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Posts tagged “terrible

Zombie Babies (2011) – No. No! No! No! No!

Okay… so I watched this movie. Yep… I watched this movie.

My very good friend and movie watching buddy suggested we watch this micro budget film (made for less than $1000), after he read a review in Rue Morgue Magazine. Yep… And we watched it.

The gist of the story? A group of freaks are holding a budget “Abortathon” offering very low priced abortions for one night a year. A number of stupid couples decide to take them up on the offer. The babies are aborted, but a leaky still with a special mixture spills out on the pile of dead fetuses, causing them to become murderous, gross zombie creatures. The people that die die in stupid, horrible ways, but that’s okay as you’ll probably end up hating them anyway.

This whole movie should have been aborted.

Good on the makers for making a movie for under $1000, bad on them for making this movie for under $1000.

Don’t watch this piece of shit. If you have to, here’s the shitty trailer for this shitty movie.

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Waxworks (1988) – Don’t Waste Your Time

Easiest write up of a movie on this blog so far: This movie is crap and doesn’t deserve a write up – IT SUCKS.

It took me two days to get through the damn thing and I hope I never see it again… An I freakin’ like crappy movies!

A bunch of teenagers get invited to a midnight sneak preview at a creepy waxmiseum – only to be drawn into the exhibits and therefore wax figures themselves. Bad acting, bad script and a bad cast… Surprisingly all this adds up to a bad movie.

If you want to see a good movie revolving around a wax museum then watch Vincent Price’s House of Wax.

Here’s the crappy trailer for this crappy movie:


Outerworld (1987) – Surprise, Surprise, Another Crappy Sci-Fi Film

Not sure what I expected… But I have watched another shitty Sci-fi film that should have been left in the depths of the 1980s.

1987’s Outerworld (also known as Beyond the Rising Moon) is a Sci-Fi romance revenge action film that fails in all those genres (and sub-genres). Starring Tracy Davis as Pentan, a genetically created hired killer that turns against her employer when she starts to question her existence and what she has been forced to do in her work.

Oh, hell was this crappy… but weirdly when I did a search, I actually found someone who loves this movie. Well, there’s no accounting for taste.

Well, I hate this movie but here’s a damned trailer for you!:


Ghoulies (1985) – Why Was This Made?

Just finished watching 1985’s Ghoulies and I’ve been left wondering why this film was made. No compelling actors or performances, the “monsters looked like the Boglins puppets that were available in the 80s (but not as good), and unlike other movies in this genre, there wasn’t even any gratuitous tits or ass.

Ok… A guy, Jonathan, inherits an old mansion, discovers an old book wrapped in some ornate robes. Reads the book, which compels him to perform a ritual, raising a demon/moster thing…and then two midgets/dwarves who do his bidding. All this leads to him becoming possessed in a way. Luring his friends to the home, he performs a bigger ceremony that releases what apparently was his evil, estranged, dead father and the two feebly battle. The caretaker of the house (who is very powerful) commes to the guy’d defence… Yeah, fuck this.

I didn’t like it.

Here is the trailer:


The Crater Lake Monster (1977) – Somebody Give This Monster About Threefiddy…

The Crater Lake Monster is a terrible movie about an ancient Dinosaur that is disturbed when a meteor crashes into the lake. Of course that monster starts eating everyone it can get.

Looks like a Plesiosaur has hatched when it’s ancient egg was warmed when this meteorite crashed and settled on the bottom of crater lake. A fisherman, and a handful of random people become it’s victims. Scientists, already at the lake studying nearby native cave painting (that of course include a painting of hunters trying to kill an aquatic dinosaur, want to study the creature while the local police officer wants it dead.

This movie stars pretty much no one, and the creature is an awkwardly animated beast… There really isn’t a lot going for it.

Wow… Why do I like this movie so much? Because it is funny and cheezy in alkl the right ways. Stupid? Oh you better believe it.

I’m going to past the Wikipedia plot summary for you because I’m not doing it any justice. Here’s what ol’ Wikipedia has to say about this wild ride of a film:

The Crater Lake Monster is a 1977 B-movie horror filmdirected by William R. Stromberg for Crown International Pictures, and starring Richard Cardella. The script was also written by Stromberg and Cardella, and their affiliation withThe Crater Lake Monster marked the zenith of their careers.[1]

The storyline revolves around a giant plesiosaur, akin to theLoch Ness Monster, which appears in Crater Lake, next to a small Oregon town. As people are attacked by the monster, the Sheriff (Cardella) investigates along with a group of scientists in order to stop the creature.

The best thing about this movie has to be the stop motion effects of the creature – much better than I expected (but not great in any way shape or form).

I freakin’ liked it, but I won’t necessarily suggest it, lest you hate it and blame me.

Check out this trailer and you judge for yourself:


Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) – Hard Movie to Watch

I only watched this movie because of a silly clip I saw on Youtube from it. I should have stuck with the clip.

Diamond smugglers, a “contaminated” escaped killer Boa constrictor (a snake), a number of 80’s Playboy Playmates, some cheezeball hunky almost actor dudes and you have this movie. Oh, and lets not for get a killer Frisbee scene. Show tits every 5 – 7 minutes and you have this shitty movie. 

Want to read about the plot and such? Too bad, as you’ll have to elsewhere for that.

Shitty movie – very shitty, but al least the clip I originally saw still makes me laugh. 

Here is that clip:


They Came From Beyond Space (1967) – Boring British Sci-Fi

A British Sci-Fi film from 1967, They Came from Beyond Space is a lack lustre, uninspired flick that barely kept my attention.

The premise is that what seem to meteors fall to earth. When they are investigated by top scientists, those scientists become controlled by another, alien intelligence that puts them to work on a plan to build ships to help these Aliens to return to their original planet. One scientist is not affected as he has a silver plate in his skull from surgery after a car accident – the plate interferes with the mind control method used by these aliens. This scientist leads the battle against the aliens. Add a plague that makes peoplk seem dead, so that the aliens can take the bodies to the moon where they are revived and used as slaves.

There you go – that is They Came From Beyond Space. Should you watch it? You decide. It is freely available as it has slipped into the public domain.

Here is a clip:

And here is the whole movie: