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Posts tagged “slasher

Wolfcop (2014) – Canada, Meet Your New Hero

wolfcopWolfcop is a little Canadian production that has been fighting to get made/released for a couple of years. Well I am so very happy to say that today, I watched Wolfcop in a major theatre.

A couple of years ago I ran into the folks behind Wolfcop at their table 2014-04-29 02.01.38at the Calgary Entertainment and Horror Convention. At that time they were trying to drum up votes in a contest amongst indie films to get funded. They didn’t win, but they did drum up interest, and this year when they appeared the the expo, they were announcing the up coming release of Wolfcop. I was really glad to hear this as the folks behind the film seem pretty damned cool. Both years they handed out Wolfcop badges to those who would tweet or post to Facebook about Wolfcop. I did it both years and have both versions of the badge, which is pretty awesome. They did a good job grabbing my attention and I have been waiting to see this film. I am happy to say it was worth the wait.2014-04-29 02.30.23

IMG_0512Wolfcop tells the tale of Lou Garou, a drunk cop in a small town who get’s turned into a Werewolf. Instead of just going rogue like most Werewolves, he decides to start kickin’ criminal ass as Wolfcop. Also, while he’s doing that, he’s got to get to the bottom of why he’s a werewolf, and just what the hell is going on in his little town.

Wolfcop is a low budget homage to the cheezy slasher/monster horror flicks of the 70’s and 80’s. It’s not a movie to be taken seriously, it’s a movie to be enjoyed for what it is. This is the movie for the person who enjoyed Machete and Hobo With a Shotgun. If you rented those cheezy horror movies from your corner video store as a kid in the 80’s then Wolfcop is the movie for you. Watch it with an open mind, and take it for what it is and you might just find that you’ve watched a brilliant film.Unfortunately, it most likely won’t be in the theater for long, and even if it did, it’s a Canadian only release. But that means it most likely will be available for purchase, and if that’s the case, I say buy it!

Check out the trailer below:


Shaky Cam Week–Found Footage Movies

So, we’ve decided to do a week of found/lost footage movies (i.e. “Shaky Cam”). You know what those are? Movies that are supposed to look like they were recorded on handheld devices, like The Blair Witch Project. There are quite a few, but just a tiny few worth watching. Hopefully we’ll see a couple that you would like to watch…

Keep your eyes on the site!!!


Alien Horror Week – Movie 5: Deadly Spawn (1983)

ThedeadlyspawnIt was a toss up as to whether or not we were going to watch Alien or Deadly Spawn. My buddy made the argument for Deadly Spawn as it is a much less known movie, and I went along.

So, a small town is invaded by a life form from space that looks a lot like a giant multiple headed lamprey with a penchant for making slug like babies (lots of them), and eating the locals. A group of four geeky science nerd teens and a young boy do their best to save the town (and most likely the world) from this infestation. It’s kind of weird that three of our movies had similar themes and creatures (Slither, Night of the Creeps and Deadly Spawn), not in that they are alien infestation movies (it’s kind of the theme), but the fact that the three creatures in the mentioned movies all propagate by releasing slug like grubs, liked to enter through the mouth id possible, and the main “mother” creature found someplace out of the way to grow and develop. Well, if they copied each other, this is the progenitor of all of ‘em.  A silly movie, Deadly Spawn stays entertaining, and cheezy which is perfect for me. Lots of campiness to go around, and some really questionable actions by it’s characters may make you moan at times…but don’;t let that stop you from enjoying the movie. A true representative of it’s time, the early 1980’s, it still stands out as a fun, throwback to the creature features of the 50’s and 60’s…

Watch this film, my friends!


Alien Horror Week – Movie 2: Night of Creeps (1986)–Simply Awesome

NightofthecreepsposterHaving just watched Slither (again),last night and remembering the outcry from a lot of fans of the classic 1986 Night of the Creeps due to the many similarities between the two movies, I just had to watch Night of the Creeps (again), tonight.

Night of the Creeps is a neat Horror/Sci-Fi/Comedy about an infestation of alien slug like creatures when they are released on the unsuspecting Earth during the 1950s, landing  in a town/city in the states. Initially infecting an escaped lunatic, and a young man on a date with his girl, resulting in a couple of deaths. Cut to the 1980’s where a couple of friends, Chris Romero and J.C.are new to college and trying to fit in. Chris has a crush on a hot girl, Cynthia Cronenberg. Cynthia, though has a meathead boyfriend who is in charge of the frat house that the two want to join (so Chris can hopefully impress Cynthia). In order to join, the two are given the task of stealing a cadaver and leave it on the steps of a rival frat house. While the two manage to enter a lab where they think they will find a corpse, they actually manage to stumble upon a body in cryogenic suspension,. They decide one body is as good as another, and try to take this one. When the corpse opens it’s eyes and grabs a hold of one of the two, they take off “screaming like banshees” (you’ll know why I put that in quotes when you watch the film). Well, turns out this is the corpse of the guy that was infected by the alien life form way back in 1959. So, now we have a reanimated corpse, under the control of an alien life form… The corpse, a sort of alien zombie kills a scientist in the lab and heads out…on the town, eventually ending up on the steps of a girl’s frat (the same one Cynthia calls home). Cynthia sees the zombie and sees his head explode, releasing a bunch of those alien worms… and they spread out. Soon a crap load of the town is infected, including the dead, which rise (hence the Zombie word), animated by there worms. J.C. himself falls prey to the creatures also, but not before he learns the secrets to the destruction of the worms…

Of course everything ramps up to a big good versus bad scene, but I have told you more than enough of the story. You should watch this movie, as it is damned fun. Definitely an homage to the sci-fi creature flicks of the 50’s and 60’s, if you enjoy sci-fi, horror and comedy then you have to see this one, folks. Check out the trailer below:


Escape From L.A. (1996) – Snake Plissken Is Back In A Parody Of His Own, Old Adventure

Escape_From_LAEscape From LA is the 1996 unnecessary sequel to the classic 1981 action film, Escape from New York. In Escape From New York, Snake Plissken (played by Kurt Russell), is enlisted to rescue the President, who’s plane has crashed in New York. New York, once a bustling metropolis, has been turned into a giant prison without guards, and run by different factions of criminals. Plissken goes in, and against all odds, rescues the President. In the 1996 sequel, Snake is back (and still being played by Kurt Russell). This time he is expected to retrieve a control for a space based nuclear weapons platform that was stolen by the new, President for Life’s daughter in an act of defiance, and brought to LA, now also a prison, separated from the rest of the continental United States by an earthquake, and given to Cuervo Jones (Georges Corraface), an ex Peruvian Shining Path rebel, and leader of the most powerful faction of criminals in L.A. Snake originally turns down the job… that is until he finds out he has no real choice in the matter, and only has about a day to complete the task…or else. Once in L.A., Plissken goes about the task of locating the President’s daughter and Cuervo. At first it seems like he may get some help from "Map to the Stars" Eddie (Steve Buscemi), but maybe…. just maybe Eddie has his own plans.

Anyway, Plissken gets captured, gets loose, gets into some fights (with and without weapons), and of course, gets the job done. But with almost all movies, things just aren’t that simple. Who is the true bad guy?

This is a silly, parody o the original Escape From New York. I could see some true fans of the original possibly hating this movie, but if you watch it with the mindset similar to mine, where you were looking for some silly action entertainment, then you might like it. Just don’t go in expecting a serious, action movie and you should be okay.

Check out the trailer below:


Smiley (2012)–One of The Crappiest Slashers I’ve Seen In A Long Time

smileyYeah, so I watched 2012’s Smiley last night.

It’s a piece of crap with a stupid plot, a stupid attempt at a “twist”… and I’m sure some freakin’ hipster will defend it as the direction of the new “Artcore” movement.

Just because you call a piece of crap a rose, doesn’t make it a rose.

So, a girl starts college, and her partying new dorm mate invites her to a party. Once there she’s introduced to “Smiley” – You get in an Internet chat room with someone, and while you are there, you type “I did it for the lulz” three times, and magically a distorted smiley face character comes out of know where and kills the person on the other side of the chat window. Not a terrible idea for a horror movie, but unfortunately, it is a terrible horror movie. I’m not even 100% sure where it went off the track, but it was one of those movies where you just end up waiting for it to end.

Don’t bother with this piece of crap folks… Unless you are the hipster that is going to email me about “Artcore” = and if you are, spare yourself and me the time and don’t bother formulating that email.

Screw the trailer, as this movie doesn’t deserve the posting of a trailer here.


Sinister (2012) – Now This Is a Creepy Horror Movie

SinisterMoviePoster2012A true crime author moves his family into a home where an unsolved horrific multiple murder took place and finds a stash of 8mm home movies in the attic, he believes he’s found evidence of a serial killer going all the way back to the 1960s. Ethan Hawke plays Ellison Oswalt, a famous (though his fame is fading) true crime writer who has moved his family into the home where a grisly multiple murder happened. The movie actually opens with what appears to be grainy, home movie video (or film) of the crime that happened in this very home. Now, he hasn’t told his wife or young family that a murder happened here… You see, he’s trying to write his next big (and hopefully biggest yet), book and perhaps living in the house of the crime he wants to write about may provide that inspiration. Late one night, while investigating some nocturnal noises, Ellison finds himself in the attic where he finds a stash of 8mm home movies, and a projector. Over the next few weeks/months he reviews these movies… only to be led to believe he has stumbled upon the proof of a previously unknown serial killer with crimes that go back to the 1960s. Trying to get information about the crime that happened from the local chief of police isn’t going to be easy as he isn’t a fan of Ellison’s work, as it often makes the police looked like buffoons. Luckily he is able to get an inside to the police by befriending one of the newer Deputies, who happens to be a big fan of Ellison’s. Uncovering proof of other unsolved murders which seem to tie in with the scenes found on the movies he discovered in his attic. He also enlists the help of a Professor Jonas (Vincent D’Onofrio), as there are similar symbols left at the scenes of each crime scene. The more Ellison investigates, the weirder and deeper the weirdness grows. Now his own kids are seeing and doing the unexplained…

Damn this is a good, creepy horror movie. Hell, it even includes what I would condiser a half-decent twist! I find that the movie managed to create and sustain a level of suspense (and aforementioned creepiness) that is rare lately. Also, it’s nice o see Ethan Hawke in a movie, as I always enjoyed his acting.

So, check out Sinister if you are looking for a better than your run of the mill suspenseful horror flick. Check out the trailer blow, folks:


Nurse 3D (2013) – This Movie Is Terrible

Nurse3DSo I watched the 2013 horror movie, Nurse, (also known as Nurse 3D), last night. Yeah, that really is all I should say, but I feel if I left it at that you might not know how much I think this movie sucks.

Well, it really sucks. Bad acting, casting and script – a perfect storm of crappiness. It’s a story of a Nurse by day that kills cheating men by night… Not the worse concept – too bad whomever these people are were the ones who decided to make a movie about it.

If you were part of the creating of this crapfest then I hope you understand how crappy it is.

Oh, did I mention Judd Nelson is in it? No? And Kathleen Turner has a bit part? I didn’t? Must because they were eclipsed by the  crappiness of it all.

And here is the crappy trailer for this crappy movie:


Vampire Week Movie 6–Martin (1976) – Is He or Isn’t He?

MartinfilmposterGeorge A. Romero’s 1976 (or 1977 or even 1978 depending on your source), film, Martin, tells the tale of a man, Martin, who may or may not be a vampire…

Martin is a weird film. John Amplas played the title role, a weird, young looking man who has come to live with his great uncle, Tateh Cuda, an Old World Man who accuses Martin of being a Vampire – referring to him as Nosferatu. It doesn’t help that in the opening minutes of the film, we witness Martin drug, rape and bleed a woman on the train he took to get to said Uncle’s house. Once at the house, his uncle instructs Martin forcefully not to speak to Christine (a cousin I believe), and then goes about trying various traditional Vampire repellents (you know, like garlic and crucifixes), but Martin let’s him know that there’s no real magic. Martin starts working at Tateh’s butcher shop and meets local women while making deliveries – these woman later become his victims (or meals, if you will). One of these women eventually becomes Martin’s lover (she’s cheating on her husband). She finds herself attracted to Martin’s quietness, and lack of opinions and judgements. Martin, at first, runs from her advances, but after talking over the phone (and on air), with a local late night DJ, he decides to give into her advances. At the same time, while speaking to the DJ, he tries to remove the mystery from Vampirism . The DJ’s audience just eats this stuff up, and Martin is a hit. Martin’s relationship with this woman changes his feeding habits, and the fact that his uncle forbade him from feeding on anyone from their already dying town, so he soon finds himself in Pittsburgh looking for victims. There he manages to feed well, but took chances  that almost got him caught twice. Sated, he returns home only to find his love interest has taken her own life. And that event triggers… another major event.

So we have a guy that may or may not be a vampire who is becoming a bit of an anonymous pop icon, sleeping with a local, married woman, living in a home with a Great Uncle who is trying to ward you off, as he is convinced Martin is none other than Nosferatu.  This is pretty interesting stuff here and it’s all put together by one of the Horror genre’s greats, George A. Romero (Night of the Living Dead, anyone?). You never really know if you’re watching a vampire or just a crazy guy who believes he’s a vampire. We see scenes in black and white of events that would have to happen a long time in the past, but we’re never told whether or not these are Martin’s memories or figments of his imagination. Add that to the fact that he tells Christine, in passing, that he is 84 years old. What… What is going on here. A good movie – that, my friends, is what is going on here.

Check out the trailer below, and if you get a chance, check out the movie too.


Tarantino Week–Movie 3: True Romance (1993)

True_romance

True Romance is a crazy, wild ride of a movie. Written by Quentin Tarantino, and starring Christian Slater as Clarence Worley and Patricia Arquette as Alabama Whitman, a young couple who meet at a Sonny Chiba triple play at a theatre in Detroit. They hit off real good, have dinner and then both end up at Clarence’s apartment, having sex. Alabama then admits she’s a hooker hired by his boss, to help him blow off some steam. She also admits that she’s managed to fall in love with him over the course of the evening.  This is fortunate, as apparently Clarence has fallen in love with her also. Having known each other for a whole night, they do the logical thing and get married. Now Clarence has to deal with Alabama’s Pimp, Drexl (Gary Oldman). What confronting the pimp, and after a ruckus, and a visit from Clarence’s muse/alter ego/imaginary friend in his head, Drexl ends up dead, and Clarence accidentally ends up with a suitcase full of cocaine. The newly webs hatch a plan to sell the cocaine and restart their lives somewhere warm… Well, the coke was the Mobs, and soon the two are being tracked down by some unsavoury characters, one being the always awesome Christopher Walken as gangster Vincenzo Coccotti. Before the duo leave Detroit for California, they stop by Clarence’s estranged fathers, a police officer by the name of Clifford, played by Dennis Hopper a Detroit police officer, to find out what the police believe the motive for Drexl’s murder. After they leave, Coccotti and his crew end up at Cliffords to drill him on the location of Clarence and Alabama… A great exchange between two great actors happens…only one survives.

Off to Cali, the dynamic duo meet up with an old friends of Clarence, who begrudgingly agrees to help him sell the cocaine to a director he kind of knows, using a go between, played by Bronson Pinchot. Things go wrong, cops get involved, a meeting happend and everything goes to crap…

This movie is crazy and cool – crazy cool? Yeah. Unlike the Kill Bill movies (and the others I will be reviewing), this is written by Tarantino, but directed by Tony Scott, and therefore has a different feeling than Tanatino directed films – but don’t think that is a bad thing, it’s just different. This is a great film and deserves to be watched.

Check out the trailer:


Bloody Bloody Bible Camp (2012)–So Very Bad… But I Still Had Fun

Bloody Bloody Bible CampWow… So 2012’s Bloody Bloody Bible Camp is a throw back to the early 1980’s slasher films. Kinda’

Starting off in 1977 where we see the story of a group of Bible Campers hanging out trying to get laid and smoking dope… And eventually most of them die. Cut to 1984 and a new group is going up to the camp – mostly to die.

Where do I start? Bad plot with bad acting and bad production. Sound suffers at time (from that bad production that I just mentioned)…. and the actors and actresses are pretty ugly for the most part.

This movie is terribly stupid… but I still had fun.

Should you watch this movie? Well you freakin’ decide.


The Dead Mile (2013)–Flawed But Very Fun Independent Zombie Film… And It’s Canadian!

DeadmileSo, I just watched a Zombie movie that was filmed in my home city of Calgary, Alberta, Canada. It was a low budget film, and it lacked polish and there was some questionable performances. You know what? Who cares – this was a fun, silly Zombie film.

The Dead Mile is a truly Canadian movie that combines hockey, a Zombie Walk and real Zombies to create an end of society, Zombie outbreak movie that delivers on the fun and the gore. A group of friends are preparing for an annual Zombie Walk when an actual, cow transmitted Zombie virus hits the city. The Zombie Walk participants are actually turning into Zombies, and our little group of friends need to find a way to survive. One of our characters, Tyler, works for a dick, Kevin Wong, who owns a comic shop, who is hosting a a signing event for a couple of horror stars to coincide with the Zombie Walk. Well these two get wrapped up in the whole Zombie outbreak and join forces with Kevin and his friends. They are soon joined by two simple, hockey obsessed guys, who suggest they make a break for the hockey/ice rink – a fortress according to them. Of course, like in all Zombie films, the fortress is never quite as… fortressy (yes, I know that’s not a real word – but it’s my blog so nananana-boo-boo), as they hope. One by one the group is diminished as members fall prey to the Zombie hordes. You know, like in a Zombie movie.

This movie is low budget and flawed, but really, who cares: most Zombie movies are. At least this movie delivers on the humour, and for a low budget film, it manages to look pretty good (and thank you for not finding it necessary to make the film look grungy and 70’s like – that works when for 70’s films only – you deserve kudos for not doing that). They also deliver on the gore, like a true Zombie movie should. I say this is worth a watch, especially if you are Canadian, and even more so if you are from Calgary. The movie’s writer/Director , K.J. Kleefeld and his crew did an admirable job. The film it self is available to rent online at https://vimeo.com/ondemand/thedeadmile for $4.99 – I though it was a little steep for a rental of an independent film, but I said “What the Hell,” I’m supporting a small film maker” (who just happens to be local – GO CANADA!!!). Check out the trailer below, and then go spend $4.99, you cheap bastard, and help some independent film makers.


Basket Case Trilogy (1982,1990,1992)–Hilariously Ridiculous

coverWow… I had never heard of the Basket Case movies until my buddy suggested we watch them about a month ago. Well, last night we finished the last of the three movies and I have to say that I was left pleasantly surprised at how much these movies entertained me.

The Basket Case movies tell the story of two Siamese, or co-joined twins, separated in childhood. One twin, Duane Bradley (played hilariously cheezily by Kevin Van Hentenryck) is a fully formed, mostly normal looking guy, but his brother, Belial, is a disgusting blob of flesh with one dangerously powerful arm and, a very strong leg and a disturbingly human face with a mouth full of jagged, dangerous teeth. Belial is a dangerous character who is understandable unbalanced. Spending most of his time in a basket (hence the name of the movies), he and Duane have a psychic bond and can communicate without words). Duane and Belial were separated against their will when children in a horrific home surgery. Now Belial and Duane are looking for revenge on the doctor’s that did the brutal operation. Belial, extracting his revenge – this little guy is a damned efficient killing machine – having killed a large number of people, gets into a scuffle and he and Duane fall out a window together. Apprehended and brought to a hospital, they both escape.

Basket Case 2 picks up where Basket Case  left off – now Duane and Bradley find themselves in the home of Granny Ruth (played by Annie Ross), a woman who has taken it upon herself to provide sanctuary for horribly and bizarrely deformed people. The cast of strange creatures is interesting and funny – I thing the creature designer on this film most likely had a great time. This is a place where Belial can feel at home and not have to hide from the world. Duane, though is having a tougher time fitting in, as he feels like the outsider. That said, he manages to fall in love with Granny Ruth’s assistant, Susan (played by Heather Rattray), a seemingly normal young lady – and it seems that she loves Duane, too. Also, Belial finds love himself when he falls for a similarly mutated Eve. Soon Granny Ruth’s sanctuary is threatened by a sleazy reporter and photographer. Duane and Belial decide to organize the ragtag group of mutants into an efficient and deadly defence. After saving the day, Duane and Susan start to get it on… and Duane finds out the real reason Susan stays with Granny Ruth. Duane flips out and goes off the mental deep end (and something happens to Susan)… And the movie ends. Oh, I can’t forget to mention the weirdest love scene ever between two lumps of mutated flesh.

Basket Case 3, starts the moment Basket Case 2 ends. Duane wakes up to find himself in a straight jacket, calling out to whomever claiming that he’s all better now. Granny Ruth enters his padded cell and explains how long he’s been there and why. She also gives him some good news: he’s going to be an uncle, as Belial has impregnated Eve. Eve, being massively mutated, is starting to go into labour, and Granny Ruth is concerned that she may require medical attention. She packs up the entire group of mutants into a school bus and they take off to a sympathetic Doctor referred to as Uncle Hal. Uncle Hal has been taking care of a genius, multi-armed mutant, Little Hal. Duane, still a loose, mildly crazy loose cannon, is trying to escape at any cost. Meanwhile Eve Gives birth to a…a lot of little Belial copies, despite the fact that Belial loses it and attacks Uncle Hal (due to a flashback). Getting the attention of the Sheriff’s daughter, who he stupidly trusts, he soon finds himself behind bars, while the stupid deputy’s decided that they want to capture Belial for a reported $1,000,000 reward offered by a rag newspaper. Yeah, well that doesn’t go very well and one escapes with his life and a basket full of baby Belial looking offspring. The mutants aren’t going to stand for that, and they launch a brazen attack on the jail in order to save the babies. Things get even weirder.

Okay, these are low budget movies that leave a lot to be desired. That said, I really enjoyed them. Duane is an unbelievable silly character that while fake, is super fun to watch. Belial is such a weird character that it’s hard to find him scary, and the gallery of mutants under Granny Ruth’s roof are very… crazy. Still, I really liked these movies – they have a certain charm that is very rare in the horror genre, and if you can suspend your sense of disbelief, you might just have a good time watching these crazy movies.


Remake Week Movie #3–Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)

Texas_chainsaw_massacreGood remakes may be hard to find, but I’ve been doing pretty good lately.

2003’s Texas Chainsaw Massacre (TCM), revisit’s Tobe Hooper’s ground breaking horror classic of (almost) the same name (add “The” to the beginning of the original), and gives it a great, modern refresh.

Inspired very loosely on the horrendous crimes of Ed Gein in 1950’s Wisconsin,  TCM tells the story of a group of young 20 somethings on their way to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert in Dallas. Along the way they stop and pick up a dazed, confused woman who is walking around in the middle of the road by herself, almost unresponsive. They take her into the van in order to get her some help, but in a short time she kills herself using a pistol that she had concealed… Forced to look for help from authorities, they drive into a small town…and perhaps Hell on Earth.

What ensues is a battle between this group of youths and a hillbilly clan that seems un escapable. Call the Sheriff? Sure – too bad he’s mixed right up in this hillbilly killer family. No matter where they turn, the group finds themselves deeper and deeper in crap -  One by one, they fall gruesome victims to Leatherface and his family.

If you haven’t seen the original, you can still watch this movie without missing anything, but seeing the original’s stature in the horror world, you would be doing yourself a dis-service. Is this better than the original? Well, it really is good – maybe not as important as the original – but possible as good. Jessica Biel does a great job (and looks great), and the rest of the cast is good to.

Watch it!

Here’s the trailer:


Rebooting Remake Week

Hi Folks;

Well remake week didn’t go as well as planned when I was distracted after two movies – Well, I plan on putting up 7 remakes (including the two already posted), though maybe not all in a row.

One reason why they may not be in a row is for example the THING from 1982 – my buddy that watched these movies wants to watch the prequel that came out in 2011 first – no problem, but that delays that viewing by at least a day – gonna’ try to get him to watch that prequel tonight so we can go onto the remake.

So, sorry for not powering through 7 days of remakes, but they are coming… starting now!


Remake Week Movie #1–Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007)

Halloween2007Call me a heretic or call me crazy, but I like this remake better than the original.

In 2007 Rob Zombie released his remake of the classic, influential 1978 Slasher-Horror film, Halloween. The original starred an unknown actress by the name of Jamie Lee Curtis and the better known Donald Pleasence. Both movies tell the story of Michael Myers – a child who killed his family when he was 10 – now 16 years later, he’s escaped the criminal asylum where he has been held… HE’s heading back home to find his last remaining family member, his sister – oh, and he’s racking up a big body count along the way.

Rob Zombie kept true to the original story, but in my mind created a much more watchable movie. I’m sure much of that is due to the time that has passed since the original was released – hindsight is 20-20 they say.

Now, don’t get me wrong: while I thing the remake is a better movie, I still like the original, and without a doubt the original is a much more important movie – Just not as well made. I feel that the family background of Michael is more fleshed out in the remake, and the acting doesn’t seem as forced… Except in the case of Sheri Moon Zombie’s portrayal of Deborah Myers, Michael’s mother – Sheri can’t act and I really hope Rob Zombie figure this out soon. The always great Malcolm McDowell plays the role of Dr. Samuel Loomis, the role originally played by the late, great Donald Pleasence.

So, as remakes go I say this is definitely a good one. I watched the original and this remake back to back – a fun way to compare.

What do you think?

Here is the Trailer:

 

And here is the trailer to the original:


Pawnshop Chronicles (2013) – Not 100% Sure Just What I Watched, But I Know I Liked It

pawn_shop_chroniclesWhat a weird film, Pawnshop Chronicles is… What a weird film.

Chock full of actor’s you’ve heard of, Pawnshop Chronicles is a circular tale of lost love, meth heads, kidnapping and the battle between good and evil.

Mathew Dillon plays Richard, a man about to begin his honeymoon with his second wife when they stop by a Pawnshop, hoping to get a little extra cash when something goes wrong with their banking. Quickly he spots a ring – the ring he gave he had custom made for his first wife, who disappeared without a trace 6 years prior. Abandoning his new wife, he takes off on a renewed search for his long missing love.

This begins a twisted tale that brings the viewer on a roller coaster ride – we encounter meth-heads, murder and white slavery (hint: you might not look at Frodo the same again). You’ll meat a failing Elvis Impersonator (played compellingly by Brendan Fraser). You’ll see bad guys screwing over bad guys, and a town split down the middle by which Barber they choose.

Add to this a character that offers salvation for your soul, leaving you wondering if he’s God or the Devil…

This movie may be weird, but I freakin’ loved it.

Check out the trailer below:


Hansel and Gretel Get Baked (2013)–From Out of Nowhere Comes a Surprisingly Entertaining Retold Tale

HGBakedWell, I have to say that when this movie popped up on the list of titles that Netflix recommends me to watch, I wasn’t very enthusiastic about it. Then yesterday afternoon I received an email from a reader of the blog strongly suggesting that I watch it, saying that they were surprised at just how fun the movie was. Grudgingly, I decided to watch it for myself – And I am glad I did.

Hansel and Gretel Get Baked (HGGB) is a 2013 release that I am guessing was released to ride on what could have been the wave of a bigger budget Hansel and Gretel movie that seems to have actually fizzled – that’s okay though, as this movie is fun in it’s own right.

HGGB tells the modernized tale of a brother and sister duo, Hansel and Gretel, who go off on a quest to save Gretel’s stoner boyfriend who disappeared after going to get some more killer “Black Forrest” pot from a little old lady who has gained notoriety from the incredible quality of the weed she is selling. Turns out the little old lady, Agnes (and played quite well by Lara Flynn Boyle), is actually a Witch that uses the weed to lure teens to her home where she capture a select few to harvest their youthful essence, restoring her youth, and also uses their bodies as mulch to help produce the high quality pot.

The movie was much better than I expected with good production quality, plenty of gore and half decent acting – way more than I would expect from something with a title like this. I have to say I was actually pleasantly surprised at just how good this movie really is. Sure, it’s pot humour, but it’s also a horror and a comedy – watch this one folks!

Here’s the trailer:


Jeepers Creepers (2001)–Cyclical Demon In The Crops

Jeepers_Creepers2001’s Jeepers Creepers is a movie that I’ve meant to watch several times over the years, this weekend, I finally got around to it.

Starring Gina Philips and Justin Long as Patricia and Darius (Darry) Jenner, sister and brother are driving back home through the country after spring break. Along the way they are victims of a strange road rage like incident with a very large, armoured, almost steam punk like vehicle that tries to run them down, scaring the hell out of both of them. Later they witness a dark figure loading something body shaped from the back of the vehicle that had just shortly been trying to kill them,into a large ground pipe next to a church. Well because stupid movie characters do stupid movie character things, Darry decides that they should go back to see just what was going on back there at the church. Finding the evil vehicle gone, Darry and his sister look down the big pipe but it’s too dark to see anything. Being stupid, Darry insists on climbing down the pipe to see what’s going on… Yeah, bad idea, right? So he gets stuck in a room below ground…like a part of the Church’s cellar only accessible by this pipe. Oh, and the room is full of corpses of varying ages, all missing some part, but all weirdly well preserved.

Okay, that’s how the movie starts, and I know I paint it as lame, but it was actually quite a good start to a film that was better than I expected it to be. The creature in this film is some supernatural beast, or demon, perhaps, that is active every 23 three years, for just 23 days. During that time it feeds on people, choosing them by the way they smell when they experience fear. Apparently  some people smell/taste better than others to evil demons. The title of the movie comes from the fact that it’s victims hear the song, Jeepers Creepers” shortly before it kills them. Weird, but interesting idea. The film’s creator’s did a good job creating a cool, intimidating and scary supernatural style monster and wrapped a movie around it that’s good enough not to suck – and that’s not an easy thing to do. I have to say that this is actually a fun horror movie. Sure, it’s not perfect, and right off the bat I was hoping something bad would come to Justin Long’s character, but over all it was entertaining, fun and not a copy of everything that’s gone before it. I guess I really should have watched this quite some time ago. I definitely recommend it if you enjoy horror and haven’t seen it yet.

Check out the trailer below:


Deranged (1974)–Interesting if Flawed Docu-Drama About The Man That Inspired So Many Horror Movies

derangedLast night I watch the masterful biopic, Hitchcock, about the Master of Suspense, Alfred Hitchcock and absolutely loved it. The movie takes place during the filming of Psycho. What I learned was that Psycho was loosely based upon the crimes of Ed Gein, a serial killer, body snatcher and possible necrophilliac  from Plainfield, Wisconsin. This left me wondering about who this Ed Gein was and were there any movie based specifically about him and not just inspired by his crime. A quick Google search and I foung the movie, Deranged from 1974.

Deranged starts with a warning that everything in the film is based on real events and that the names have been changed to protect the innocent…. blah, blah,blah! Telling the story of a man that was raised by an overbearing religious fanatic mother that taught him that all women, aside from herself, were diseased whores out to corrupt him. Not allowed to socialize with others outside of school, Ed was bound to come out twisted. Ed, obsessed with his mother, devoted himself to her caretaking. When she suffered a stroke, he became even more so. Upon her death he boarded up the rooms that she used and left himself a small area in the house for his own use.

In the movie, Ed soon finds himself missing his mother terribly, and convinced himself that she was actually sleeping and not dead. His mother’s voice calls to him telling him to retrieve her and bring her back to their home. Exhuming the body, Ed does just that. Mother, having been buried for the better part of a year was not in prime shape, so Ed decides to make repairs to his mother. Using bits of fish skin and the like he fixes her up as best he can. Eventually, he studies taxidermy to improve his skills. Not content with animals, Ed exhumes bodies from the grave yard, taking parts of or whole bodies from fresh graves. Ed’s a ghoul.

Soon Ed ups the ante when he becomes smitten with a local bar owner and kidnaps her. Hoping she’ll be his wife, he introduces her to his mother and dinner guests: posed bodis of the peopl he stole from the graveyard. Playing along, she convinced him to release her bound hand, and attempts to escape… Sorry! Ed ain’t letting you go. Instead of a wedding, she’s dead now.

Ed keeps up his shit with no one suspecting him at all, until a girl keeping shop dissapears with signs of foul play. The last person in the shop was Ed and the local Sherriff goes off to Ed’s farm house to talk to him. That’s where they find the body of the girl and evidence of all of Ed’s grisly crimes. The movie then ends with a write up of Ed being found insane…

Okay, this is not a great movie, but I did find it interesting as I knew little of Ed Gein. There have been a lot of movies about Ed and based on him. Not many of the biopics are very good, but this is one of the first. Should you watch it? If your interested in the crimes of Ed, then yes.  If not, then don’t bother.


Chopping Mall–Bad and Entertaining… Badly Entertaining? (Watch the Whole Movie Below)

ChoppingmallSo, while going over a list of cheezy movies from the 1980’s, my buddy suggested we watch Chopping Mall, a Sci-Fi horror from 1986.

Well, we watched Chopping Mall, and though I remember seeing the cover art on a video cassette sometime in the past, I really had no idea what it was a bout – I thought, with a name like Chopping Mall, that I was about to watch a slasher movie – I was wrong.

Chopping mall tells the story of a group of people who decide to have what appears to be a make out party in a furniture store where a couple of them work, after hours. Little did they know that the mall was deploying their state of the art robot security force that night… and that a lightning strike would be causing issues, turning the ‘bots into all out killers. Using what was designed to be non- lethal devices (Tasers and tranquilizers), the malfunctioning ‘bots head out to secure the mall.

One by one we see a couple of the partiers taken out by the ‘bots until the remaining people clue in as to what is happening and try to stop the ‘bots. Loading up on weapons from the sporting store in the mall, they soon learn that the ‘bots are tougher that they thought. It’ll take more than just a shot gun shell and some anger to destroy these machines. Managing to destroy one by tricking it into a booby-trapped elevator spurs on out partiers… but one bot kill is not a trend and this won’t be easy.

Luckily this movie isn’t very long (72 minutes in total), and while not good, is entertaining, if you are like me and can stomach cheezy movies. Make sure you keep an eye out for B-Movie girl. Barbara Crampton (from Re-Animator as well as many more horror films of the 80’s).  If the movie went longer though, I doubt I would have liked it. It has a weak premise, the characters are not ones I sympathized with, but I still found it watchable. Check it out yourself if you are so inclined. Here’s the trailer to help you decide, and if you like what you see, just below that is the whole movie (let me know of the link stops working, please).

Chopping Mall (1986) – The Trailer

 

Chopping Mall (1986) – The Whole Movie:

 


Eddie The Sleep Walking Cannibal(2011)–Weird Film… Weirdly Excellent Film

eddie_the_sleepwalking_cannibalHere is another movie that I had not heard of until this week and was pretty much blown away by how much I liked it.

Eddie the Sleep Walking Cannibal tells the story of a Danish painter, Lars (played by Thure Lindhardt), who travels to a small Canadian town in order to both teach art and to hopefully get his muse back and start painting again.

Lars has trouble fitting into the community at first, stating off his adventure by hitting a male deer (a Buck), with his truck – that scene, while grim has a certain morbid humour to it that sets the stage for the rest of the movie. Shortly after starting teaching, one of his students, Eddie, (played masterfully by Dylan Smith), an adult mute with what seems to be a learning disability loses his care giver, his aunt, and ends up in the care of Lars, living in his home with him.

Soon Lars finds out Eddie has an interesting, if disturbing  habit of walking and killing  (and eating) living things in his sleep. Witnessing this, Lars finds that it drives his creative juices and suddenly he can paint again – the sleep walking Eddie becomes his muse.

Eddie starts off killing and eating a small animal but soon progresses to humans. Each time, Lars is inspired again to paint, and each painting he cerates, he sells and uses the proceeds to help the small community that he now resides in.

Lars soon learns that Eddie only does things when he is upset, and as Eddie becomes more comfortable with Lars, he stops the killing. Lars, feeling the need to create, tries to create a situation that upsets Eddie in order to spur on his nocturnal activities. Lars is becoming addicted to Eddie in a way.

This movie explores a weird and unusual subject. Lars at first is a sympathetic character, but morphs into someone unlikeable. His relationships within the community develop in an interesting manner as does his descent into darkness. Strong performances by the supporting cast helps to elevate this movie from an interesting B movie to something that I strongly suggest you watch. Keep an eye out for Stephen McHattie as Lars’ agent – you might remember him as Elaine’s therapist/lover from Seinfeld.

Check it out! Here is the trailer:


Hatchet I and II–Fun Throwbacks To A Simpler Age

A couple of nights ago I re-watched Hatchet (2006) and Hatchet II (2010) after seeing a teaser for the upcoming Hatchet III. I am glad I did.

hatchetHatchet tells the story of a group of people that take a night tour of a Louisiana swamp during Mardi Gras  festivities and run into the psycho-killer, Victor Crowley. Victor was born horrible disfigured and was raised in a cabin in the swamp by his father, Mr. Crowley (played by the always amazing Kane Hodder), protecting him from the cruel outside world. Local kids would come by in the hopes of catching a glimpse of the disfigured boys. One night, the local kids decide to scare him out of the cabin by throwing fireworks. Unfortunately the cabin catches fire, and in an attempt to rescue his son, he accidentally kills him. Now, years later, Victor Crowley (also played by Kane Hodder) is forced to relive that night and takes vengeance to whomever enters the swamp.

So, this unlucky group of folks are on this tour of the swamp, in a portion of the swamp that has been closed for years by authorities, with an incompetent tour guide (an Asian fellow with a Louisiana  accent – sometimes). The tour guide does a great job getting them hung up and thereby forcing them to get off the boat and onto land… and into Victor Crowley’s lands.

One by one they are picked off in different but equally horrific ways. We also learn a bit more about each of the tourists, though at this point it doesn’t matter as they are going to die soon. We do learn that one of the people, an attractive young lady by the name of Marybeth (played by Tamara Feldman) is acually a local and along for the ride in hopes to find out what happened to her Father and Brother who disappeared a day earlier while ‘gator hunting in the same section of swamp.

Like most of these movies, we see the characters taken down one at a time in great gory scenes. The movie isn’t the greatest, but it is a good slasher flick. If you like this style of film then I think You’d like Hatchet.

 

hatchet2Hatchet II continues from the very last scene of the first movie. Marybeth’s character now being played by Danielle Harris. Kane Hodder returns as Both Victor and Thomas Crowley.

Part two is a story of a hunt for Victor Crowley, pushed for by Marybeth, but organized by Reverend Voodoo (a role reprised from the first movie and played by Tony Todd). Marybeth wants to retrieve the bodies of her brother and father, while Reverend Voodoo wants to clear the swamp of Victor Crowley so he can run more tours out of the swamp and make a bigger profit. Voodoo gets together a posse to defeat Crowley and they head out.

Of course it’s not that easy and one by one the hunters become the hunted. We see more, gory killings as the posse’s numbers dwindle. Crowley seems unstoppable.

Soon we learn Voodoo’s true plan (but I won’t tell you what it is as you can watch the damned movie yourself), and we learn just how much a douche he really is.

Plans are great, but they rarely work out in movies, right?

Hatchet 2 is fun, but not as good as the first, though I do suggest watching both.

Check out the trailers for the two below:

Hatchet

Hatchet II


The Burning (1981) – Early 80s Killer at a Camp

1981’s The Burning is about a camp caretaker that is horribly disfigured in fire after a mean spirited prank, played by campers goes horrible wrong. Years later, he returns to the camp to exact revenge on new, innocent campers.

This is a typically bad camper/slaughter movie. Not a lot of work put in to the script or the acting. The senior campers go across the lake for a three day excursion when all hell breaks loose. First, the canoes get lost, a girl disappears, a group goes out on a handmade raft to get help and are brutally slaughtered. As time goes by, more and more die… like these kind of movies. This is pre-Friday the 13th (I think) and therefore before this format was really perfected – I say this is a terrible film, though there may be those that might believe that this is a formative movie -those people are wrong.

Pretty straight forward. One surprise was the fact that Jason Alexander (George from Seinfeld fame) and Brian Backner (Mark “Rat” Ratner in Fast Times at Ridgemont High) are part of the cast.

Take my advice: Leave this one alone.

Here is the trailer: