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Posts tagged “stupid

Something Evil (1972) – Did They Mean Something Crappy? Ah, But I still Had To Watch…

So, I went searching for a movie that scared the hell out of me as a very young child. All I had were vague fragments of memories: a baby crying, an evil goop in a big jar and a design on a floor. I found what I was looking for, but maybe I was better off before I searched!

Watch my semi-review of 1972’s Something Evil:


A Rant About Movie Distributors And Their Youtube Policies

After having several of my video reviews altered or taken down for showing a trailer during these reviews. I am completely pissed off, as I believe I am trying to get people to go out and watch these movies – to buy DVDs and Blu-Rays. I would think that this would be a good thing If my business was to distribute these movies…

Anyway, watch the video and let me know what you think, and don’t worry – there will be a new movie review very shortly.


Double Dragon (1994)–Double Dose Of Crap

Today we look at the super craptacular movie, Double Dragon. Another videogame based movie, this one was so hard to watch. Check out the review below!

Don’t forget to check out the best damned retro gaming site for collectors. Go to colexions.com NOW!!!


Shaky Cam Week Movie 1 – Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones (2014) –Maybe They Should Have Stopped After The First Few

Paranormal_Activity_-_The_Marked_Ones_2014_posterThe first Paranormal Activity movie back in 2009 was a scary, effective and unique horror movie. It was pretty damned good, actually. The next couple were still pretty good, but eack, in my opinion, was a little less good than the previous movie. With The Marked Ones, it’s just redundant and getting pretty boring now.

So some young adults/late teens stumble upon some black magic, manage to raise something from the depths of darkness, and now they are marked for death and one of their own is seemingly becoming possessed and has superhuman strength and psi powers. Oh, and they communicate with the evil spirit by using an old classic Simon game. Of course they try to defeat evil and get to the bottom of whatever is going on…

Okay, I am sorry, but this franchise is done for me. It should have been done with the second movie, but definitely should never have progressed past the third movie. If this is your thing, then go for it, because it’s not absolutely terrible, I just find it increasingly uninteresting.

Come on, make a NEW movie.

 


Shaky Cam Week–Found Footage Movies

So, we’ve decided to do a week of found/lost footage movies (i.e. “Shaky Cam”). You know what those are? Movies that are supposed to look like they were recorded on handheld devices, like The Blair Witch Project. There are quite a few, but just a tiny few worth watching. Hopefully we’ll see a couple that you would like to watch…

Keep your eyes on the site!!!


Night Of The Living Dead: Resurrection (2012)–You Know What? Maybe It’s Time For Amateurs To Leave Night Of The Living Dead Alone

MV5BMjEyNTc2NDg5NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzA5MDExNw@@._V1_SX214_Okay, so there’s a Zombie outbreak, a family is stuck in their home, a group of tough ass hole teens are also causing issues and there is no happy ending.

Well you know enough about this movie now. Don’t bother wasting your time on this long winded, waste of time movie that uses the Night of the Living Dead namesake. It’s just plain boring. I really think that if you are going to butcher a movie, butcher your own movie and leave Night of the Living Dead out of it. Make up a new Zombie Movie name of your own and go with it… Ah,right, but why would anyone watch it? So, why not tack on a title of an iconic movie and hope to snag unsuspecting horror fans…

Screw you folks – you suck at making movies.


Free Ride (2013)–This Has To Be The Most Boring Movie About Drug Trafficking Ever

Free_Ride_film2013’s Free Ride stars Anna Paquin and is based on a true story as a mom in the 1970’s that escapes an abusive relationship with her kids and heads to Florida. Once there she starts working for a major pot importer whom she meets through a friend. She is raising two daughters and not doing a particular job about that. Stuff happens, people get hurt/go to jail etc…

Okay, the acting isn’t bad in this film, but the story is freakin’ boring. Coming in at only an hour and twenty-six minutes, it felt like a damned eternity. You know, just because you have a story to tell, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should, We learn that the story/movie is written by one of the daughters… Next time stick to your diary, as this is a waste of time.

Check out the trailer below, but don’t be fooled by it as it’s all smoke and mirrors – the trailer is all you really need.