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Elvira: Mistress of the Dark (1988) – Yes It’s Cheezy, Yes It’s Dumb and Yes I liked It

Elvira (Cassandra Peterson) got her start on a TV station, introducing campy horror movies on a late night TV show. Dressed as a sexy, large breasted raven haired sex-vamp, she rose to the top of Pop culture in the 1980s and 1990s and her posters covered countless walls of teenage boys lusting after that fantastic figure (especially those boobs…especially those boobs).

Well this is Elvira’s movie. It tells the story of Elvira, fresh from quitting her TV job and planning on starting a Las Vegas show, but finding herself $70,000 short. Suddenly she gets word that her great Aunt has passed away and she has inherited her estate, a run down house and a “cook book.” Her appearance in this small town creates quite a ruckus, as the town have very strict rules on what is and what is not allowed: no sex and no violence in media… Just a boring little place. Elvira drives the powers to be crazy with her sexy appearance. Trying to make the best of things she gets to work on sprucing up the house with the help of the local youths. At the same time, her Great Uncle is trying to get that cook book of her aunt’s.

Well, it turns out that things in Elvira’s family are not as they seem, and she is part of a magical, ancient family that control the darkness. Her uncle wants the cookbook as is really a book of magic and spells, and possessing it during the upcoming Lunar Eclipse would seal his power as master of the dark. Of course Elvira has to stop this.

So, this is a stupid, silly movie and at times it seems like Elvira is trying to be Rodney Dangerfield with her delivery of her lines. That said, this is good, cheezy fun and I enjoyed every minute of this terrible film. Should you watch it?  Damn straight you should.

Check out the trailer:


An Interview With Russ Meyer – Conan O’Brien

This is kind of cool: an interview with one of the Kings of the Bib-Boob B-Movie Drive In movies, Russ Meyer from the Conan O’Brien show.

Enjoy!


I Didn’t Come Here to Die (2010) – If You Go Down In The Woods To day You’re in For a Poked Out Eye

image2010’s I Didn’t Come Here To Die is one of the generation of new Grindhouse style movies that seem to be gaining cachet with the alternative movie market, but does it properly.

A group of young adult have volunteers to break ground on a new camp for under privileged children. A mish-mash of personalities, these folks are brought together in the woods for what is supposed to be about a year. They are working on getting a campsite setup by clearing trails, digging fire pits and such. Being young, there is the usual sexual tension between some of the people.

On the first or second night, the group starts drinking around a camp fire (that never seems to be lit), and things get weird when one of the two group leaders, who comes off as a prude, and has been ridiculed by the others for being square (and dressing like a “Mom”), starts drinking and gets a little crazy, jumping on the bad boy of the group and basically demanding sex. Another girl pushes her of and they have a verbal spat . The leaders storms of and quickly gets injured…awesomely.

What follows is a series of accidents and not so accidents. Brutalities caused by stupidity, followed by brutalities caused by fear and humanities brutality that lies just below it’s surface.

This is a low budget movie, but that’s okay: there’s no real need for a big budget, and they did well with the little money that they did spend. Both brutal and fun, I say watch this movie if you like slasher/people in the woods style movies, though it’s not a slasher film. This film is actually pretty original. Watch it!

Here’s the trailer:


Zombies Vs. Strippers (2012) – Stupid, Yet Still Fun

 

imageAlright, by the title of the blog, you’ve got to know that I like bad movies. That must be the reason I like this one.

Zombies Vs. Strippers is a silly tale about a few strippers, the club owner, the bouncer and a couple of patrons that hole up inside a strip club at the outbreak of a Zombie Virus. Pretty straight forward. The acting’s not awesome (at the same time, it’s not the worse I’ve seen by a long shot), and the budget, like all these type of movies is pretty small, but that’s okay – I didn’t expect and award winning performance like Gandhi or anything – It was good enough to be fun.

Zombies, boobs and laughs – good enough to justify the short, one hour and fourteen minute run time.

If you like B-Movies, then go ahead and watch this movie – just don’t expect too much.


Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012) – 50 Feet of Dangerous Cheesecake Silliness

imageThere is no way that I can think of describing where it sounds like a good movie, but that’s okay because this isn’t a good movie. That said, I still liked this movie. Created in the same vein of the cheezy drive in monster/mutant movies that populated drive ins of the 1950s through the late 1970s, this movie definitely fits right in with the worse/best of them.

Produced by Roger Corman, King of the B-Movies, but more a creation of writer Mike MacLean and director Kevin O’Neill, this movie tells the story of an acne spotted, nerdy girl, Cassie Stratford (played by Jena Sims) who is pressured by her mother (played by Sean Young) to join the cheerleader squad. She fails at first, much to the delight of cheerleader squad leader, Brittany (played by Olivia Alexander). Still feeling the pressure from her mother, Cassie decides to try the serum she and another lab student help develop that seems to rejuvenate and improve the outward appearances of lab rats and mice. Initially, Cassie finds herself with a now perfect complection and a bitchin’ body. When one of the cheerleaders gets injured, Cassie tries out again, and this time wows the team (and pissing off Brittany at the same time).

As Cassie becomes more gorgeos, she is also growing. Soon she ids a behemoth of hotness, and insecure Brittany decided she needs to be like Cassie. Entering the lab Cassie studied at, she tries to coerce the serum from the nerdy lab partner but eventually accidentally gets a double dose of the serum in her boobs.

So, soon we have two, giant hot chicks which leads to what? Anyone? That’s right: two giant hot chicks fighting in tiny bits of clothing. – all the while, the nerdy lab guy is trying to administer an agent to counteract the effects of the serum. Oh: and a pharmaceutical company is trying to capture Cassie (the back the research in to the serum) for their own reasons.

So, this is a dumb, silly movie – but it is supposed to be. If you enjoy the classic B-Movies of the past then this is for you.

Here is the trailer:


Creepozoids (1987) – Late 1980’s Post Apocalypse Silliness – With Boobs :)

Watched this weird one last night. We’ve been watching a number of film that start 1980’s scream queen Linnea Quiggley after seeing here at the second annual Callgary Horror Convention on September 22, 2012. If you don’t know who she is, watch Return of the Living Dead – she’s the pink haired punk rocker that seems to have issues keeping her clothes on.

This movie is a short one, coming in at just one hour and eight minutes. That’s good, as there really isn’t very much meat to this one. A group of survivors and deserters that are trying to keep away from the mutants and the killing acid rain. They manage to find shelter in an abandoned government compound/lab.  A fortified structure that they can use to keep danger out – only one problem: the danger is already inside with them.

There’s not a lot here, but it’s fun, nonetheless. And if you are a fan of the 1980s horror genre, then go ahead and check this one out if you can find it. It’s not the worst, and 68 minutes,it doesn’t take a lot of time from your life.

Here’s the trailer for this silly film:


Hard Ticket to Hawaii (1987) – Hard Movie to Watch

I only watched this movie because of a silly clip I saw on Youtube from it. I should have stuck with the clip.

Diamond smugglers, a “contaminated” escaped killer Boa constrictor (a snake), a number of 80’s Playboy Playmates, some cheezeball hunky almost actor dudes and you have this movie. Oh, and lets not for get a killer Frisbee scene. Show tits every 5 – 7 minutes and you have this shitty movie. 

Want to read about the plot and such? Too bad, as you’ll have to elsewhere for that.

Shitty movie – very shitty, but al least the clip I originally saw still makes me laugh. 

Here is that clip: