – Where Did This Movie Come From And Why IS It As Good As It Is?

2012’s Little Bit Zombie came out of nowhere and left me a little stunned: for a movie I never heard of, this thing is good!

Pretty typical idea: a group of young friends decide to go to a cabin for the weekend to relax and have fun before one of the couple’s marriage. Once there, one of the characters, Steve (the groom to be) gets stung repeatedly by an angry mosquito that is carrying the Zombie virus.

As the the night progresses, Steve starts acting a little more and more zombie like. Add a pair of paranormal investigators, one led by a magical zombie detector (or something) who are drawn to the cabin when they detect a “hybrid zombie” – That would be Steve, who unlike most zombies,slowly coasted to Zombiehood, opposed to the regular, “I’ve been bit and swarmed” style of Zombification leaving Steve in a half-human, half-zombie state.

This movie is pretty well made and quite funny – way more so than I expected. If you like comedy and Zombies, I say check this one out. I found it on  Netflix (it was a suggested watch), and I think if you look it’s most likely available other placed also. 

Check out the trailer here:


Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) – Disturbingly Entertaining Holiday Film

Having watched the recent remake of 1984’s Silent Night, Deadly night, I thought it only proper that I should watch the original – and I am glad that I did.

I remember hearing about Silent Night, Deadly Night back in 1984 when several groups and a lot of busy bodies were up in arms trying to get it banned – I mean, what God loving person would create a horror film based around Santa and Christmas. I’m glad those jerks failed, because I had fun watching this movie.

The gist of the story? A young man, after just been warned about Santa by his previously catatonic grandfather, witnesses his father and mother being killed by a maniac dressed as Santa. He and his then infant brother end up being raised in an orphanage run by Nuns (and a Mother Superior that is a BITCH). Things are okay for him, except around Christmas, where Santa still instills fear in him (gee, I wonder why). Over the years, he grows to be a strapping young man who gets a job working in the warehouse of Ura’s Toy shop. All is well until they need a stand in for the store’s  Santa Clause. They give him the job… and then he snaps.

This is glorious, cheezy Holiday death. I’ve never seen this film up until last night, and boy was I pleasantly surprised. While not a big budget film, it was done well enough  to be compelling. Sure, it’s a silly film and full of cheeziness, but in my book that is a good thing. Watch this film? Hell Yes. Watching this film, I see the similarities in the remake, though it was more of a re-imaginaing than a remaking – they both deserve a watch, though.

‘Tis the Season for watching Christmas Horror films, and this is one of the ones you need to see.

Check out the trailer here:


Silent Night (2012) – Santa’s Progressed From Coal to Mass Murder

imageI can’t say if 2012’s remake of 1984’s Silent Night, Deadly Night is better than the  original because I’ve never seen it, but I will say that it beat my (admittedly low) expectations, and that is a good thing. 

Christmas horror films are awesome in concept due to the fact that it’s supposed to be a time of peace and hope, and not killings and horror. This film delivers enough of both to stay interesting. 

So, it’s Christmas, and bad folks are being wiped out left and right in a sleepy little town.Police officer Aubrey Bradimore has been called into work on Christmas as a fellow officer has not shown up for work. Her first call is to deal with a sarchastic fake Santa that is depressing local kids by delivering somber and realistic Christmas messages. That guy’s an ass, but there is not much she can do about him – he’s got a permit.

Bradimore is called to another location as there is a report of a terrible smell emanating from a home. Upon entry she finds a nightmare of a scene, and discovers that her fellow officer was killed in a horrific, Christmas lite related murder, as well as his lover having been dismembered. Then things get bad. The police force, headed by an incompetent Sheriff James Cooper (played well by Malcolm McDowell) tries to mobilize and stop the Santa Clause disguised serial killer in there midst. Well, it turns out that there is more than one bad Santa amongst the crowds, making finding the actual murderer just that much harder.

This movie is not great by any means, but it is good enough to be entertaining.  There are some great death scenes and enough gore to be interesting, and surprise, surprise, the acting isn’t half bad. Although the Santa is evil, he is mostly killing other bad people, so in some cases you don’t really feel for his victims, and that is a neat twist. If you like cheezy horror, and are in a holiday mood, then check this one out. Because of this remake, I think I may be watching the original next.

Here is the trailer:


Saint Nick (2010) – If He’s So Scary Then Why am I So Bored?

2010’s Dutch film, Saint Nick, tells an alternative story of a Saint Nicholas that inspired fear into the people of a small dutch town, entering the town in December 5, each year and the years with Full moons on this day, demanded gifts of wealth, riches, virgins and more. He used his evil, demon like minions, Black Petes to ensure he got what he wanted too. Eventually the town rose up, and destroyed Saint Nick and his evel band when they blew up his massive sailing ship and burned him alive. Ok, so they destroyed him and are safe now, right? Wrong: now they are cursed, and every 24 to 34 years, when there is a full moon on December the 5th (the anniversary of the town destroying Nick, his ship and minions), Saint Nick and his Black Petes come back and terrorize to town for a night, killing scores and torturing others.

This film looks great, and the idea is interesting… Too bad, as it had me dozing off a little more than half-way through. It’s boring and a waste of time. Want to see a Christmas horror film worth watching, then keep reading over the next week or so, as since we are heading towards Christmas, we will be spending the next week or so watching Christmas horror films. One or more are likely to be better than this.

Here is the trailer:


Bernie (2011) – Jack Black’s Masterpiece (finally)

I am a Jack Black fan, there is no doubt of that. That said, I don’t like everything he’s done, but I really liked this.

Bernie (2011) is an independent film that is tells the story of an assistant funeral director, Bernie Tiede (played by Jack Black), the widow he befriends, Marjorie “Maggie” Nugent (played by Shirley MacLaine) and the unusual relationship that blossomed between them, and the murder of Maggie, by Bernie himself.

Bernie moved to the small Texas town of Carthage after taking a job as assistant funeral director. In this role he excelled and was soon overwhelmingly accepted by the community through his selfless acts of caring and charity. Bernie was (and still is ) loved by the community of Carthage. When someone passed away, Bernie was always sure to check in on the loved ones left behind – especially the widows. One of these widows was the town’s least popular and by far richest citizens, Marjorie Nugent. Marjorie’s husband, who was a very rich man and owner of a local bank passed  away, leaving his fortune to Marjorie. Bernie met Marjorie at the funeral home, and as was his way, visited her on several occasions in an attempt to make sure that she was okay, and was coping with her loss. Eventually she let him in and they built an unusual relationship. Marjorie eventually hired him as her personal assistant and became more and more possessive of Bernie and his time. You see Marjorie was a bitch. An all out evil, grumpy bitch that no one liked. According to one resident of Carthage, she declined loans as a hobby!  As their relationship advanced (and no one really knows, other than Bernie and the now deceased Marjorie know just how far it advanced), Marjorie and Bernie traveled the world, something Marjorie wanted to do but in the past never had the opportunity to do so. Increasingly, Marjorie made demand on Bernie, trapping him in what some may call an abusive relationship. One day Bernie snaps and kills her. For quite a while Bernie made excuses as to why she was never seen anymore and most people never gave it a second thought – no one but her longtime accountant who with the help of family members, gain access to Marjorie’s home and find her body, preserved in her freezer. Bernie is apprehended where he confesses fully and completely. One problem: Bernie is so loved that no one in Carthage would ever vote to convict him if they were on the jury. Slimeball District Attorney Danny Buck Davidson (played very well by Matthew McConaughey), convinced that Bernie had nothing but evil intentions, charges Bernie with first degree murder and has the trial moved to another city where Bernie has no community ties. 

Bernie is based on a true story, and is a masterpiece. Jack Black is great and never goes “over the top” as he is known for. This movie proves that he can act with the big boys. Add to that an amazing supporting cast and a fantastic soundtrack and you have Bernie – the best movie that you haven’t heard of in a long time.

Check out the trailer here:



Cannonball Run (1981) – Stupid, Simple Fun

imageIt’s been a long time since I first (and last) watched Cannonball Run – 30 years actually… Boy does that make me feel old.

Cannonball Run hit theatres back in 1981 and despite being super cheezy, manages to be a really funny movie. The movie takes it’s name from the Cannonball Run, a cross country (U.S.A.), big money race that draws cars from all over. Along the long race the teams actively attempt to sabotage each other.Staring Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise co-star as racer J.J. McClure and his buddy, mechanic Victor Prinzi who pose as paramedics and drive an Ambulance. Roger Moore plays Seymour Goldfarb, Jr. who poses as no one other than… Roger Moore /James Bond. Rat Packers Dean Martin and Sammy Davis, Jr. play aging former race car driver Jamie Blake and scam artist Morris Fenderbaum who disguise themselves as priests and drive a red Ferrari. Adrienne Barbeau and Tara Buckman play as Marcie Thatcher and Jill Rivers – the “hot chicks” that use their womanly charms to wriggle out of legal troubles along the way. Jamie Farr (you know: Klinger from M.A.S.H.) appears as Sheik Abdul ben Falafel Jackie Chan goes mostly uncredited as “Mitsubishi Driver #1.” So, yeah, it’s a pretty eclectic and silly cast and it still fun to watch. It’s not a movie to watch if you want depth – this is a silly race movie with a silly cast and silly situations.

Have some fun and give Cannonball Run a watch. Check out the trailer here:


Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! (2006) – This Makes Thankskilling Look Like a Masterpiece

I watched 2006’s Easter Bunny Kill! Kill! last night and kind of wished I didn’t. 

This is a poorly made movie about a young, mentally challenged boy that is being raised by a single mom. The mom has a new boyfriend that she doesn’t realize is a murderous thug who manages to wrangle himself into living with the pair. The boy, obsessed with Easter, doesn’t like Mom’s new boyfriend, and confides this and other things to his pet bunny, given to him by a homeless man, a few days before Easter.

On Easter day, Mom has to work a double shift and the boy is left in the care of the boyfriend who decides that this is a great time to party, and offers up the boy to a pedophile drug dealer he knows in exchange for drugs and money. The attempt to rape the boy is foiled when a mysterious stranger in a bunny masks starts killing all the degenerates. So, bad guys/gals die, a secret is revealed, then another and then everyone (who’s still alive) live happily ever after.

Yeah… screw that shit. This is crap. Reading the reviews on imdb.com makes me believe that the cast wrote most of the reviews. This is a waste of time with little or no redeeming values. Watch it if you want.

Here is the stupid trailer:


Bigfoot (2012) – Wow – Now THIS is a Crappy Movie

image2012’s Bigfoot is a crapfest of bad CGI and two 1970’s family show hasbeens. Thank you for this Sci-Fi Channel.

Hmmm… Danny Bonaduce  as a crappy radio host in a crappy town decides to put on a crappy 80’s music fest and in the process disturbs a remarkably huge, poorly rendered Bigfoot who proceeds to kill everyone it runs into. Oh… wait: Throw in Barry Williams (oldest son Greg from the Brady Bunch), as a granola eating hippy like musician.

Alice Cooper gets kicked like a football by Bigfoot), the actors seem like alcoholics (especially Sherilyn Fenn – really what the hell is wrong with her) and  Howard Hesseman is the mayor.

This shit sucks.

That is all.


Hollywood Boulevard (1976) – How Can Such a Piece of Crap Be So Fun?

1976’s film, Hollywood Boulevard, is a spoof of the cheezy, low budget crapfest 

movies of the 60’s and 70’s made by the king of Drive-In B-Movies, Roger Corman – and it is all fun.

This movie popped up on Netflix as a recommendation after watching a series of low budget flicks. I had less than 2 hours to watch a movie, and this was 82 minutes long, so it was a perfect fit – I loved it. 

The premiise of the movie? A young want to be actress moves to Hollywood to become a star (Candice Rialson as Candy Wednesday). She eventually lands a role in a really low budget film as a stunt woman, which leads to a roll as an actress in a Filipino Exploitation film. One issue though: Some one is killing the actors on the sets of these movies, and everyone is trying to find out who. Much of this movie is compiled from scenes from past Roger Corman films (something he did many times), making it EVEN lower budget. Also, it stars Mary Woronov as Mary McQueen and Paul Bartel as Eric Von Leppe.


I’m going to cheat and paste in the Wilipedia description of this film – yeah, I am:

In a prologue, pompous film director Eric Von Leppe (Paul Bartel) is shooting a skydiving sequence for low-budget Miracle Pictures in which an actress is killed. Candy Wednesday (Candice Rialson) arrives in Los Angeles to make it as an actor. She gets an agent, Walter Paisley (Dick Miller), but struggles to find work until she inadvertently gets involved in a bank robbery as a getaway driver. This gets her a job for Miracle Pictures as a stunt driver. She meets Eric Von Leppe, temperamental starlet Mary McQueen (Mary Woronov), sleazy producer PG (Roger Doran) and friendly scriptwriter, Pat (Jeffrey Kramer). Candy and Pat fall in love and she starts to get work as an actor, becoming friends with fellow starlets Bobbi (Rita George) and Jill (Tara Strohmeier).

Everyone goes to the Philippines to make a movie, Machete Maidens of Mora Tau, starring Candy, Mary, Bobbi and Jill. Candy has to play a character who is raped which upsets her. Later on during the shoot, Jill, Bobbi and PG have a threesome. During the filming of a battle sequence, Jill is shot dead by an unseen attacker.

Back in the US, Candy, Walter and Pat all go to see Machete Maidens at a local drive in, where the projectionist tries to rape Candy but she is rescued by Walter. While shooting a chase scene in a science fiction film, Mary, Candy and Jill are almost killed in a car accident. Jill is called back to the studio late at night and is stabbed to death.

Candy begins to suspect Patrick is the killer. But it turns out the real culprit is Mary. She tries to kill Candy at the Hollywood Sign but it falls on her and crushes her to death. Candy is reunited with Pat and becomes a film star.

This is silly, stupid and so cheap. 

I loved it.

Unable to find the trailer, here are a series of clips put to Beethoven:




Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011) – Thank You Mr. Cage For Making a New Movie I Don’t Hate

I remember watching the first Nicholas Cage Ghost Rider movie back in 2007 and being really disappointed. I put off watching this movie for quite a while. Well it turns out that I shouldn’t have – This movie was pretty Damned good.

In Spirit of Vengeance Johnny Blaze (aka Ghost Rider aka Nicolas Cage) is recruited by a bad-ass butt-kicking, wine drinking, motorcycling weird, intense eyed french priest (or something) by the name of Moreau (played very effectively by Idris Elba) to save a child from a group of paramilitary that seem pretty intent on getting this kid. What will Johnny Blaze get out of this deal? He’ll finally have this crazy Ghost Rider curse/possession lifted from him. He gets to it right away. Oh, and the Kid’s name is Danny.

Right off the bat Danny and his mother, Nadya (played by Violante Placido) and Danny are being forced off the road and then smacked around in a pre-we’re-about-to-kidnap-your-son-and-shoot-you bout of violence. All of a sudden, here come Ghost Rider, and he is ass-kicking mad. He’s always ass-kicking mad. Taking out most of the bad guys, while giving  Nadia and Danny the time they need to get away. He takes a grenade induced beating, at the same time, but gets the job done. Turns out, Danny’s mom made a deal with Roarke (The Devil, in case you’re not aware, and played this time out by Ciarán Hinds who does a great job), agreeing to carry Roarke’s child, in order for Roarke to transfer his essence into the boy at the age 13, as his mortal body is failing. Nadya is doing whatever she can to keep Roarke from getting to the child. Moreau’s religious sect are also working to prevent Roarke’s transfer to the boy – but they want a more permanent resolution other than hiding the boy.

I don’t want to give away too much of the story, so I’ll say this: If you wanted the original Ghost Rider to be good and were disappointed, then this movie is for you. I have like Nicolas Cage for years, but lately almost all of his movies have been pretty much crap – I am so glad to say that I like this movie. This Ghost Rider movie seems to have more of a story, and feels a lot more comic book like – which is good, as Ghost Rider is a comic book character. 

Nicholas Cage not only reprises his roll as the Demonically possessed Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider in 2011’s Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, he actually redeems that roll with this movie. Yes, this is the kick ass Marvel Movie the Ghost Rider deserved the first time out. 

I say watch it.

Here is the trailer: