The Fast And The Furious (1955) – Don’t Worry – This One’s Good: It Doesn’t Have Vin Diesel
I’m pretty sure if you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you most likely know I like Roger Corman films. Well this is no different: A Corman film that I like.
1955’s The Fast and The Furious tells the story of a man, Frank Webster (played by John Ireland) who was wrongly accused of murder and wanting to clear his name. Being pursued by police, Webster is forced to take a woman, Connie Adair (played by Dorothy Malone) hostage and steal her car, with Webster hoping to make it to the Mexican border, and freedom beyond it. In order to avoid police road blocks, they pose as entrants in an antique auto race. The fact that Connie knows some of the entrants makes things a little sticky. Along this crazy adventure, Connie falls for Frank and vice/versa. A tale of injustice and love, this movie has schlock written all over it – luckily it’s short and doesn’t give enough time to get sick of it. Actually, clocking in at one hour and sixteen minutes, this movie is just about the perfect length for it’s subject matter.
Oh, and don’t go thinking that that crappy Fast and Furious film is a remake of this film – watch The Chase with Charlie Sheen to see the true remake of this film.
Should you watch it? Hell Yeah…
Heck, here’s the whole damned movie:
Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012) – 50 Feet of Dangerous Cheesecake Silliness
There is no way that I can think of describing where it sounds like a good movie, but that’s okay because this isn’t a good movie. That said, I still liked this movie. Created in the same vein of the cheezy drive in monster/mutant movies that populated drive ins of the 1950s through the late 1970s, this movie definitely fits right in with the worse/best of them.
Produced by Roger Corman, King of the B-Movies, but more a creation of writer Mike MacLean and director Kevin O’Neill, this movie tells the story of an acne spotted, nerdy girl, Cassie Stratford (played by Jena Sims) who is pressured by her mother (played by Sean Young) to join the cheerleader squad. She fails at first, much to the delight of cheerleader squad leader, Brittany (played by Olivia Alexander). Still feeling the pressure from her mother, Cassie decides to try the serum she and another lab student help develop that seems to rejuvenate and improve the outward appearances of lab rats and mice. Initially, Cassie finds herself with a now perfect complection and a bitchin’ body. When one of the cheerleaders gets injured, Cassie tries out again, and this time wows the team (and pissing off Brittany at the same time).
As Cassie becomes more gorgeos, she is also growing. Soon she ids a behemoth of hotness, and insecure Brittany decided she needs to be like Cassie. Entering the lab Cassie studied at, she tries to coerce the serum from the nerdy lab partner but eventually accidentally gets a double dose of the serum in her boobs.
So, soon we have two, giant hot chicks which leads to what? Anyone? That’s right: two giant hot chicks fighting in tiny bits of clothing. – all the while, the nerdy lab guy is trying to administer an agent to counteract the effects of the serum. Oh: and a pharmaceutical company is trying to capture Cassie (the back the research in to the serum) for their own reasons.
So, this is a dumb, silly movie – but it is supposed to be. If you enjoy the classic B-Movies of the past then this is for you.
Here is the trailer:
Death Race 2000 (1975) – More Proof That Roger Corman is More Than Human
I don’t know what major malfunction in my way of living caused me to wait 37 years to watch Death Race 2000, because you know what? This movie freakin’ rocks.
Released in 1975, Death Race tells the story of a bleak future when America is no longer a democracy and things are so crappy for the people in general that the government spend much more time finding things to blame and distractions from the general malaise. The Biggest of these distractions being the Death Race, and the star of said Death Race being, Frankenstein (played by David Caradine) – a driver so damaged from accidents that he is covered from head to foot in a black, leather outfit so as not to frighten and disgust the public in general.
This is a silly movie about a race across the United States that has the drivers getting points for taking out pedestrians along the way (different age groups having different points assigned each). Each of the drivers are in semi-futuristic modified weird vehicles that are weaponized and groovy. The drivers battle with each other as well as collecting points.
This year, a rebel group has decided to take out the racers and possible replace Frankenstein with one of their own.. Little do they know that Frankenstein is actually sympathetic to their cause!.
So, this movie is crazy and cheezy, yet is one of the more entertaining things I’ve seen in a while. It also has Sylvester Stalone on an early, but great roll as one of the racers.
Roger Corman is the King of the low budget, high action B-Movie, and this has got to be one of his absolute best films. If you haven’t seen this film (like I hadn’t), then you owe it to yourself to do so.
Check out the trailer here:
Hollywood Boulevard (1976) – How Can Such a Piece of Crap Be So Fun?
1976’s film, Hollywood Boulevard, is a spoof of the cheezy, low budget crapfest
movies of the 60’s and 70’s made by the king of Drive-In B-Movies, Roger Corman – and it is all fun.
This movie popped up on Netflix as a recommendation after watching a series of low budget flicks. I had less than 2 hours to watch a movie, and this was 82 minutes long, so it was a perfect fit – I loved it.
The premiise of the movie? A young want to be actress moves to Hollywood to become a star (Candice Rialson as Candy Wednesday). She eventually lands a role in a really low budget film as a stunt woman, which leads to a roll as an actress in a Filipino Exploitation film. One issue though: Some one is killing the actors on the sets of these movies, and everyone is trying to find out who. Much of this movie is compiled from scenes from past Roger Corman films (something he did many times), making it EVEN lower budget. Also, it stars Mary Woronov as Mary McQueen and Paul Bartel as Eric Von Leppe.
I’m going to cheat and paste in the Wilipedia description of this film – yeah, I am:
In a prologue, pompous film director Eric Von Leppe (Paul Bartel) is shooting a skydiving sequence for low-budget Miracle Pictures in which an actress is killed. Candy Wednesday (Candice Rialson) arrives in Los Angeles to make it as an actor. She gets an agent, Walter Paisley (Dick Miller), but struggles to find work until she inadvertently gets involved in a bank robbery as a getaway driver. This gets her a job for Miracle Pictures as a stunt driver. She meets Eric Von Leppe, temperamental starlet Mary McQueen (Mary Woronov), sleazy producer PG (Roger Doran) and friendly scriptwriter, Pat (Jeffrey Kramer). Candy and Pat fall in love and she starts to get work as an actor, becoming friends with fellow starlets Bobbi (Rita George) and Jill (Tara Strohmeier).
Everyone goes to the Philippines to make a movie, Machete Maidens of Mora Tau, starring Candy, Mary, Bobbi and Jill. Candy has to play a character who is raped which upsets her. Later on during the shoot, Jill, Bobbi and PG have a threesome. During the filming of a battle sequence, Jill is shot dead by an unseen attacker.
Back in the US, Candy, Walter and Pat all go to see Machete Maidens at a local drive in, where the projectionist tries to rape Candy but she is rescued by Walter. While shooting a chase scene in a science fiction film, Mary, Candy and Jill are almost killed in a car accident. Jill is called back to the studio late at night and is stabbed to death.
Candy begins to suspect Patrick is the killer. But it turns out the real culprit is Mary. She tries to kill Candy at the Hollywood Sign but it falls on her and crushes her to death. Candy is reunited with Pat and becomes a film star.
This is silly, stupid and so cheap.
I loved it.
Unable to find the trailer, here are a series of clips put to Beethoven:
The Terror Within (1989) – Terrible Throughout
This 1989 post plague apocalypse film, set in a compound beneath the desert in America is a tough watch.
A plague has laid waste to almost the entire population, with small pockets in underground outposts surviving. A vaccine has been developed to combat that plague, but as noted next to no one is left to administer that vaccine to. Add to that, monster/mutants called “Gargoyles” terrorize the remaining humans. One group, trapped in their underground complex, is terrorized by one of the =creatures that escaped as they attempted to abort it from a lone woman they found, frightened and lost outside their bunker… That’s right: the monsters are impregnating humans. If that wasn’t bad enough, those foetus grow at an alarming rate – maturing in hours and killing their host mother. Most of the 87 minutes is spent watching these people running around trying to kill this creature loose in their base. Oh… And one of the hold outs gets attacked, raped and then dies trying to abort her monster baby.
The creature is interesting looking, and the film starts (for a short period of time) vetran “that guy” actor George Kennedy. Even so, this movie is rather lack lustre and kinda’ boring. To me it had the feeling of a made for TV movie (which it isn’t).
I can’t recommend this film as it just doesn’t have enough going for it. That being said, the film seems to be available on Youtube in it’s entirety so if you want to check it out, it’s not going to cost you anything other than 87 minutes of your time. That link can be found below the trailer (for as long as it lasts, that is).
Check out the trailer here:
Not of This Earth (1988) – Horribly Horrible Movie
Oh my god… this was freakin’ painful to watch.
1988’s Not of This Earth is a horrible remake of the already horrible Sci-Fi Roger Corman film of 1957. Since the original was horrible, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that this film was horrible also… But this horrible? Ugh.
A dying member of a dying alien race is on Earth and has discovered the elixer that can prolong his and races life: Human blood. Using his amazing glowing eyes to take control of the minds of his victims. It looks like he might be unstoppable.
He (the alien) hires a local nurse (played by the sexy Traci Lords) to administer transfusions from legal sources of blood, while at night he supplements with the blood of his victims (mostly hookers).
Aside from some tits and ass shots, this movie really has no redeeming value – even to me, a huge supporter of shitty films. I say don’t freakin’ bother with this shitty film.
Here is the trailer:
Galaxy of Terror (1981) – Better Cast Than Script
I was warned that this was a super bad movie, and that there was no way in Hell I would like it.
I liked this stupid movie.
On a rescue mission, a ship and her crew are set out to a planet run by the Planet Master. Once on the planet, the crew is quicky subjected to terrors…terrors based on their own fears.
This is a Roger Corman production with a few names that eventually became pretty big in the movie industry. A pre-Freddy Krueger (even pre-Willie from V), Robert Englund, star of a huge number of movies and TV shows Sid Haig and lets not forget Erin Moran a.k.a. Joanie Cunningham from Happy Days. Oh…and what is most surprising to me, James Cameron (Titanic, Avatar) as Production Designer and Second Unit Director.
Very cheezy, and much of the back drops look like bad paintings, still there is a certain charm to this film. None of it makes sense, but all of it was fun. Like many of the movies on this blog, the verdict is, if you like bad movies, you`ll like this. It didn`t win any awards, and didn`t deserve to, but it is fun. Watch this piece of crap if you have time.
Here is the Trailer:
And looky here – here`s the whole movie:
Battle Beyond the Stars (1980) John Boy – You Should Have Stayed in the Country
I like Roger Corman films. I like Science Fiction films. I liked John Boy and The Waltons. Did I like a Roger Corman Science Fiction Film starring Richard Thomas, who played John Boy in the iconic TV show, the Waltons? Uhhh… It was ok.
Here’s the (very) basic story:
The Peaceful farming planet of Akir is threatened by bad guy/Tyrant Sador and his army of space thugs/mutants the Malmori who threaten to turn planet Akir into a small sun with the use of the super weapon, the Stellar Converter. Unless the people of Akir accept him as their leader, Sador will use the weapon – and he gives them several days to decide. In that time, Shad (played by Richard Thomas), goes out into space to recruit soldiers to help fight and hopefully defeat Sador. Shad pilots an interestingly designed ship called a Corsair Star Cruiser that has an onboard artificial intelligence named Nell that quickly becomes an important character. Shad goes from being detained in an effort to get him to mate with a scientist’s daughter to helping out a space cowboy delivery man (played by George Peppard), to meeting with a notorious interstellar assassin Gelt (played by Robert Vaughn). He manages to gather a rag-tag group of freedom fighters to help battle Sador.
Simple, dumb and generic – there is still al little charm here. This is one of the 
movies that used to come on late Friday or Saturday nights when I was a kid. Interesting then, and enjoyable now mostly for the memories it brings back.
A typical space opera of the early 1980s when every film maker was jumping on the Star Wars band wagon, Battle Beyond the Stars isn’t the worse that I’ve seen, and is definitely better than many of the same period. Would I recommend it? Not necessarily, but I also wouldn’t tell you to avoid it. If you get a chance to see it, see it.
Here’s the trailer:
Two Headed Shark Attack (2012) – Stupidly Fun
Well this is a fun one: a movie about a gigantic, two headed shark, and the college students that are terrorized by it. I’m not entirely sure why there’s a class of American students somewhere in the tropic on a boat, but there is. I’m also not sure why there is a giant two-headed shark, but there is. I’m not sure why the island (an atoll, actually) that they take refuge on is sinking, but it is.I’m not sure about a lot in this silly movie but I kind of liked it anyway. Forgettable characters played by forgettable actors (Including Carmen Electra and Brooke Hogan, daughter the famous wrestler, Hulk Hogan) with a forgettable script but so silly a concept that it won me over. I’m not going to bother telling you about the plot because the plot doesn’t matter -if you can enjoy a movie because it’s bad, then this film is made for you. If you are a fan of the classic Roger Corman B-Movie Drive-In monster movie kind of films, then this film is for you. If you answered no to both or either of those questions then this film is most likely not for you – and I am not sure how you found this blog (a joke – really!). I wouldn’t go out of your way to watch this, but if you did get access to it easily enough, and you want a good laugh then watch Two-Headed Shark Attack. Check out the trailer here:
